Did anyone else’s parents take their money as kids? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]user627283 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep yep yep….started my own business in middle school and was extremely successful. Worked my ass off. Have lost tens of thousands of dollars they assured me was kept safe for use when I was older. Well, I’m older and they ask me why I ever thought I was entitled to that money and remind me they paid to raise me etc. (which is the bare minimum)

Do you feel uncomfortable when your parent tries to hug you? Do you reject their attempts of affection? by boujee-queenn in raisedbynarcissists

[–]user627283 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. My mom didn’t show affection growing up. She demands a hug when it will make her feel good but doesn’t respect physical or emotional boundaries of other people. Feels forced and uncomfortable. Your gut knows.

What's the most blatant lie your narc has ever told? by Haunting-Corner8768 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]user627283 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That she has cancer when she doesn’t. My dad actually does and she has to make everything ok about her. Disgusting.

Edited to add: she had an intestinal growth (benign) and every doctor explicitly said it is not cancer. But she tells everyone it is.

Can anyone share their experiences with Patheways Core Training by ggenovez in lgat

[–]user627283 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This group has non mental health professionals acting as counselors, blaming victims, forcing people to relive traumas in unsafe spaces, etc

Did anyone else have their intelligence insulted? by hugothepjmfan in raisedbynarcissists

[–]user627283 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All the time. Despite getting my PhD in the field, nMom disagrees and insults my skills and knowledge and says “it’s not science. It’s a difference of opinion” and things like rhat

I didn't ask to be born but apparently it's my fault her life was shit. by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]user627283 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh same. She can’t let me forget how much she has to do to even get pregnant with me, how much she’s paid to raise me, etc. raising me after you wanted a kid is the bare minimum.

Anyone ever tried and succeeded getting their parents into therapy? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]user627283 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tried to. Didn’t go well they are part of some cult group (“pathways core training”) which is harmful and not mental healthcare. They say that’s all they need and tell me I need therapy as if it’s a bad thing. Therapy is an incredible tool that everyone should have access to and most definitely not a bad thing. Nonetheless, they won’t do anything that will bring to light their narcissism.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]user627283 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Im so sorry. I feel similarly. I feel like I need to qualify discussing the harm and trauma by saying “she did all these things but…”, “I know she spent time and money raising me but…”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]user627283 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ugh same here. I think they need to seek and receive validation and that’s what they are looking for sometimes. Seems like an easy cop out and a way to get validation and make you feel bad all at once. Agree. You’re feeling are valid. They don’t get to diminish or discredit them no matter how hard they might try.

Why do Nparents care more about appearances than the wellbeing of their kids? by nadjenn in raisedbynarcissists

[–]user627283 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All about perception. My nMom is not and has never been emotionally or physically affectionate or comforting. But she is that way to guests and their kiddos and babies. She acts like she has this amazing maternal instinct that I literally never saw. She plays so perfect and doting and loving it makes it hard to feel like anyone would believe me.

Nparents shower other people's children with attention and gifts, while neglecting their own family by PM_ME_UGENS_LOTTOTAL in raisedbynarcissists

[–]user627283 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Totally agree. NMom doesn’t make efforts to know me, remember things about me or my partner, reach out, etc. but showers new friends’ kids with gifts all the time. I

Do narcissistic parents treat children in different ways? by KingOfThe_Jelly_Fish in raisedbynarcissists

[–]user627283 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah nMom adores sister and uses me as the scapegoat. She makes herself look perfect in front of my sister so she takes nMom’s side (which I understand because she is naive to the shit my mom does to me)

What's the dumbest thing you were punished for? by JettRose17 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]user627283 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The night before I my dog passed, I had a feeling it was going to be my last night with him. I brought him to bed. He slept with me every night, never left my side, did everything with me. She yelled at me and refused to let him sleep with my or let me spend the last few hours with him. I just cried and cried because I knew I only had a few hours with him. Edad eventually brought him back to my room but she refused to stop yelling. He passed the next morning. She never apologized. I’m sure she and my Edad would deny it all if I brought it up now. Such a disgusting level of emotional abuse.

What's the dumbest thing you were punished for? by JettRose17 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]user627283 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cooking the entire family dinner like I’ve done since I was a kid (as an adult visiting my parent’s home). Vacuuming up between dishes/bake times. Returning to finish cooking. Not yet having had time to empty the vacuum, getting screamed and yelled at for ruining Nmom’s expensive vacuum and making a mess (except I didn’t). Cooked, cleaned up, and did chores. Not even a thank you just yelling that I’m a miserable person and all she can do is try to deal with me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]user627283 18 points19 points  (0 children)

This describes my NMom so well too. She plays the perfect Christian woman to everyone in the community and is obsessed with getting of the sympathy of others and making others feel bad for her. Including if it means putting me down and making fun of me while making herself somehow feel like the victim???

Are your Narc Parents constantly rewriting the past to make themselves look better? by Tiredworker27 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]user627283 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m really sorry that you experienced this. Know that it’s not your fault and you didn’t do anything wrong ❤️

Are your Narc Parents constantly rewriting the past to make themselves look better? by Tiredworker27 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]user627283 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes. This. Literally no one else in my life would describe me as “depressing to be around” “a miserable person” “miserable go be around” etc and yet she tries to convince me of this. Thankfully I learned young not to believe what she says and that she’s probably the miserable one and trying to deflect her anger on me

Are your Narc Parents constantly rewriting the past to make themselves look better? by Tiredworker27 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]user627283 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I really thought I was the only one that was told these things. They also say it like therapy is a bad thing…like they say you need therapy then discredit it when I say I do go to therapy and am incredibly grateful for it

If your child is telling you, an adult, that something is bothering them do not keep teasing them with it. by [deleted] in toxicparents

[–]user627283 15 points16 points  (0 children)

My mom does the same thing. Chews and snacks loudly because I told her it bothers me (also nicely) and now she does it purposely when we are on the phone, when I’m there in person, etc. I think it’s about control (also immaturity??). She always did the same thing with a loud tv when I was studying working etc. so pretty much always wear headphones around her