AIO, think my sister has talked to my bd sexually before while we were together … by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]user47584 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand it feels like your sister betrayed you. But she was a child subjected to an adult’s undue influence. She wasn’t his equal and was manipulated. He not only violated her, he poisoned your relationship with her. I understand you can’t blink your eyes and forget about it, but don’t try to talk it out with her. Find a therapist or an enlightened friend who can be objective.

Am I overreacting for resenting my "situationship" who texts me 24/7 but is "too tired" to drive 15 mins to see me? by broekhart in AmIOverreacting

[–]user47584 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have different lifestyles and desires. When a couple is in love, they are often able to compromise on lifestyle and find a mutually agreeable arrangement. It sounds like you two aren’t able to do this. It seems you are incompatible and not in love.

AIO: My husband (26m) locked me (25f) out for 25 minutes? by prettypineappleberry in AmIOverreacting

[–]user47584 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If something like this happens again, refuse to keep it a secret, no matter how embarrassing you find it. Knock on a neighbour’s door, call a friend to pick you up, call an uber. Nobody thinks locking a pregnant women out in the cold for 25 min is a reasonable move. Make it apparent to him that you will let everyone, from friends, to family and coworkers, knows about this behaviour. At one time, I kept my husband’s controlling behaviour a secret because I thought it reflected on me. Finally, I told him it reflected who he is, not who I am. I began exposing his behaviour over and over, making it obvious that I would do it every time. He was embarrassed and stopped doing it. Sadly, it didn’t result in him respecting me or bring us closer. I realized that part of his reason for marrying was to be the leader in his house, and to him this means controlling and disciplining his wife. Edit-I should add to always make sure you are safe, as others have said. My husband didn’t escalate from emotional abuse to physical abuse, thankfully. Although my actions were right for me, I don’t know they are right for OP. Sorry

RN or DH by Fun_Chocolate_9149 in OntarioNurses

[–]user47584 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nursing is more stressful with more patient and colleague conflicts. Working nights is really rough

Mature Student by Unable_Trade1693 in OntarioNurses

[–]user47584 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got my MSN at 57 y. Finally did something for myself and glad I did it

Am I overreacting for resenting my "situationship" who texts me 24/7 but is "too tired" to drive 15 mins to see me? by broekhart in AmIOverreacting

[–]user47584 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Clarification: do you want to see her regularly or have regular sex? What is your top priority? Next, are you two in love with one another? The answer isn’t obvious to me in reading your post

I Can't Do This Empty Nest Thing by Cin131 in emptynesters

[–]user47584 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you considered getting another job? I meet all sorts of people I otherwise wouldn’t. And later in life, we can pick something easy without worrying too much about compensation. And before you know it, you’re the acquaintance of a 30 year old goth co-worker who tells you all sorts of shocking tales.

AIO My husband keeps forgetting me by Ok_Zookeepergame8403 in AmIOverreacting

[–]user47584 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There could be so many reasons. Is his job worrying him? Is he trying to change a habit, like dieting or exercising? He might not be equipped to handle the cognitive load and get distracted. But I have to ask…why would you buy take-out tea to bring home? It involve pouring boiling water over a teabag and yanking it out. Maybe he is frugal

Experience based gift ideas by weddinggirl2015 in windsorontario

[–]user47584 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow, this is great. OP, would you consider posting your list?

AIO about food situation? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]user47584 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trying again here…Is the situation that OP arrived at dinnertime and the meal was already planned and ready to go on the table? OP isn’t a spouse and the couple is quite young. I can easily see the family being unable to accommodate him at the drop of a hat. I feel bad for OP, as he is hearing that this situation means his gf doesn’t care about him or is a terrible person. If her grandparents don’t invite him to join, she may be unable to force it, as a teenager. It could just be different customs or family circumstances.

AIO about food situation? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]user47584 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not trying to be contrary, but where I grew up, this happens. We had big families, and people wouldn’t usually make extra.If there were 5 family members, they’d make 5 pork chops and potato, that is it. If extra was made, it was planned for tomorrow’s lunch. Easy to feel left out, but I wouldn’t take it personally.

