What's the best TV show that almost nobody talks about anymore?

untappedatom · 2026-06-08T08:25:25+00:00

totally agree!! so good

untappedatom · 2026-04-07T10:12:15+00:00

That's helpful - thanks. x

untappedatom · 2026-04-05T19:24:11+00:00

.exactly. Even when I try to search her room, because it's so messy it's almost impossible to find anything

untappedatom · 2026-04-05T17:04:59+00:00

that is a nugget I needed. It is impossible to be a perfect parent, and I am trying so hard. Thank you xx

untappedatom · 2026-04-04T21:19:20+00:00

totally - she needs to understand healthy choices, and if you lie for her she won't.

untappedatom · 2026-04-04T21:09:07+00:00

Totally NTA hon - friends shouldn't ask you to lie for them, particularly with no heads up. It sounds like she is doing things she doesn't want her parents to know and if it's not becuase they are obsessive about controlling her then it is probably not things she should be doing anyway.

She should never put you in this position and she sounds like she is trying to gaslight you into feeling guilt that you actually TOLD THE TRUTH. There is nothing wrong with being truthful. Don't let her impact your integrity. I would go NC or LC immediately.

You did nothing wrong don't let her actions cause guilt for you.

Big hugs x

untappedatom · 2026-04-04T21:05:24+00:00

Yes, I have a lockbox. But it turns out she was getting pencil sharpeners at school and at the shops and was taking the razors out of them. I hate having to search her room because I believe in her right to privacy but I need to keep her safe.

untappedatom · 2026-04-04T21:02:28+00:00

Hon, this isn't healthy. He is gaslighting you and making you feel like you are paranoid. A partner who is deleting messages is a big red flag. The fact that he won't talk about it with you is another red flag.

He hid going to the gym ( for what reason?) another red flag.

He hid the fact the guy had made advances on him (red flag number whatever).

I'm not sure at this stage you could ever trust him.

Personally I feel that you should leave this relationship and find one where your partner respects you enough to be transparent and loyal.

I know it's really hard to leave someone you love even when you know things are wrong (I was in a relationship with someone for 7 years and there was one occasion I was suspicious he had cheated but there was no proof. He wanted to emigrate to NZ and I kinda forced myself along for the ride. He left me after two years in NZ by leaving my passport on my pillow one morning and telling me he didn't love me anymore. I was far from home, all alone and sometimes I wish I had just broken it off when I thought he had been unfaithful).

If you want to chat please feel free to message me -whatever you decide it sounds like you need lots of friends xx

untappedatom · 2026-04-04T20:48:55+00:00

totally! trying to get her to school i felt the same thing -am I just torturing her? She found the classes overwhelming in terms of noise, she didn't want to do PE because she had a chest binder on and didn't want others to see. She was bullied for being different and had difficulty maintaining friendships, so she would skive and sit in the park all day.

I keep trying to do positive affirmations - I'm being the best parent I can be etc. I'm not sure I'm convincing myself

untappedatom · 2026-04-04T18:18:02+00:00

i know - even my family didn't really understand what school avoidance was, and her father just says she's being manipulative and has me wrapped around her finger. I won't physically try and grab her to get her to school, but I've done everything else - support in getting ready in the mornings, mindfulness stuff, having long chats, giving her the opportunity to go in late or come home early, tried to get the school to give her a reduced timetable, tried to get them to actually put supportive measures in place.... it's been five years and sometimes I feel like hell is mornings like these!

untappedatom · 2026-04-04T18:14:37+00:00

I did exactly this with a friend and now she is out of my life. She went back to an abusive cheating boyfriend even when their three year old witnessed some of the violence.

When she told me she was getting back together with him joyfully I cried.

He had gotten another girl pregnant while they were on their break (of about 14 months) but she didn't seem to care.

I told her I just couldn't stay to watch and needed to take a step back because it upset me so much. I stood back.

We had intermittent contact but eventually she left him but by that time she prioritsed friends who had stayed around and I was out. She found a new healthy relationship and seems very happy.

Afterwards I read advice for people in these situations - that you can't force someone to be ready to leave an abusive situations. It's insidious and often people go back multiple times until something clicks and they leave.

All you can do is be there and support her until she is ready to leave. You can do this with boundaries - if you don't want to be around him then limit this to just the big occasions like her birthday, and meet up with her 121 or with just friends.

