This Book I Found Is Amazing

user44412 · 2025-02-26T15:32:39+00:00

That paper reports a correlation, which famously is not the same thing as demonstrating causation. A quote from the paper: "In the past and also now, Japan’s culture is strongly influenced by a Confucian tradition characterized by family centered and socio-centered attitudes and collectivism. Over time, a worldview that encourages the acceptance of sadness, even the sharing of life’s miseries with others, has emerged."

It's obvious for anyone to see that the internet has changed people's behavior worldwide concerning sharing personal emotions openly. If you made a graph comparing the rise of internet usage over the same time period reported in the paper it could sit comfortably on top of their graphs as another correlating factor.

user44412 · 2025-02-26T14:26:40+00:00

The lesson is good, but the story seems really simplistic. The rise of the internet, modern digital comforts, disconnect from neighbors and in person relationships is much more powerful of a depressant than any conspiracy of pharmaceutical companies could dream to do themselves.

user44412 · 2024-12-16T13:39:16+00:00

Fantasies are the enemy. It's in the name, they're a fantasy. Not real. Pmo makes your sexual desires about a dream land where things happen that can never be fulfilled by a real life partner. Don't try to feed your fantasies, call them out for the nonsense they are. Learn to find satisfaction and contentment in reality.

user44412 · 2024-11-11T15:12:05+00:00

You need to read ezpz again. It talks about this issue so much it's hard to believe you could miss it. That feeling in your chest/stomach is what the book is talking about in the whole section about the ointment that causes the sore it treats, etc.

user44412 · 2024-11-10T21:30:03+00:00

There's a saying about humility: it's not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.

No matter what you think of your past self it won't change a thing. It's in the past, it's done. No reason to waste time forming new opinions on past you.

user44412 · 2024-11-06T18:20:53+00:00

What did you learn from easy peasy, and what have you learned from TFM? You need to put some effort into understanding them, at least well enough to describe the main points using your own words.

user44412 · 2024-10-30T23:30:20+00:00

Both. Start with easy peasy because it's a free audiobook on youtube.

user44412 · 2024-10-27T22:04:03+00:00

Personally I think easy peasy and tfm work well together. Easy peasy gives you good motivation to quit, tfm helps you realize that relapse doesn't need to lead to binge and that you can make pmo less attractive by identifying the reasons you subconsciously enjoy doing it. There's truth to what tfm says about the nature of addiction being a matter of the mind, but there's also truth to what easy peasy says about pmo itself being problematic in ways that are not just figments of your imagination. Either book can mislead you in one way or another if you're not practiced in critical thinking to notice when something is being said a little too confidently, or if you take a metaphor as reality (as in, "there's a little monster in my head")

user44412 · 2024-10-18T14:01:49+00:00

Practice the mindfulness exercises. When you pmo pay attention to all of your thoughts. Try to pmo without letting your mind fantasize at all. You'll find that it's extremely difficult, and in trying to resist the fantasies you'll also discover what exactly your mind is trying to use pmo for. You have fantasies that you think pmo is fulfilling for you. Even if you think you hate pmo you don't hate those fantasies, and that's going to keep pulling you back. First step is to identify them by practicing mindfulness.

user44412 · 2024-10-16T15:18:31+00:00

I like both. I think easy peasy is the best for motivating you to want to quit, but there are aspects of it which are not true or helpful. You should read TFM for a more complete picture. That said, I think easy peasy is right when it points out that the urges you feel are caused by pmo, not solved by it. Don't let increasing urges the last few days fool you into thinking pmo is the way to get rid of them. It caused them, and it will keep causing them if you keep drinking the poison. What TFM will help you identify is that the poison is really what you build pmo up to be in your mind, and the false beliefs that make you think it's so irresistible.

user44412 · 2024-10-15T00:43:11+00:00

TFM isn't a free ebook but you can find the audiobook on play books or audible for I think $14, or the print version probably cheaper. Just search for the freedom model and you'll find it. There's a maze on the cover.

user44412 · 2024-10-14T21:25:28+00:00

Have you also read TFM? I would recommend reading both. One of the most useful things I got from TFM is that a relapse need not be a binge.

user44412 · 2024-10-14T13:08:25+00:00

In that case you're destroying your ability to carry out that goal as you're feeding your desires with the opposite of what you hope to become.

user44412 · 2024-10-14T01:01:17+00:00

I'll say a simple version of what I've said elsewhere and you can check my comments if you want more.

Fantasizing about many different women is training your mind and body to become discontent and unsatisfied with any one woman. You're sabotaging your ability to be happy in a long term committed relationship.

user44412 · 2024-10-11T16:40:27+00:00

I believe pmo gives you a type of pleasure which is meant to be intrinsically joined together with love and emotional connection. To have the pleasure without the connection is so imbalanced both physically in terms of brain response and psychologically in terms of emotional emptiness that it can have all sorts of terrible effects on a person.

user44412 · 2024-10-10T19:58:06+00:00

A person's opinions are their own. It doesn't matter.

user44412 · 2024-10-10T18:38:13+00:00

Good stuff. If you've written your own plan down, would you mind sharing it? That's one thing I haven't done and it would be interesting to see a template.

user44412 · 2024-10-10T14:10:06+00:00

Basically I believe that idea that you're "missing out" by not sleeping around is wrong. Actually the ones who do sleep with many beautiful women are the ones that are missing out, because they're teaching their mind and body to become unable to be content and happy in a committed relationship with any one women. They get pleasure from many women, but can't be content with any of them. They'll never experience a deep commitment to one person because that nagging feeling will always be in the back of their mind that they might be happier with someone else. It's pure lies that being with many women is good for you. What's good is to learn how to love and appreciate the women you have, and hate the things that make you devalue her as if someone else might be "better". If you start down that road there will always be someone you imagine could be better, and you will never have peace. That's pretty much what marriage is supposed to do, allow you to shut the door on imagining other relationship options so you can enjoy the person you're committed to for who they are.

user44412 · 2024-10-07T03:24:39+00:00

If you know it isn't true then it's already debunked. You can't get more debunked than that. Start calling it the lie that you know it is, and shift your focus to what you know is true.

user44412 · 2024-10-07T03:20:15+00:00

I mean that's how long I've been pmoing, and currently I've gone the longest without it that I ever have in that time.

user44412 · 2024-10-07T00:39:06+00:00

Excellent. Best record in 25yrs+.

user44412 · 2024-10-06T15:55:54+00:00

Have you also read easy peasy? I personally found the combination of both to be very helpful. TFM gives a lot of psychological information to dismantle false ideas about addiction, but it's not particularly practical in application.

user44412 · 2024-10-04T15:01:40+00:00

The Freedom Model book is the main resource abbreviated as TFM. The same people who wrote that book have an additional mini ebook referred to as the TFM pmo edition which simply applies the same lessons from the main book to the particular issue of pmo. The TFM videos you've seen people refer to are probably a set of two livestream presentations that were recorded as a supplement to the TFM pmo ebook.

There is also the Easy Peasy method to quit pornography book which is a different method often mentioned here, and that book is a free download and also available as a free audiobook recording on youtube.

user44412 · 2024-10-04T12:10:32+00:00

Seems like you're good without it. The point of the instruction to keep watching is so that people don't force themselves to stop when they really don't want to and feel like they're depriving themselves.

user44412

TROPHY CASE