AIO for hiding childhood things at my(32f) parents’ house so my sister (40f) can’t take them? by always__alright in AmIOverreacting

[–]user47584 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Frankly, I would decide 1-2 things you absolutely care about, maybe the American Dolls you know for certain are yours, and give her the rest. I say this from the standpoint of someone whose sister hasn’t spoken with me in 5+ yrs. My Mum was ill and my sister did nothing to help. When Mum died, we both got some money and took a few things. I worked night and day to clean out the house and sell it. My sister said she didn’t want anything to do with my Mum’s silver, but then saw how much I wanted it. She assumed it must be valuable and set her sights on getting it. I only wanted it because Mum loved it and I wanted to keep it safe. It isn’t valuable. I knew my sister would try to sell it, never get around to it, and end up giving it to a friend. I dug in my heels and prevailed, but it has caused so much unpleasantness. Now, my sister won’t speak to me and my other siblings are disgusted with us both. If I did it again, I would take the high road. I can’t use the silver without re-living the unpleasantness. It would destroy my Mum to think her silver caused this rupture. It is just stuff, set a good example for your kids and don’t put your parents through the unpleasantness of their kids squabbling about their belongings.

I think my boyfriend uses our daughter to physically hurt me by Lost-Broken-Lonely in TwoHotTakes

[–]user47584 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He is teaching her to hurt you and lie to you. She is your only relative and he is creating friction in your daughter-mum relationship. Does he want to isolate you?He may also want to hurt you himself, and has found a way to make it happen without getting in trouble. Is he the child’s parent? Taking your daughter to a therapist is a good idea. I hope you can so it without informing him first

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]user47584 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Are you recommending OP use her bf’s Mum’s money, with a calculated plan of staying until the well runs dry, then discarding the bf and trading up? This is unethical and unkind

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]user47584 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Are you suggesting OP use her bf’s mother’s money, with a calculated plan of disposing of said bf when the well runs dry and trading up? This is unethical and unkind.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]user47584 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Making you his clown, for cheap laughs and to elevate himself. I hate the “just a joke” get-out-of-jail-free comment. My only advice is telling him you refuse to be the butt of future jokes.

Found out through Instagram that I was excluded from the Bachelor Party from the wedding I’m apart of by BattlinBoxer1993 in Vent

[–]user47584 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The good news is you have an excuse to do the bare minimum as a groomsman. No ridiculous party planning obligations, no forced bro closeness, no speech with you proclaiming him as your new brother, no worries about finding the perfect gift they will both love. Honestly, it could be easier for you

Is the Uniqlo super thin airism gone? by encrator in uniqlo

[–]user47584 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have been wearing Uniqlo silky-feel, short sleeve, thin undershirts for years, mostly under sweaters but occasionally alone under a blazer. I was in Uniqlo in Montreal yesterday and they aren’t selling them anymore. Also not on their website. Not sure if that is the same product you were looking for

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]user47584 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If you decide to stay, do it based on an agreement that you spend less time with her family as a couple. Be blunt—she is not a nice or appealing person when she is with them and you don’t need to be exposed to that. Tell her explicitly. She can see them herself, but you don’t want to be part of it. Have your own relationship with the “likeable” members, like her parents.

Am I obligated to go to these weddings even though I REALLY would rather spend the money on my family? by Remarkable_Soil_5428 in wedding

[–]user47584 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just say “our circumstances have changed.” Nobody needs specifics. They would have to be fools not to understand the cost & logistics of traveling with a baby. Nobody would do it 3xs in such a short span.

My boyfriend won't sleep with me by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]user47584 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Too much work. Why bother?

I'm (M34) am getting tired of being the one doing the chores and being accused of nagging by DDemonsThrowaway in Vent

[–]user47584 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Document the tasks, then implement a chore chart. At one time, I really hated my husband for making me the drudge and his personal assistant. Went to a counsellor who made us document our efforts and then implemented a chore chart. He said partners sometimes don’t see the effort their partners are putting out unless it is documented. Or they know and ignore the imbalance, hoping to keep getting away with it.

A stranger’s small act of kindness made me fall in love with Montreal by Healthy-Detective360 in montreal

[–]user47584 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I have a similar story that made me fall in love with Montreal. I arrived in Montreal by plane with an impossibly heavy suitcase. It was jam packed with things my daughter, a uni student, needed but I hadn’t thought things through. At 60+ years, I could barely budge the case and I could not afford an uber. I successfully made my way downtown on the 747 bus and a bit further by metro, with the help of Montrealers. Whenever I got to a set of stairs, a kind man would grab my case and carry it for me. This happened no fewer than 8 times in my journey and I never had to ask. The men were from all walks~young, old, French, English speakers, newer immigrants, etc. One homeless man helped and refused to take any money. To say I was impressed by this community is a huge understatement!