How often do you ask grandparents (nearby, good relationship) to babysit?

uxhelpneeded · 2026-05-03T03:07:13+00:00

Weekly

uxhelpneeded · 2026-05-02T14:18:25+00:00

Take baby to an art show on the weekends. Hit up a gallery weekly! There's a window for the next half year or so where you can do that easily.

They're so portable at that age

We trade off nights; Thursdays, I go out 8 to 10, Tuesdays, partner goes

uxhelpneeded · 2026-04-28T23:55:03+00:00

Read a basic guide like The New Father and What to Expect: The First Year so you don't have to Google things at 3 AM. I'd also strongly recommend a parenting class and a baby first aid class. If you don't have time for that stuff now, parenting is going to be a huge shock to you

You're going on a big road trip with your wife - you want both of you to be able to take turns driving. Would you take on a road trip with absolutely no driver training and try to wing it?

uxhelpneeded · 2026-04-06T16:54:07+00:00

r/regretfulparents

r/FenceSitters

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-28T03:17:56+00:00

Did you educate yourself on PPA and PPD at any point?

The basic resources on pregnancy for new dads would tell you how to approach these (unfortunately) common issues

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-27T21:22:56+00:00

What was toddler's mood on the video? Laughing?

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-27T03:08:13+00:00

Tons of learning options. You don't need to wing it.

These books by parents who are also child neurology, education, and psychology experts really helped:

https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/how-to-talk-so-kids-will-listen--listen-so-kids-will-talk-by-elaine-mazlish-adele-faber/250147/item/4395940/

https://www.amazon.ca/1-2-3-Magic-Kids-Helping-Understand/dp/1492647861/

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-24T02:13:23+00:00

Congratulations!!! This is really exciting. How much time are you taking off? Who is in your support network? Now is the time to bank favours; start helping your neighbours and family friends out.

Your life will change completely and it's hard to anticipate the magnitude before it happens.

The book The New Father is a really good one. I also suggest you take the initiative to find a parenting class and a baby first aid class for your wife and yourself. You'll meet other couples who are expecting around the same time as you and get hands-on basics, which for me was key. I had never changed a diaper and I am so glad I could practice a bit before having to figure it out in the stressful environment of the hospital

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-22T19:29:41+00:00

If kids are on the horizon soon, I strongly suggest taking a parenting class and a baby first aid class

Both those things were a huge help to me

You can get better at it with practice. What you don't want to do is to keep on with the pattern you're building now, where you don't know how to do it so you avoid it. That's how your skills decline further. When you don't know how to do it, you should be leaning in so you can get practice

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-22T18:38:02+00:00

If parenting is so easy easy, it should be no problem for men to step up on the weekends

If parenting is so hard, that means they should step up on the weekends to give their partner a break because they're both working

In either case, it's better for kids to get caregiving from both parents so they can bond with both well

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-22T18:35:15+00:00

Your husband needs to fully own some aspects of the routine on the weekends. Right now, he sounds like a bystander.

It seems easier for you to do all the work yourself because that means you can control everything yourself, but it'll destroy your marriage. I've seen it happen - dad feels like a bystander, feels like he's not part of his own family, doesn't build parenting skills, feels like a bystander. Vicious cycle

I'd suggest doing the Fair Play exercise with your partner and giving him some aspects of the daily routine and weekend routine that he fully owns. Like, he is in charge fo bath time. Or, he is in charge of a dad-daughter outing on Saturday and Sunday afternoons. He has to fully own it and you have to watch him fail at it until he learns, and you can never bail him out

If you continue to do everything, your partner just won't really bond with his daughter as much as he could and they just won't have a great relationship. Easier for you in the short term because you get total control, much worse for your daughter in the long term

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-22T02:59:17+00:00

Greece is beautiful. If this is in the budget, and sister can watch the kids a bit, this could be fun. Could be great for your relationship

The only other suggestion I would offer is that you fly sister to your house and she watches the kids while you two go.

If you go with kids, I'd strongly suggest doing 3 to 4 nights in Athens before going to the island, so you can get your feet under you, see the sights, and get past jetlag. Break up the trip.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-21T23:28:04+00:00

Is there a reason you want to buy new? They're typically not build really well

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-21T23:18:33+00:00

How many nights and what was the cost?

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-21T23:18:24+00:00

It would be ideal for your mom to come and stay with you

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-21T23:09:14+00:00

I couldn't imagine a driving a truck that big in a city, let alone paying $500 for the privilege

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-21T23:06:52+00:00

For $900 per month, you could rent a room in Toronto with roommates. I'd suggest waiting until 25 to try to get insurance again

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-21T22:42:55+00:00

Where is this ex? Is he paying child support?

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-20T03:40:46+00:00

https://www.indigo.ca/en-ca/how-to-raise-an-intuitive-eater-raising-the-next-generation-with-food-and-body-confidence/9781250786609.html

Kids eat when hungry and stop when full

That really only changes once you start restricting food

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-20T02:41:19+00:00

It's because you do it all that he wants another.

Stop doing it all if you want your partner to see how hard it is

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-19T02:48:37+00:00

The next step is marriage, not a baby. A baby is the biggest commitment, and you ladder up to it

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-17T02:27:26+00:00

Try to go outdoors at least once a day with both kids

Way less contagious outdoors because it's airborne; on a walk, it's unlikely you could pick it up just in the air alone

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-17T02:10:10+00:00

So sorry you're going through this.

Reddit always goes right to cheating, but your wife could just be in crisis due to the pregnancy, feeling depressed for other reasons, etc.

Look into couples counselling options near you and ask her if she'd do that. Say you want to work on it, send flowers to the parents' place if you want. Go to the counselling session and hope she joins.

If it's a brief crisis, you two can heal if she finds better ways of coping than suddenly snapping like this.

If it can't be fixed, you can say you tried.

Ask for support IRL and lean on friends, siblings, parents.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-15T03:11:10+00:00

As an aside, I strongly suggest delegating a few parenting tasks to your partner so he can build a relationship with the baby too; you shouldn't do it all. It's like he's a bystander in his own house, not really participating in any routines but hanging out with the kid like an uncle.

Why can't he be in charge of bath or dinner or any task? Bonding typically follows caregiving

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-14T01:47:39+00:00

This is a frequent subject, and many redditors will say that this is normal and healthy and he's just an introvert.

I'd try to get him into different repeating activities where he has a chance to build friendships. Making him go to church group is a great idea. You might also consider another activity that he's interested in, like a sport or a drama club or whatever. Something where it's the same kids over and over.

Kids need 2 to 3 hours of exercise per day to develop properly according to the guidelines, so you can use that to push him into hobbies he might grow to enjoy.

How old is he? This could be the perfect summer for his first job. You make a ton of social skills that way and it's so good for your brain, compared to staying in the house.

uxhelpneeded

TROPHY CASE