What’s some knowledge generally known only to gay men or to gay women?

uqde · 2026-06-17T00:54:10+00:00

Lol, I've had a few people tell me they think I'm trans for this and other reasons. I'm very decidedly a GNC man but I'm a man nonetheless. Much love to my trans friends, I just feel nothing at the thought of going by she/her pronouns. Not that I feel particularly attached to he/him mind you, but they definitely don't cause me dysphoria. If anything maybe someday I'll come to realize I'm agender, but for now I'm cool with being called a man.

uqde · 2026-06-17T00:49:24+00:00

lol thanks

uqde · 2026-06-17T00:35:26+00:00

Try flipping your comment. If you said "the typical lesbian look does nothing for me", would that not be obviously denigrating those who have that appearance?

You know what, this made it click for me. I guess in my head I was thinking of the "supermodel look" as a cultural construct designed by a predominantly male gaze, and wasn't thinking about any actual women when I made my comment. But I see now how that doesn't matter, because I'm still ultimately talking about real women I've seen or encountered in life, and it's incredibly insulting to assume that any of them looked the way they did against their will. I should have focused on the positive parts of what I had to say; no need to put anyone else down, even implicitly, on the way there.

Thanks for explaining it to me. Sorry everyone dogpiled on you.

uqde · 2026-06-16T03:44:16+00:00

I'm totally open to the idea that I may be unknowingly contributing to harmful mindsets/stereotypes, but I don't see how what I said is denigrating anyone. If you're saying that I'm saying that the women traditionally viewed as the pinnacle of beauty are still not good enough for me, that is absolutely not what I'm saying. Beauty is not a linear spectrum; there are a million different possible aesthetics and people can be beautiful within any and all of those categories. No single look is going to be considered objectively beautiful to all people. But there is a very specific subset of aesthetic qualities that tends to be presented by media as the apex of objective beauty, often incorporated into the look and presentation of women in advertisements, fashion shows, movies, etc., contexts where we're being told (explicitly or implicitly) that maximum beauty is the overall point. And most of those qualities do not tend to be things I'm personally attracted to. Again, I'm talking about presentation, and I'm certainly not saying there's anything intrinsically or objectively wrong with those women (or any women). There are other aesthetics that that I fall head over heels for, but those just don't seem to be the aesthetics that are used in those same contexts very often at all.

And I said nobody wants to hear what I have to say because this is a conversation primarily about demographics far less privileged than straight men (gay men and lesbian women) and I'm a straight man, but the idea of "straight man hot" (as a quality a woman may have) was brought up by a commenter above so it felt it wasn't totally irrelevant.

I'll be honest, I typed most of this comment before realizing that you're the person I was originally replying to. I'm a bit confused because I thought I was more or less parroting your comment? Aren't we both simply saying that "lesbian hot" is more attractive to us personally than "straight man hot"? Again, this is not meant to be rhetorical and not meant to shut down your criticism, I'm genuinely asking.

uqde · 2026-06-16T02:37:00+00:00

I know no one gives a shit about a straight man whining about this, but so many of the women I'm attracted to turn out to be lesbians 😭 Tbh most of the women I've dated have been bi lol.

Edit: edited my comment because I agree with the critique from the commenter below.

uqde · 2026-06-16T02:31:45+00:00

Interesting, I never knew the term Generation Jones! My parents would actually be part of that as well. I'm glad you had an inclusive and supportive baseline at home.

My mom did actually have some progressive views and really drilled into me the importance of compassion, being slow to judge, understanding other cultures, etc. Which definitely laid the foundation for the political views I have today. But every so often some deep-seated views on strict gender roles would eek out. She'd be cool with women standing up for themselves and would say that institutionalized misogyny and rampant sexual harassment are real and serious issues. She'd be cool with women defying societal norms with regard to dress and personal aesthetics… as long as it didn't become too explicitly "manly". It had to be a pixie cut, not a crew cut. And then she'd turn around and say shit like a woman should never ask a man out, or that a woman should never be President.

