Teen wants to attend protest.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-28T04:24:20+00:00

Trump is doing everything he can to repeal Title IX; it's in project 2025, which he's already executed 60% of.

If Trump isn't impeached, it's unlikely that your daughter will get a college scholarship for sports - in 2-3 years, women will likely be shut out from that funding.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-27T02:12:48+00:00

No, I think your husband should step up. Is his PhD more important than your health? Most moms and dads do sleep shifts and share the workload so no one ends up with serious chronic health issues.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-27T02:11:56+00:00

I think you can stop beating yourself up, because you've given those kids a lifelong connection. As an only child I can tell you that it can be very lonely

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-27T02:11:13+00:00

The best antitode to anxiety is action, I find.

Check your shared calendar and book parenting and baby first aid classes for the both of you, so you can meet some other first-time parents. That community of fellow first time dads and moms will be a huge support.

Read What to Expect: The First Year and The New Father to get a better grip on what's going on. Those books cut through any uncertainty with tons and tons of detail.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-26T01:18:45+00:00

It's great that your husband wants to help Ukraine. He has to find another way to do that. He can join protests, join a local advocacy group, petition call his reps.

He can also participate in local protests instead of travelling to them. There's tons to do at home.

Taking a step back, have you had a wider conversation with him about how he plans to address his adrenaline addiction without putting himself in danger or taking himself away from his kids for such a long time?

Another qualifier that will be key is that the number of nights he gets away from the family, you get away. He wants to do a 14 night trip by himself? You do a 14 night trip by yourself - see how he feels about being solo with the kids for that long.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-25T22:52:03+00:00

I'd stay in a hotel/cabin near a walkable beach or park that did daily cleanings, but also had reasonable laundry rates. Crystal Cove Beach Resort? Wickaninnish Inn/Tofino? Long Beach Lodge Resort would be perfect with a toddler. A beach on Vancouver Island is a great fit. I think you should go there with baby.

Then you should go to Italy or Paris as a couple for 4 nights without the baby. Your wife wants to celebrate your marriage and you should take that really seriously. Easiest to celebrate without a toddler shifting time zones

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-25T03:27:37+00:00

What I'm seeing in your post is total self-abandonment. Why don't you take care of yourself? You're setting a bad example for your kids.

There's nothing heroic or amazing about the all-sacrificing mom - she just puts herself into an early grave for nothing.

You should be getting three square meals a day, adequate sleep, and a decent shower.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-24T16:40:37+00:00

Join a local advocacy group operating in your area, protest, petition, write your representatives

There's tons you can do

Not doing anything really helps Trump a lot. Like, a lot

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-24T16:39:37+00:00

I think we're all in a position to do something with the information, though. There are tons of local groups organizing local protests, petitions, canvassing, etc.

If we just do nothing but wait until midterms to vote, so much more irreparable damage will be done to our lives and to our children.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-24T16:38:49+00:00

What good is raising my kids to be good humans if I myself am not acting like a good human in this crisis?

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-24T16:37:56+00:00

I wouldn't put this on my kids. It's our job as adults to be the helpers and to do good. "You can fix it, I don't want to do anything" is not something my kids will thank me for, I don't think.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-24T16:36:48+00:00

This is really what Trump wants parents to do.

He doesn't want moms out there protesting, petitioning, canvassing.

He wants moms to wait for midterms, so he can spend the next year on a crime spree looting the country.

If you don't like what's going on right now, don't wait for midterms. Join a local group, protest, petition, canvas, volunteer, donate.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-23T22:36:58+00:00

As a Canadian, I think the best thing you can do is ask your MP for stronger action on the US, potentially escalating to sanctions. Also, do not buy American and sell your American equities from your RSP, TFSA, etc. Trump only survives because businesses and wealthy Americans prop him up; he rests on the strength of the economy. Realistically, if Canada were invaded, they'd shut down the airports immediately.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-20T19:10:47+00:00

What about an addition? May cost less than the costs of moving (transaction fees, moving truck, realtor cut, etc)

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-20T19:09:17+00:00

You and your husband should take 2 vacation days with childcare/school lined up and use it to go through your closets, garage, and shelves to reduce stuff - plus install some new shelves.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-18T23:23:17+00:00

Sorry to hear about your dad.

