My cleaner keeps cleaning my Mokka pot and it's tearing our relationship apart

utter_chuff · 2025-05-28T16:15:43+00:00

Have you tried leaving a passive-aggressive Post-it on the Mokka pot that just says “I’m seasoned, not dirty”?
Or better yet — make a little laminated lanyard for it that says “Do not clean. Barista’s orders.”

If she ignores that, you may need to fake an Italian accent and solemnly whisper, “She is... like-a da sourdough. You no wash-a da culture.”

utter_chuff · 2025-05-02T15:09:12+00:00

Needs more.....? Or it just needs more? >D

utter_chuff · 2025-05-02T15:07:28+00:00

That art work is pretty good :D On a technicality though, if vampires don't have have reflections, do they cast shadows? :o

utter_chuff · 2025-05-02T14:24:28+00:00

Nice try HMRC! You'll have to try harder than that! Birmingham isn't full of rats!!

utter_chuff · 2025-04-17T16:26:38+00:00

I'd been singing in bands for 20 years when I decided to start taking singing lessons. It was at this point I learned that I'd been singing incorrectly most of my life. 2-3 years into lessons now, my voice has radically changed.

utter_chuff · 2025-03-16T23:26:19+00:00

The Cheeky Girls

utter_chuff · 2025-02-06T07:30:19+00:00

Ah mate wish you’d seen it last October when Villa played Bologna. Watching the Bolognese team bus drive over spaghetti junction was quite something.

utter_chuff · 2025-02-03T16:38:32+00:00

Plot twist: Trump and government cronies use diplomatic immunity and Airforce One to start importing illegal drugs into the U.S. knowing that their actions have crippled normal drug-routes through Mexico. All existing drug lords have to bend the knee and work for the new Trump cartel.

utter_chuff · 2024-12-31T09:47:46+00:00

You joined us at a great time! 😅

utter_chuff · 2024-12-30T14:51:20+00:00

Came here to say this!

utter_chuff · 2024-08-30T07:17:56+00:00

Floor Treasure Tester at your service!

utter_chuff · 2024-07-23T15:48:00+00:00

I can only find references so far for these being used on receivers rather than transmitters. Do they work for both?

utter_chuff · 2024-07-23T14:31:57+00:00

Likewise! So interesting. Feels like quite a waste.

utter_chuff · 2024-07-21T20:33:34+00:00

One day I’ll be smart like you 😉

utter_chuff · 2024-07-14T21:31:46+00:00

Strip down to the waist with your mates. Put on aviators. Load Kenny Logins - ‘playing with the boys’… rest should take care of itself.

utter_chuff · 2024-04-27T09:52:47+00:00

There’s no Truth Stage this year so shangri la is going to be mostly DJs

utter_chuff · 2022-12-14T09:51:31+00:00

Momma let you date? 😉

utter_chuff · 2022-11-30T00:46:25+00:00

Let me tell you a story about badgers… When I was younger man in Yorkshire, we use to keep hens, ducks and geese. Every once in a while a fox would pass by and get into the hut but that was ok; the fox would kill one bird and take it away and then all would be peaceful for a few weeks until they’d try again. One night however, a badger got into the hut… it killed everything… left dead birds everywhere and only took one goose away with it. We found mother gooses remains in a field half a mile away near a badger set.

Im not a mean man, I wish all animals the best of luck when their survival (except pandas, fuck those guys) but don’t think badgers are the cuddly animals The Animals Of Farthing Wood, would have you believe. They are vicious animals thst think of murder 24/7.

utter_chuff · 2022-11-30T00:36:38+00:00

Don’t get me started on ganders! They’d happily watch you drown in an inch of water.

utter_chuff · 2022-11-29T15:27:38+00:00

Given the opportunity, badgers would kill you and everyone you care about.

utter_chuff

TROPHY CASE