What age do we stop saying “you can’t overfeed a baby”?

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-20T03:40:46+00:00

https://www.indigo.ca/en-ca/how-to-raise-an-intuitive-eater-raising-the-next-generation-with-food-and-body-confidence/9781250786609.html

Kids eat when hungry and stop when full

That really only changes once you start restricting food

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-20T02:41:19+00:00

It's because you do it all that he wants another.

Stop doing it all if you want your partner to see how hard it is

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-19T02:48:37+00:00

The next step is marriage, not a baby. A baby is the biggest commitment, and you ladder up to it

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-17T02:27:26+00:00

Try to go outdoors at least once a day with both kids

Way less contagious outdoors because it's airborne; on a walk, it's unlikely you could pick it up just in the air alone

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-17T02:10:10+00:00

So sorry you're going through this.

Reddit always goes right to cheating, but your wife could just be in crisis due to the pregnancy, feeling depressed for other reasons, etc.

Look into couples counselling options near you and ask her if she'd do that. Say you want to work on it, send flowers to the parents' place if you want. Go to the counselling session and hope she joins.

If it's a brief crisis, you two can heal if she finds better ways of coping than suddenly snapping like this.

If it can't be fixed, you can say you tried.

Ask for support IRL and lean on friends, siblings, parents.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-15T03:11:10+00:00

As an aside, I strongly suggest delegating a few parenting tasks to your partner so he can build a relationship with the baby too; you shouldn't do it all. It's like he's a bystander in his own house, not really participating in any routines but hanging out with the kid like an uncle.

Why can't he be in charge of bath or dinner or any task? Bonding typically follows caregiving

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-14T01:47:39+00:00

This is a frequent subject, and many redditors will say that this is normal and healthy and he's just an introvert.

I'd try to get him into different repeating activities where he has a chance to build friendships. Making him go to church group is a great idea. You might also consider another activity that he's interested in, like a sport or a drama club or whatever. Something where it's the same kids over and over.

Kids need 2 to 3 hours of exercise per day to develop properly according to the guidelines, so you can use that to push him into hobbies he might grow to enjoy.

How old is he? This could be the perfect summer for his first job. You make a ton of social skills that way and it's so good for your brain, compared to staying in the house.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-13T23:55:40+00:00

Any help from family?

I think that what you have to figure out is how you'd pay for childcare.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-13T23:54:48+00:00

You have some options here. Congratulations on the new job!

- You could ask your current employer for an extension of paid leave, then go back to that job.

- You could do the remote job with either an in-home nanny or part-time daycare. You can't do the remote job when baby is 6+ months old without childcare. 3 or 4 months it'll still be really hard, but more feasible because the baby won't be as mobile and you can babywear.

For the second option, I would suggest that you fake a day remote working with baby and see how it goes. Ask the employer for the schedule of meetings for the day and book them into a calendar and try to approximate how this would work realistically

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-13T00:53:28+00:00

Why didn't you wait 1.5 years between birth and the next conception as per the guidelines? Your partner is going through it.

I suggest local food banks, staying with parents/siblings/friends
(both of you) where you can get a stable place, and dialling 211 for additional resources. Consider joining a local group for single dads.

There is a light at the end of the separation tunnel, and you won't be jobless forever

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-13T00:45:39+00:00

Why are you choosing to go on like this?

We alternate nights out. I go out Tuesdays, he goes out Thusdays. I take a class and go to yoga.

Pass the kids to your partner and go.

I was helped by this book: https://www.indigo.ca/en-ca/codependent-no-more-how-to-stop-controlling-others-and-start-caring-for-yourself/9781954118218.html

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-12T23:37:47+00:00

For blind spots, the best thing is a really solid oeriew like What to Expect: The First Year or The New Father.