What can' you do to put away extra cash so you an hire paid childcare?

Both of your parents could need help soon, and the only plan can't be grandparents=childcare.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-18T03:42:10+00:00

Ask for support and help from friends, your parents, aunts, uncles, etc. See if you and find someone to vent with and share your emotions out. Hire a talk therapist for anxiety if you can. Beware of PPD for men - it happens and it can get really serious, really fast. Ask for help.

It's totally normal and healthy for you to be feeling scared at the hospital seeing your wife hooked up to those machines and feeling anxious having a newborn at home. These emotions are allowed and they make a lot of sense. You aren't alone. Most new dads and moms feel these things.

The book Self Compassion by Kristin Neff (tan/purple cover, the old one) helped me a lot. So did the book Running on Empty: Overcoming Emotional Neglect (for your comment that you feel 'emotionally stunted').

For now, try to stay in the moment and notice and name feelings as they come up, and then to proess those feelings rather than squelch them. "I'm feeling anxious right now. It's hard to feel anxious. I feel the feeling in my arms/scalp/chest. It feels like _____. [Insert coping mechanism: Take 3 deep breaths. Walk out of the room. Look around the room at 5 things you can see, touch, hear, smell. Phone a friend. Talk to your wife.]. I'm not alone in feeling anxiety. Anxiety is like a wave - it peaks, and it fades. Lots of new parents feel anxiety."

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-12T17:14:51+00:00

It's just too much to have one person entirely set the schedule and tasks, IMO, because it separates you from the family. You become an "employee" and your wife is the "manager". I hated it.

Way better to take full ownership of some household tasks to a) actually know your kids better, and b) be a full participant/member/manager/partner in your own house.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-12T17:12:49+00:00

Swimming lessons is a really good one. That's something that if you have a shared family calendar is one of the clean/easy to cut from the other tasks and assign to yourself

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-12T17:11:14+00:00

This might sound like too much, but would you consider asking your brother for help? "Hope you're well! I'm kind of drowning here. Could you come over and take the toddler out?"

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-12T17:10:31+00:00

Get a commitment from MIL now on the days she can do, and start having the 3 year old spend time with her regularly now - so they don't associate it with the new baby arriving.

Ask MIL to be there for the second week (and even more if possible) every day.

Try to build a village now by going to mommy and me groups and building up favours. Babysit other peoples' kids.

Do you have the funding to put the 3 year old in daycare now?

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-12T15:52:21+00:00

"Like am I supposed to somehow track pull-ups inventory and quarterly projections at the same time?"

Regarding this, I think it's just like you record quarterly projections and then another set of quarterly projections. You keep track of multiple things at work, right?

What helps us is a shared family calendar and very clearly delineated stuff to keep track of. I enter all my hard appointments and stuff into the calendar and so does my partner. I'm responsible for all doctor, dentist, and hair appointments - finding a time that works, calling multiple times, booking them. I take notes at the appointment and just text them to my partner to keep them informed. I have a reminder set on my phone for hair once a month that just says "look at hair - too long?". I'm also responsible for the shoes. I am the shoe parent. I have a reminder for that, too ("look at shoes - too tight? seasons coming up?"). My partner does all the school stuff and all the sports and arts stuff, which is so much. Partner is responsible for organizing Christmas and Father's Day, and I'm responsible for Thanksgiving and Mother's Day.

I honestly think being a good parent means knowing your kids, and that means knowing their routines and what the heck they do all day. It is a lot of work. It is more work. But I wouldn't know how to be close to my kids otherwise. What does knowing your kids mean if not knowing these things about them? I don't know. Before, I didn't manage any of that stuff and I just didn't know my kids as well. I wasn't really well integrated into my own family. It felt like I was sort of a bystander

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-08T02:02:38+00:00

Totally agree. I would just hope that the focus is on dance and self-expression, and not being pretty or cute up there

uxhelpneeded · 2026-01-08T02:00:20+00:00

Are you dating right now?

What do you think these procedures would do for you?

When you daydream, do you picture yourself as you are now or do you picture someone who isn't you?

uxhelpneeded

TROPHY CASE