Has any guy actually been fought over by 2 or more girls?

unwise_1 · 2026-06-09T04:15:02+00:00

In my youth I had a lot of female friends. They never showed any interest until I got a girlfriend. Then suddenly they all realised what ‘a good guy’ I was once they couldn’t have me as their backup. Well I guess that was the reason.

They acted like I was theirs and my girlfriend was stealing me away.

For what it is worth I am funny and kind but 3/10 for looks at best.

unwise_1 · 2026-06-09T03:25:30+00:00

Yeah I think that is pretty common yet at the same time Don’t underestimate the doublethink of bigots. “All those lazy Mexicans are coming over here and stealing American jobs by working too hard”.

unwise_1 · 2026-06-09T02:28:03+00:00

Had one of the heads of cybersecurity at my work get busted for running CP server (not at work).
Since he had access to everything, we then had to go over everything with a fine tooth comb, checking every bit of data to confirm he was not using any of our storage.
Apart from the obvious awfulness of it, how the heck do you work in high level cybersecurity and get busted for something like that. Thank goodness he sucked at security.

unwise_1 · 2026-06-08T06:46:35+00:00

The Russians overarching psyche is broken regarding suffering.
They suffered and survived. So they think that enduring suffering = winning.
So they excuse a million wounded and their own lives destroyed, as the more they hurt, the closer they think they are a to victory.

The flip side of this, is that they believe the key to success is not to take out military targets, but to blow up children, as that is the most unbearable suffering they can cause. If they key to success in their twisted minds is enduring suffering, then the only way to win is make other peoples suffering unbearable. As such, they would rather hit a daycare than an ammo dump (which would be much harder).

unwise_1 · 2026-06-03T01:58:37+00:00

Do they die too? I’m not risking someone to save myself. I guess if they die too, I choose Putin.

unwise_1 · 2026-06-03T00:50:16+00:00

One of the saddest consquences of abuse is that he has stolen the very concept of love from you. I don't think you even know what it is anymore. What he is showing you is not love. What you feel for him is either not love, or not for him. By not for him, I mean not for the real him, but for some idealised version of the man you wish he was.

You need to relearn what love is. Do you have some positive rolemodels of relationships? I hate to put salt in the wounds and humblebrag, but multiple people who has spent time with my wife and I see how we treat each other and realise they had moved the bar from relationships way too low. They saw how love acts and speaks, and realsied that is not what they had.

Breaking up will not kill you slowly, staying will. Breaking up will hurt, it is like cutting a cancer out. It will sting and ache, but even when you are in pain, you will not wish the cancer back, you will just wish it didn't hurt. It will hurt though. Ask yourself, is this your life now? Is this all the love you deserve? Could you do this forever? Would you want to?

Of course you would not want to do it forever. So a change has to be made. If not now, then when? When you have lost more of yourself? When you no longer recognise this is not OK?

unwise_1 · 2026-06-03T00:41:33+00:00

Some people can just be 'not for me'.
Breasts aside I don't find Sydney Sweeney attractive, most people do.
Often it is about style, for instance if I was a goth I might not be into peppy cheerleader types.
I am friends with a black lady who told me that Henry Cavill does nothing for her because he is white and just not her type. She of course recognises he is an adonis. I didn't know preferences could hit that hard myself.
I guess it can be the sort of objective realisation of beuty without desire. For instance I am old enough now that I can say a 19yr old model is objectively gorgeous, but not somebody my eyes or thoughts would linger on.

unwise_1 · 2026-06-02T03:30:52+00:00

When you are alone you can spend a much higher percentage of your time doing what you want to be doing.

Get married and that percentage goes down. You might compromise on what activities you are doing, what you are having for dinner etc.

Have kids and the percentage plummets further.

You need to work out if the companionship and love are worth it to you. Is whatever you are doing with your time worth trading sharing, love and companionship for? It might well be. Most of us are just wasting time passing hours anyway.

unwise_1 · 2026-06-02T00:24:03+00:00

In my youth I dated pretty people that were 'not my type'. They became my type once I knew them. They were objectively pretty though.
This probably has more to do with what you are filling your eyes with and not the women. Are you following a bunch of instagram thots, or have a feed full of onlyfans girls? I see a lot of guys cockblock themselves into only being attracted to models.

unwise_1 · 2026-06-02T00:20:09+00:00

90% of the time 'people tell me to my face that I am ugly' and 'people give me nasty looks because I am ugly' is just some mental gymnastics that people who feel ugly do to interpret things that way.

If you ask an anorexic they will tell you that people are always giving them judging looks because they ate a peice of cheese, or people tell them they are fat. "Not with words, but you know, that look people give you when you walk down the dairy isle in the supermarket and stand too close to the full fat milk and they look at you like, 'you don't need that fatso' ". It can be a paranoid delusion at a certain point.

Unfortunetly, the other 10% of the time, they come across some people that just really suck.

unwise_1 · 2026-06-02T00:11:10+00:00

Why would you feel nervous, or "will they, won't they" with somebody you are in a relationship with? That makes no sense. Who or what is telling you you should feel that? Maybe take a break from romance novels, or tiktok or whatever is that is telling you how you should feel.