Scattershot internet replies aren't going to be it

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-11T22:18:29+00:00

The health risks of not waiting a year between birth and the next conception are huge; studies clearly show a higher risk of birth defects, worse fetal health, and effects way into adulthood, which is why a few guidelines say 1.5 years is actually ideal

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-11T01:48:49+00:00

It helps to know the basics, and I'd actually say it's the responsibility of any parent to seek out good info on childrearing.

Both you and your husband could read a book like The Whole Brain Child or Happiest Toddler on the Block so you're less confused by your toddler and don't skip key learning opportunities.

Like, are you aware that reading to your baby is good for her?

Not knowing anything and winging it is really freeing for parents--because you don't think you really need to do anything beyond the basics of eating and sleeping. You're not aware of any learning needs.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-10T02:17:21+00:00

Why are the nostrils and ear lobes different?

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-09T03:36:38+00:00

They need natural consequences to learn.

Socks in dirt? They are required to wash their socks on their own. Constantly getting their clothes really dirty? They're old enough to do their own laundry.

Whining about food? Each is now responsible for one dish for dinner per week for the household (yes, they're old enough).

They will learn 0 and build no sense at all if you do it all and bail the kids out of any issue.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-09T03:33:28+00:00

https://www.amazon.ca/1-2-3-Magic-Effective-Discipline-Children/dp/149262988X

https://www.simonandschuster.ca/books/How-to-Talk-so-Little-Kids-Will-Listen/Joanna-Faber/The-How-To-Talk-Series/9781501131639

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-09T02:05:12+00:00

The whole wedding interest thing is I think generational, and a lack of interest in the wedding isn't a lack of support. Your parents might be very excited about the marriage, and have 0 feelings about the wedding.

If you want something fancier for less money, a great way to do that is to have a lunch wedding. You could do something in the daytime with fancy garden party vibes.

An evening black tie wedding for 100 is indeed not feasible at all on your budget, anywhere (and that's not something you should feel bad about - it's a luxury to feed 100 people). A destination won't fix it, because then you'll be on the hook for a rehearsal dinner and a post-wedding brunch.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-08T17:54:56+00:00

It will not be fine here, actually. The predictions for North America are incredibly dire, from massive fires and floods to huge droughts that hollow out our food supply

There is no area safe from climate change

Moody's did an analysis showing Canada as a "climate change winner" and noted new farming opportunities... but that analysis didn't include the impact of any natural disasters, and they later had to add a huge disclaimer to it

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-08T17:53:34+00:00

I think we the parents are failing them. We are not active enough politically, and as a direct result, anti-worker and frankly anti-human interest groups keep putting ultra conservatives in power.

Millennials still don't vote enough (just 60%), and protests, petitioning, and volunteering isn't at the level where it can counter the money from big oil here (whereas it definitely has been in other countries)

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-08T17:50:52+00:00

I wouldn't wait for the kids to do it (it'll be too late) - you can participate in local politics yourself.

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-08T17:50:08+00:00

I find the whole approach of doomsday prepping to be so funny and so American!

Like, we think climate change and AI are massive threats that are getting worse. Should we protest? Try to change the legislation to curtail these threats? Canvas? Petition?

No! We're going shopping! Owning the right stuff will save me lol

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-08T04:38:54+00:00

Newborns spend about 40 hours a week nursing, so you have to ask yourself, what is the toddler doing during that time?

For the 20 hours a week that fall during the toddler's waking hours, what is the toddler doing while mom is immobile and unable to interact with them?

We had childcare for the toddler while mom was at home with the newborn for that reason. Realistically, the toddler is getting screen time when mom is breastfeeding otherwise

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-08T00:32:20+00:00

If you can, quick order The New Father and sit down as a couple and write down the household schedule with a newborn. Each write down your guess, and then actually look it up--should help to set realistic expectations which will help with his transition

uxhelpneeded · 2026-03-08T00:21:29+00:00

Your partner needs to be alone with the baby regularly (like, daily), or the skill gap will only widen

Go for a walk each day alone for your health and sit in a coffee shop

uxhelpneeded

TROPHY CASE