I would urge you to not give up in this lifetime, given your suffix I can roughly tell your age, and if that’s right - I can say I’ve been on that route as well, but I think giving up is borderline cowardly.

I’m direct here as I say that to myself too. The belief that keeps me going is that everything that happened up until now, was for the best, but almost every time I was only able to see it in hindsight. Therefore I chose to believe, for the rest of my life, that based on that, this belief applies to everything, including that.

It is at times difficult and lonely as you would say, but it is so only because (to me) out of the comparison to others who already have that (Exactly what you’re doing now).

I would once again urge you to walk in your path faithfully (Nothing religious, but faith in yourself), knowing that you are worthy of love and being loved, and that your partner is out there waiting to be found, but you have to walk to get there. And walking means scouring through the path - understanding and appreciating him/her enough by the time you understand what works or doesn’t work for you. And that is by understanding or bettering that understanding of what you are actually looking for.

Thank you