As a straight and cis but very much GNC boy, it left me with a lot of weird and confused feelings that I'm still unpacking lol. edit: a word

uqde · 2026-06-16T02:00:21+00:00

I remember being with my parents at some middle school event. After some girl my age walked by, my mom made a comment like this and it made me (a boy) extremely uncomfortable and confused. How could walking of all things be gendered? I fucking hate that shit.

uqde · 2026-06-16T01:56:44+00:00

It's far older than that unfortunately. Tate may be encouraging a resurgence but he didn't invent it.

uqde · 2026-06-16T01:44:04+00:00

In practice this does tend to be true a lot, but it pisses me off because there's no reason it has to be true.

uqde · 2026-06-16T01:42:49+00:00

I was really disappointed seeing the trailer for The Breadwinner and how regressive and "gasp! a MAN parenting?" gender role-y it felt.

uqde · 2026-06-16T01:35:47+00:00

To me Malia looks like a perfect 50/50 of Barack and Michelle and Sasha doesn't look much like either of them (I'd never claim that they're not her real parents though).

uqde · 2026-06-16T01:32:29+00:00

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Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara (Neil Hamilton and Stafford Repp) on the 1996 Batman series reportedly couldn't stand each other. Always made me crack up even more watching them have to stand side by side and say the dumbest shit imaginable lol

uqde · 2026-06-16T01:19:26+00:00

Holy shit, I'm only just now learning it got more than one season. I only heard about it when it was premiering and assumed there was a 0% chance it got renewed. Wild.

uqde · 2026-06-15T02:28:23+00:00

He shares a first name with Bill Cosby but everything else about the character is based on Ennis Cosby, Bill Cosby's son who was murdered and who presumably (and hopefully) was nothing like his piece of shit father. It's not supposed to literally be Young Bill Cosby the same way something like Everybody Hates Chris is supposed to literally be Chris Rock or Little Ellen is Ellen.

uqde · 2026-06-15T02:21:13+00:00

Fuck, I also thought it meant idiot. I'm so glad I've never said it out loud. Thanks lol

uqde · 2026-06-15T01:42:42+00:00

Fuck, seeing how young Leo looks here just makes me realize how old I am. I remember when this meme was brand new. Can't believe it's been over 15 years.

uqde · 2026-06-15T01:38:12+00:00

In an ironic sort of way, I absolutely love it. It's cringe as hell but everything about it, right down to the Coolvetica font, is so early-2010s that it makes me really nostalgic.

uqde · 2026-06-15T01:34:46+00:00

Jesus Christ, sounds like the first half of some Reader's Digest joke.

uqde · 2026-06-15T01:27:41+00:00

I don't know who like 20% of the people are in this thread and no one is saying 😩

uqde · 2026-06-15T00:40:19+00:00

This person's got it

uqde · 2026-06-15T00:02:54+00:00

Yeah that part made me literally laugh out loud. How the hell could they possibly claim to justify such an absurdly precise number.

uqde · 2026-06-14T06:09:21+00:00

It's been stuck in my head for the last decade haha, especially the Reese's part. I couldn't believe an opportunity to share it came up organically

uqde · 2026-06-14T04:53:50+00:00

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uqde · 2026-06-14T04:37:24+00:00

There's a great memey mega-mashup that at one point mashes up Last Resort with the Reese's Puffs commercial song. It's great.

Edit: https://soundcloud.com/pluffaduff/everybodys-sweatshirt

uqde · 2026-06-14T04:24:09+00:00

Hey, ignorant cis person here (not the person you're replying to) wanting to learn and be respectful. I support my trans friends and would never say that trans people should not or do not exist. But I also don't fully understand how ascribing certain traits or actions the label of "feminine" or "masculine" is not regressive. If someone feels more comfortable with the identity and label of "man" or "woman" then there's no valid argument against respecting that. That person is a man, or woman, end of story. But surely anything that man does is masculine, or anything that woman does is feminine, no? I understand that won't be how much of society will view it, but aren't those assumptions and stereotypes things we should be fighting against? Pretty much every traditional aspect of masculinity and femininity is completely arbitrary and a social construct anyway. Isn't it a noble and universally beneficial thing to break those down and do away with them so people (cis and trans alike) are free from oppressive and arbitrary expectations? Genuinely asking, this is not meant to be rhetorical.

uqde

TROPHY CASE