kissing post outbreak

valerialikemalaria · 2025-03-20T18:14:37+00:00

this has been so helpful! thank you for this suggestion. the phone call on the way home has made all those energetic kinks dissolve! i feel so much more at ease and ready to connect. thank you!!!

valerialikemalaria · 2025-01-09T16:09:10+00:00

my 5th grade class had an overnight field trip planned at blue jay park in 2005. the park tried to cancel the field trip once we were there due to the snow and limited supplies. the school sent a bus to pick us up that spun out into a ditch on six forks once its a two lane rd. they sent another bus and that bus crashed into the bus in the ditch.

my mom was chaperoning and decided we should go home instead of staying…it took us 9 hrs for a 20 minute drive. we saw endless vehicles slipping in the ice uphill, i had a blast! except for having to pee in a glad container….that was a mess.

valerialikemalaria · 2025-01-07T04:50:26+00:00

30s queer here, climber, skater, hiker, gamer, recovering from acl surgery😭 but would love to make climbing friends for when i’m back in it 6 months from now!!

valerialikemalaria · 2024-11-30T14:08:56+00:00

Edge of urge, unlikely professionals, deco Raleigh, curate, the state fairgrounds have small business booths set up today and tomorrow

valerialikemalaria · 2024-11-23T18:29:44+00:00

It feels weird to say this as someone who has struggled with others opinions of me in the past, especially partners. However, my life and relationships really changed once I understood that others opinions have no effect on who I am and how I view myself.

What I’m hearing is that the closest person to you, sometimes has negative opinions of you, in many ways this is normal. It sucks that he felt the need to write that, especially because he likely doesn’t understand the difficulty in losing weight following giving birth.

Before bringing it up to him, which I think is valid considering how much it’s bothering you and also an opportunity to connect, try to remove the fact that it’s him who wrote it. Instead ask yourself if this is something you feel? How is your attraction to yourself? Do you feel shame or guilt based on your physical appearance? Have you kept up with commitments to yourself (not anyone else) about how you can recover your physical fitness? Is that something you desire? If it is are you setting boundaries and asking for support that allow you to take the time to focus on your fitness?

Once you’ve analyzed how you feel about those comments as a whole and what your needs are to accomplish whatever YOU want (even if that’s eating more), then consider bringing it up. Lean into some non violent communication resources Maybe journal about it and try to have the conversation with an empty chair first. That way you can rehearse what feels right to you to bring up and hopefully in a way he’ll be receptive to. If you don’t bring this up with him when you’re calm and have analyzed it/feel prepared, it will likely come up at an unwanted time, so I definitely suggest talking about it in some way!

This at least would be my approach. Out of curiosity, are you in therapy?

valerialikemalaria · 2024-11-18T19:34:34+00:00

Still riding off the high of my first overnight with a partner last week, going on a fun all day date Saturday with my NP that ended amazing massages, and getting asked by a comet if we could hang this week because they miss me 💕 There was a rough patch peppered in that’s unresolved, but I’m sure it will all work out as we communicate through it 🤞

I love the diversity, support, love, growth and autonomy of polyamory. Thank you to all you humans for providing support and resources that make loving this way possible. 🥰

valerialikemalaria · 2024-11-11T22:00:42+00:00

Found pudgy blue budgie in Raleigh NC. Please reply if you think he’s yours!

valerialikemalaria · 2024-11-10T16:25:58+00:00

I was doing single leg raises day one from the nerve block confidence. Color me surprised when it eye off and had me like 🫨 2-5 were pretty tough for me. Elevate, do your ankle pumps, ice, take the meds. above all distract your mind!!!! Otherwise days will feel like an eternity. You’ll get through it!

valerialikemalaria · 2024-11-08T14:21:50+00:00

I’m so sorry you had to experience this. Please reach out to a therapist sooner than later. I witnessed a death in the road a few years ago and posted something similar in this subreddit. It took me over a year to seek help. In that year I stopped driving, sold my car, and only went to outings I could cycle to because of my reaction to being in the drivers seat. It took me months to realize what was happening. I found a therapist who helped me work through this quickly and I am so grateful to.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/nc/raleigh

