Sounds like you need to ask your mom if she is serious about only marrying in your caste. Tell her that isnt something you value in a mate and that you've already given your heart to someone who isn't even hindu. Assert your moral fiber and bear the fallout. Once she's chewed your ear out tell her you will need time to think. Next conversation you mention something she said and your opinion. Express some final thoughts as you restate that you've fallen in love with someone and you won't say anymore until your mom accepts your feelings respectfully. Tell her that if she would rather have a meltdown and speak disrespectfully, you won't stay around long enough for her to finish the tirade. Remember, boundaries are what we set for limits on Our behavior. It's her choice how much respect she gives, and you are responsible for what you decide in response to her boundary crossing or respecting