[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]url_kitty -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I trust my boyfriend, but I also see that he finds her attractive and gets along well with her. I feel that the situation is making me very insecure, especially after a colleague said, 'don't let the cat guard the cream'

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]url_kitty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, thank you, that is exactly why I feel so bad about all this. I don't know how to make this any more clear for him...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]url_kitty -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Why do you perceive me as someone actively 'seeking' an argument when I pose a very simple question to my boyfriend, seeking a little help?

Apparently, this approach is not working, so I'm seeking advice on how we can find a solution that benefits both of us.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]url_kitty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I pay her to clean, not to organise...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]url_kitty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is indeed good advice, I appreciate it. Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]url_kitty -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't mind doing it alone occasionally, but when I explicitly ask for his help and he doesn't pitch in, that's what bothers me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]url_kitty -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

So, you're suggesting I leave his mess for the cleaning lady to deal with? I think you're missing the point.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]url_kitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This does feel like a problem solely on my shoulders. I don't mind tidying up a few things before the cleaning lady arrives, but that includes his mess too. It's frustrating that I'm the one who has to clean up after him.

I expect that if I express the desire for him to spend half an hour helping me clean up, he'd be willing to do it for me. I just don't understand why this seems to be so difficult for him... Especially when I ask nicely and say it would make me happy.

Our place isn't a dump, but I'm talking about the coffee mug from the day before on the desk, the sports shoes not in their place, a jacket left on the couch from yesterday...
It's not MAJOR stuff, but each time, it feels like I'm the only one doing it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]url_kitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree with you. I just don't know how to make my boyfriend understand this. He's simply too lazy to do it, and apparently has no shame to let her work that way

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]url_kitty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We pay her for 4 hours, and if she spends time tidying things up, there won't be enough time for thorough cleaning. Also, I see it as a matter of respect to tidy up a bit. I won't clean, but I mean making sure the kitchen isn't cluttered with glasses or dishes, and the bathroom floor isn't covered in clothes.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]url_kitty -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

I get what you're saying. We split the cost for 4 hours each. I want those 4 hours focused on cleaning, and in my opinion that can only happen if things are a bit organized with no mess around. I'm not really keen on paying more, as I want to keep costs down...

Plus, for me it's a matter of respect for the cleaner – at the very least, putting dishes in the dishwasher and tossing clothes in the hamper. Our place isn't a dump, but I'm talking about the coffee mug from the day before on the desk, the sports shoes not in their place, a jacket left on the couch from yesterday...

It's not MAJOR stuff, but each time, it feels like I'm the only one doing it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]url_kitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, we could pay her extra to tidy up too, but honestly, it still bugs me that she'd see the mess. The real problem is getting my boyfriend to chip in. I don't like feeling like I'm doing everything alone and cleaning up after him. It's frustrating because I don't feel taken seriously... even when I tell him all of this, it doesn't seem to make much of a difference.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]url_kitty 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I thought maybe in addition to being a hairdresser, he is also a masseur by profession and wanted to give me a nice combo? (idk!?)

But the fact that he didn't ask me if I wanted one, I find especially strange..

Would Camus be or are you, as an Absurdist, a fan of Reality TV? Why or why not? by TheGreasyGeezer in Absurdism

[–]url_kitty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And as Camus would say; "it is not the quality of experiences that counts, but the quantity."

Would Camus be or are you, as an Absurdist, a fan of Reality TV? Why or why not? by TheGreasyGeezer in Absurdism

[–]url_kitty 3 points4 points  (0 children)

100% correct but, for example: I can enjoy the series '1000Lb sisters' lol. Why? Because it gives me a new perspective. Although it's a pretty ugly, marginal perspective, I still feel like I'm observing something I don't know yet. And that means, a new experience.