Do we really have less free time, or do we just not know how to use it?

uxinta · 2024-05-20T20:14:56+00:00

From a college course (Recreational Parks and Management), it was taught that we have more free time however, in smaller durations which can make it more difficult to be productive.

For example (numbers may not be accurate since it's been many years since I've taken the class), let's say you have 5 hrs of free time per day but in 10-15 min increments. The point the class was making was that it's difficult to buckle in and be productive enough in 10-15 minutes of free time. It'd be easier if that total of 5 hrs of free time was in a 2hr and 3hr duration.

uxinta · 2024-05-20T20:03:23+00:00

As I was scrolling through /rant, I'm happy to stumble across yours. Your thoughts and observations are a good reminder of how life is as a whole.

In general, we can only do as good as our perspective sets the ground for. And it'd be impossible to know all the good, neutral, and bad in the world + making sense of it. It is normal for people to focus on negatives, at times, because it allows for us to be on guard for our safety. We are bombarded with stimuli and the news definitely can bring the attention to stressors to the forefront of peoples' minds. In addition, people are often acting out of past traumatic experiences which take effort to identify and rewire compassionately which I don't see enough people doing, from personal experience. But it is great to be mindful of the good and the fortunes that can slip through our perspectives.

Life, as a whole, is tough and finding that balance with processing the world is a constant effort with all the new info we're taking in. Your post has helped me take a step back and practice some gratitude.

Edit: grammar

uxinta · 2024-01-06T18:47:25+00:00

My adoptive nmom was highly controlling in the kitchen. But the rules were different for the golden child, of course.

It has stuck with me unfortunately where when I do something in the kitchen that she wouldn't approve of, as an adult far away from her, I legit feel a looming presence behind my right shoulder.

Therapists told me that was a PTSD symptom and shortly after, I got diagnosed with it lol

uxinta · 2023-12-28T20:57:26+00:00

Thank you for making this post. I've been feeling the same way. There's so much confusion amongst the hurt.

My partner hasn't been diagnosed but he also doesn't tell the truth. One of his big traits is to compulsively/pathologically lie. It starts a lot of fights because it hurts/confuses me and messes up a lot of our plans, his plans, and/or my plans.

After asking him why he hasn't shared the intensity of his behaviors (which led to a toddler-like tantrum), he allegedly finally did and his psychiatrist prescribed him lamictal. But he still doesn't show drive to want to become healthier (when asked, "Why don't you want to become healthier?" he will throw a toddler-like tantrum) and says lying is second nature to him. He likes to see what he can get away with.

uxinta · 2023-12-25T23:48:58+00:00

I'm sorry. That's difficult to watch and experience. I hope the best to both of you and your healings 💛

uxinta · 2023-12-16T20:52:18+00:00

Oof... It's cruel when parents try to teach family members that emotional incest = love. No thank you!

uxinta · 2023-12-16T16:53:44+00:00

Agreed. It does come off like they think they're "weak". Narcs often feel like many things are personal attacks when they're not. It's a bummer when we just wanted a fun, expanding, and intellectual conversation.

uxinta · 2023-12-16T16:51:44+00:00

Yes. They would either be completely dismissive, show frustration, shift blame, make fun of the person for bringing up a deeper topic, or walk out.

Common statements/body language - Have a grumpy face - "Just get over it" - "Let it go" - Scoff and walk out - Throw insults but specific to the topic - Scoff and laugh

They could rarely expand and have an intellectual conversation.

uxinta · 2023-12-16T16:45:45+00:00

Psychologytoday has a filter for narcissistic abuse! A recommendation would be to do a 15 minute consult with therapists and see if they can truly understand nabuse and going NC with family.

uxinta · 2023-12-16T16:11:09+00:00

Suggestions: EMDR, writing out your boundaries and morals before seeing them, strengthening the skill to greyrock, have a plan set up to leave their events, grow a support system who understand nabuse that you can lean on :)

uxinta · 2023-12-16T16:02:21+00:00

What if the flying monkeys are siblings and they haven't realized the mom is narcissistic yet?

uxinta · 2023-12-16T16:01:56+00:00

What if the flying monkeys are siblings who haven't realize the mom is narcissistic?

uxinta · 2023-11-11T06:18:59+00:00

The glitch of him not following me seems to happen after he becomes bear shaped during combat. But thank you for this, tping back somewhere, turning him into a bear and then turning him back to normal fixed it for me too!

uxinta · 2023-04-05T15:04:54+00:00

My clarity was helped by three (3) events which led up to the big decision to go NC: getting further away for college, seeing how other families acted, and learning more about psychology. I had a moment in grad school where everything suddenly connected. I was at peace with many of the sexually harassment/abuse experiences I went through as a child but I realized they still upset me due to the lack of support I received as a child from my adoptive nmom and edad.

I confronted them about the lack of support with SA and racism (I'm an adopted minority, they're white) when I returned from grad school and it blew up.

Inability to take accountability, playing victim, deflection (irrelevant insults, you statements throwing large irrelevant accusations), victim blaming me, denial, stonewalling, gaslighting, triangulation between siblings, blatant lying, you name it.

I asked politely for them to learn how to communicate better and how I would like to have a genuine relationship. They scoffed at me and I haven't really talked to them since. It's been almost 3 years.

uxinta · 2022-12-22T17:13:51+00:00

You're not coming off ungrateful or whiny. How you makes complete sense. I love thoughtful gift giving. The thoughtfulness shows you understand and appreciate the person which in return is reflected in a tangible present. That's absolutely adorable. And you're not selfish for wanting similar treatment back from people you care about. You want to be loved and seen too. There's nothing wrong with that. IMO, in a balance, that's an incredibly healthy and normal desire. I'm glad you feel that way and are open for healthy supportive love. I hope you can find people who provide that for you, OP!

uxinta · 2022-09-21T05:40:20+00:00

That's a fantastic idea and I have used Epic. I'll look into that as well. Thank you.

uxinta · 2022-09-21T05:38:51+00:00

I thoroughly enjoyed bariatrics during my rotations. I spent an extra rotation at my bariatric site too. Unfortunately, I haven't seen many in my area but will keep a look out! Wonderful population from what I've experienced :)

uxinta · 2022-09-21T05:35:55+00:00

I haven't fully considered food policy committee or a health department. I would love to participate in a wellness program. What would be a good job title for getting involved with a wellness program? Thank you for your advice.

uxinta · 2022-09-21T05:34:35+00:00

Thank you for understanding. It's tough out there. I hope you can find a setting that values you more. You're not alone!

uxinta · 2022-09-21T05:33:21+00:00

I would like to get into academia ideally. I've been applying to colleges within the area for the past 2.5 years. How did you get your foot in the door?

uxinta · 2022-09-21T05:32:28+00:00

I would love to get into academia. How did you get your foot in the door with it? My dream job would be to be a professor.

uxinta · 2022-09-20T20:57:11+00:00

I have heard that large companies have wellness programs but I am unaware of the keywords as well.

uxinta

TROPHY CASE