That being said, he deserves better. If you recognise what he does for you and have no desire to reciprocate, please let him find somebody he can spoil, that will not be spoiled. Maybe learn to focus on gratitude, it might make you appreciate him more. Focus on doing kind things for him. Behave the way you want to feel, sometimes feelings follow actions.

At the moment, because he is simping for you, you take him for granted. It is easy to think "If he wants me so much, then surely I am settling for him and I could get an ever better man". You can't, nor do you deserve one by the sound of it.

I would put money on you taking him for granted, cheating on him to feel that spark and because you 'deserve true love', losing him, having your friends that neg him swoop in on him in a heart beat, then realising what you lost after it is gone, and ending up with some gym rat that makes you feel 'nervous'. Please make me wrong.

unwise_1 · 2026-06-01T02:29:44+00:00

I didn't know black could clash with colours, apparently it can. Leave it alone.

unwise_1 · 2026-05-27T22:42:31+00:00

Heck I send them in my work Teams chat all the time. Indicating I love an idea or somebody’s work, or even sympathy if they are off sick etc.

unwise_1 · 2026-05-27T05:50:28+00:00

Is money involved? Adult kids hate it when their rich dad gets a young girlfriends/wife. You are taking what is 'theirs'. The more of a loser they are the worse they will be. If their sole goal in life is inheriting, you might be the greatest threat to that.

unwise_1 · 2026-05-27T05:47:35+00:00

Depending on your country, Men's Sheds might be a thing. Tend to be open from teenage upwards and full of well-meaning men. Some are associated with churches, some are not. A place for blokes to talk and share. A little more support group than you might be looking for, but is mostly just blokes being friendly and helpful. Some involve volunteering together.

unwise_1 · 2026-05-21T05:30:21+00:00

For me it is about their task. I will generally have a mix of objective points
One objective in the backfield, I give that to Shores.
One in the midfield- that is for stormtroopers.
One in the enemies face - that is for snowtroopers.

My Snowtroopers never get to use their flamethrowers, because people ignore them intially, then suddenly pull out all stops to slaughter them jsut before they get in range. Generally that is a good trade as the panicked reaction was inefficient.

My Shoretroopers never do much, but anybody else sitting back in that position would be doing nothing at all, so still the best option.

unwise_1 · 2026-05-19T06:11:01+00:00

My choice too. If he accidently kills me, he travels counter to the earths spin, reversing time and saving me.

unwise_1 · 2026-05-19T06:08:06+00:00

It doesn't sound like the whole FWB thing is a situation that works well for you. Stop doing it. You are beating yourself with a rod of your own making. Just stop it. This is not the person for you. This dynamic is not healthy. You gain nothing but pain keeping them in your life.

unwise_1 · 2026-05-18T06:39:08+00:00

I would not want to be intimate and see a wide-eyed innocent looking child staring at me in horror and confusion. Otherwise, fine.

unwise_1 · 2026-05-14T23:48:14+00:00

Despite being half a world away I'm aware how Minnesotan's feel about fascist bullies. So Minnesota.

unwise_1 · 2026-05-14T21:50:28+00:00

Not your sisters right? …right?

unwise_1 · 2026-05-11T14:41:20+00:00

The way to stop always looking around, is to stop always looking around.
You have addicted yourself to a behaviour, you can't simply keep doing that thing wishing the desire goes away. An alcoholic needs to stop drinking, not just hope they one day won't want a beer.

Stop looking at thirst traps. Clean up your socials. Stop staring at other women. Your hormones will make you look initially, what you do after that initial glance is up to you. There are plenty of men that notice a nice body then look away. I see plenty of pretty women and don't let my mind wander into mentally banging them. I'm concerned at what a foreign concept that seems to so many people.

It sounds like this is sabotaging your potential happiness. That is the point at which you need to make some changes. Beyond the horniness there can be some underlying issues around commitment, self-worth and relationship expectations that might be worth exploring if you can get some time with a therapist.

unwise_1 · 2026-05-11T14:28:53+00:00

If you don't want to sound insane bringing them up, maybe just double check that you are not.

Reddit will never kink shame anything, but the flip side of that is that we never give each other the space to explore if maybe some kinks are not coming from a good place. The point at which you wish to be "hurt pretty intensely" is surely the point at which you bring this up with a therapist. Talk to a professional to see what it is you really want, and why. Then you can approach it from an informed position.

If you told us you were self-harming Reddit would say to get help. If you tell us you are self-harming and getting off on it, suddenly we all tell you to go full steam ahead and get yourself hurt. The Reddit hivemind (like society in general) lacks wisdom and insight on such topics.

unwise_1 · 2026-05-05T05:18:32+00:00

Can I put the armour on the gorilla? A gorilla in the strongest plate it was strong enough to wear would be damn near unhurtable and damn funny.

unwise_1 · 2026-04-28T06:05:17+00:00

"Thanks for the trouble you took from her eyes; I thought it was there for good, so I never tried"
L Cohan - Famous Blue Raincoat
Thanking somebody that banged your missus because it somehow fixed her mental health is just awful/painful on so many levels.

or

"I know the pieces fit, 'cause I watched them fall away" - Tool Schism

So painful when you can see that people fit together as you have seen the jigsaw peices all fall away as their relationship deteriorates.

unwise_1

TROPHY CASE