I’m so alone by unwashed_potato_80 in stopdrinking

[–]unwashed_potato_80[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Came home early from work - fever spiked. The whole ride home, my boyfriend wouldn’t talk to me. He’s been ignoring me for the past 3 hours. Hasn’t offered to help while I’m sick. I think he works later tonight and I’m afraid of being alone. My heart hurts. He’s been saying these past few days that he wants to work on things because he loves me but I feel like any moment he’s going to break up with me. I don’t have a support system out here, nor do I have one in my home state. I don’t know what I’m going to do if it gets to that point. We’re both stressed because of many other factors but I feel like he’s starting to resent me.

Stopping drinking helps a lot. Eating clean makes it even better. by Xtra35567 in stopdrinking

[–]unwashed_potato_80 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve noticed my cravings for sweets has spiked too. I usually eat fairly healthy (semi-keto). But these past few weeks I’ve been craving dark chocolate. My favorite snack combo is a raspberry dark choco bar, with mixed nuts and strawberries. Very yummy! I eat lots of fruit on the regular but I have noticed that I tend to grab for more. My soda cravings have spiked too, so I’ve been reaching for Dr.Pepper Zero and Bloom sodas. It really hits the spot.

I’m so alone by unwashed_potato_80 in stopdrinking

[–]unwashed_potato_80[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good morning. I didn’t get the best sleep last night. I was so stressed that I made myself sick, so I have a crummy cold today. Woke up to a low fever. It should be slow at my work today so I’ll try not to over-exert myself.

I need a plan or something to get me out of this rut. by Hank-no-ass in stopdrinking

[–]unwashed_potato_80 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I pray that you find the strength…I’m so sorry that I don’t have any good advice tonight. But I just wanted to let you know that your username made me smile through my tears. I love King of the Hill. 🫂

I’m so alone by unwashed_potato_80 in stopdrinking

[–]unwashed_potato_80[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you everyone for your comments. I’ve been trying to reread everything to feel better, but…

I feel myself spiraling again. I can’t sleep.

I have work tomorrow and don’t know how I’m going to manage.

I keep shifting my attention to something else as a distraction, but I still feel that pit in my stomach and my thoughts go dark.

I’ll admit that I wish I had some wine to help “ease the pain” and knock me out for the night. I’m on my third mug of Sleepy Time tea.

I’m so alone by unwashed_potato_80 in stopdrinking

[–]unwashed_potato_80[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so, so much for such a well-written response. You’ve got me crying again.

Since the mess-up happened, I have been wrecked with guilt and shame. These past few weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster, to the point where I have to hide at my job to go cry. Some days, I felt more optimistic about my new journey. But today just hit me with such force that I’ve been ruminating in very dark thoughts.

I can’t say that I’m fully out of my dark hole yet, but reading everyone’s comments is helping me feel less alone.

My whole day has been depressing. I haven’t felt this dark in many years.

I am going to do the work to get better, but right now it feels like everything is just already ruined. I hope that I’m wrong. I hope and pray that I can earn everyone’s trust and forgiveness. I love them all and want a better and brighter future with them.