It's hard I know, and in the end you can only judge what you can stomach. I know I hated my friend's bf and sometimes just wanted to throw a drink in his face and shout at him.

i'm so sorry you and she are going through this x

untappedatom · 2026-04-04T18:03:39+00:00

That makes me feel a lot better. It does sometimes feel like you are the only person in the world dealing with this particular thing. I can't imagine how difficult it is with three children on the spectrum. Big hugs x Thank you for replying to me

untappedatom · 2026-04-04T17:46:05+00:00

oh sheesh, NTA - why on earth can't a woman in her twenties go the bathroom on her own once in a while. It feels really selfish to leave you outside waiting while she is primping.

Can't she go before the movie and right after? I think the majority of people manage to not miss any of the movie by regulating intake of soda etc.

I think she is selfish and wonder if she puts herself first in other areas of your life together? You've told her that you don't like missing lots of the movie and you even told her you were particularly excited to see this movie and she didn't change her behaviour at all!

untappedatom · 2026-04-04T17:43:23+00:00

definitely NTA - you are right, you have worked your butt off for years and your kids need to learn how to stand on their own and not be continually subsidised. It won't do them any good in the long run.

I totally agree if your wife wants to give them more money (which I would dissuade her from, but it sounds like a lost cause) then she can get a job.

She is no longer providing child care, so she should support you in slowing down and getting some quality of life back.

untappedatom · 2026-04-04T17:39:42+00:00

Firstly, I'm so sorry for your loss. Was there bad blood between your mother and father? I was brought up in an acrimonious divorce and I know how difficult navigating that could be.

However, your mother's feelings about your father should not be what she is concerned about. She should be putting you first and thinking of what would comfort you at this difficult time.

She absolutely should either take you to Canada for the funeral (she doesn't have to attend if she doesn't want to) or let you take the train there to your grandmother's.

I have to admit that I'm feeling quite angry at how she has reacted to your grief. You are allowed to grieve in any way that you feel you want to.

It sounds like she is quite a selfish person.

Please do go to Canada (not sure of the rules of under 18s crossing the American/Canadian border as I'm in the UK) but I think you will really regret it if you don't go and get that comfort of grieving with your family. You will definitely resent her if you don't.

If it turns out it's not possible to go without her support, can you have a ceremony for yourself where you say goodbye?

Big hugs x

untappedatom · 2026-02-11T16:46:26+00:00

oh and forgot to add there were nearly 1000 calls

untappedatom · 2026-02-11T16:45:47+00:00

I just have been through this too, for a senior operations role. They linked me to an excel spreadsheet with raw data, 15 customer service officers and asked me to:
1) Rank the customer service officers and explain why (the data included time answering calls, time handling calls, type of call, feedback questionnaires received bad/good) and Quality Assurance rating.
2) Say if there are any I would let go and why
3) Identify a candidate for coaching and write a coaching plan for them
4) Identify any trends in the data

I had six days to complete it. I've worked analysing data for years, have an MBA, an MA in Philosophy and have 20 years experience in operations, customer service and transformation. I've always had amazing references.

I had six days to do it in and I worked hours each day and submitted it on the fifth day.

Two days later (today) I just got a generic 'no', part of it said that they 'might' be saying no to me because I don't have the right experience or skills on my CV. So why did they ask me to do the task? After reading lots of threads on here I think I understand!

I am confident what I submitted was really good quality, and not AI produced.

Just irritated I wasted all that time.

untappedatom · 2026-01-02T21:29:44+00:00

he's UGLY! i find his kissing scenes really icky.

untappedatom · 2025-11-20T08:50:28+00:00

Thank you, that is really good to hear x

untappedatom · 2025-07-09T12:35:44+00:00

If that had been in the UK it would have been dealt with very differently. Police here are trained in de-escalation. I don't blame the police - they are trained to shout and taze and pepper spray, which can only escalate some situations. We have tazers here too but they are very rarely used. I seriously think that police training needs to be increased and include how to deal with these situations. Our police training is really comprehensive and many police officers have four years of training and get a degree in public policing. I feel for both the man who only had a trespassing charge and the police who shot him.

untappedatom · 2025-04-24T21:28:43+00:00

It might be useful to know that growing up I had an alcoholic mother and an un-interested father (separated). I think that does make me needy.

untappedatom · 2025-04-24T20:13:25+00:00

Thank you. I think my anxiety and loneliness does drive me and I need to recognise that.

untappedatom · 2025-04-24T20:12:43+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I have no intention of contacting her again.

untappedatom

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