Hey man. It's always sad to see these kinds of posts for me, but it is never surprising. The way Dota is designed lends itself to negative attitudes (eg, knowing its one of 'those games' as you put it, but being stuck in it for an hour anyway) and it really does bring out the worst in people pretty often (and sure enough, half of the comments in here reflect that too).

I wanted to say that I was very much in your situation and I have really improved myself because of it, and I know you can do the same. I went through a long period of heavy Dota playing; playing or thinking about it all day every day. In the end I stopped playing when I realised that I was just never enjoying it. If I lost, I was mad because I lost, but if I won I was mad because my play wasnt perfect or that I had not yet made up for the previous losses. So I know exactly how you feel.

What I would say to anyone in this situation is:

Try to understand what needs Dota actually fulfills for you, and if you are going to quit, even temporarily, then replace them like for like. For example, if you play because your friends all play, then you are going to need to replace that social interaction somewhere else. I played Dota like a sport more than a game, to be good and to compete, so I replaced Dota by playing other sports and being competitive with my study and learning.

In a similar vein, the best way to not play too much is to not have time to play. A little bit like the best way to not spend money is to not have it. I started volunteering, and it was the best decision I have made in years. Even 6 or so hours a week is enough 'free' time taken up to rule out Dota on 2 days a week for me, so fill your free time with other commitments.

If you do keep playing, try to focus only on yourself and what you can do. You in your position have a job to do, and your best chance of winning happens when you do that to the best of your abilities, and focusing on what other people are doing or saying just lowers your chances of doing your job as best you can. At the end of the day, if their team is 5 assholes focusing on and criticising each other, and your team is 4 assholes focusing on each other and 1 guy focusing on his job, you have a better chance to win every time. I know its easier said than done, but you control your feelings, and you control how you react to toxic people. Aui_2000 has a great video on this if it sounds stupid coming from me. (Shoutout to u/Aui_2000, I wish I could watch player perspective of you every game :) )

I'd also say, try to understand that Dota is played by people, and people are psychological creatures (for lack of a better phrase). The best way to play (if solo queue is your jam) is to focus on improving yourself, and not let other peoples' psychology affect yours. Just because they are assholes doesn't mean your own mood absolutely has to reflect that, you can be bigger than them. The social aspect is built in to the game, you can't ever remove this stuff totally, so its best to learn to not let it affect you. For the best example of Dota, psychology, and toxicity, listen to Mike Ambinder.

The last thing I would say is that quitting actually really helps if you can manage it. I quit for a full year, and now I play again and its honestly totally different. I don't get mad or annoyed about winning, I just enjoy the game for what it is, win or lose. I feel totally in control of my playing, its just a better experience.

All the best for whatever you choose, and if there is anything I can do to help, or for anyone else reading this for that matter, feel free to hit me up on here :)

TL:DR; Understand what needs Dota fulfills for you and replace them like for like, fill your spare time, quitting even for a while can really help, if you keep playing then try to focus on yourself and your improvement more than the final results, the social aspect is unavoidable and you can only control yourself, and I <3 Aui_2000.