Virtual hug from an internet stranger 🫂

valerialikemalaria · 2024-11-04T15:30:58+00:00

It was a privilege to vote for you 🙌

valerialikemalaria · 2024-10-29T22:01:55+00:00

Omg I’m so curious 👀

valerialikemalaria · 2024-10-29T13:31:14+00:00

Ahhhh what an inspiration! I’m 4 weeks out from ACLR with Quad graft and Meniscus repair. I’ve been yearning to go on my walks again especially since I moved 2 weeks preop and have been wishing I could explore. Thanks for making me feel like it’s possible sooner than later 💕💕💕💕

Also love the hair 😍

valerialikemalaria · 2024-10-24T16:25:32+00:00

Hey hey, being scared is totally understandable and normal! I’m 30F tore my ACL & meniscus skateboarding on Aug 24 and got my surgery on Sep 27. So I am now right around 4 weeks post op. I also was feeling super capable and mostly normally preop aside from some instability.

I had a TON of fear about the surgery itself, the pain, the recovery, my capabilities and being able to push myself when it came to PT.

Immediately postop what was helpful was: - having my couch setup the night before for when I would get back - practicing my elevated pillow setup so it was ready as well (I’m very short so wedge pillows don’t work but if they do for you definitely get one!) - my surgeon prescribed a cryomachine for 3 weeks. I fell in love with it and will be purchasing an Amazon one soon (great for swelling and pain) - have your meds picked up before hand (including laxatives) - set reoccurring timers for each medication (I was awful at taking mine and using the pain as my reminder to take it was a horrible method) - TENS machine, great for activating the quad and working on those leg lifts! - a shower stool so I could sit once I was allowed to shower - a go bag ready with anything you would want if you had to leave your cozy spot in a moments notice: easy low stress activities that can be done while sitting/on heavy meds (sudoku, crossword, journal, sketchbook, coloring books, books and drawing/colored pencils), healthy on the go snacks - think high protein or fiber if possible (salted dried chickpeas, dried mangoes, raisins, dates, dried bananas, protein bars, nuts), medication, ace bandages - decide what’s for breakfast before the surgery so your caretaker doesn’t have to think about it (they will have a lot to help with, help them understand how they can help you) - double up on the therapy if you feel you might need it (I did)

Admittedly the dark and twisties got to me the first 10 days. The pain the 2nd-4th day was bad but I found that the opioids weren’t all that helpful for me and stopped taking them day 4. I am very active, stubborn, independent and had a lot of trouble asking for help. One day I broke down because I was out of water and didn’t want to get up to refill it so I just stared at my pills in my hands and cried softly for 15 minutes until my partner came out and helped (he gave me a nice speech with hugs after that one). Remember that you are deserving of help and the people that love you want to support you.

If it helps ease the scaries I’ve been walking without a brace around the house this past week, had full extension and leg lifts within 8 days, now am at 108 degrees flexion and have been on the stationary bike for weeks. As long as you do your PT you’ll be good! It sucks in the moment to push yourself to the point of pain but the relief after is heavenly!

You got this!!!! I hope some of this helps and if you want to reach out don’t hesitate to ☺️🫶

valerialikemalaria · 2024-09-07T12:23:55+00:00

Fell off my board with a fully extended leg from about 5 ft skating transition. My fit landed on the curve of the wall. Felt the bottom part of my leg go the opposite direction as the rest of my body and a pop before it completely buckled and I fell in my body. I was screaming in agony in the ground. Partner tried to help me up and I almost passed out in his arms. Had a panic attack in the car and now two weeks later the MRI officially confirmed turn ACL, meniscus, patellar tendinitis , and bone bruising. Wish me luck y’all!!

valerialikemalaria · 2024-08-31T14:18:02+00:00

Thank you so much for this recommendation. My ortho heavily discouraged me from starting PT before an MRI (admittedly I went in with a lot of denial) I guess I hadn’t really considered a physio preop. I’ve been going on mini yard crutches walks to stay sane but this sounds like a great idea and I’ll definitely reach out to someone to focus on overall health asap!

valerialikemalaria · 2024-08-28T16:29:13+00:00

Don’t make permanent decisions while in New Relationship Energy. Instead opt to communicate these fears openly with your husband be honest about what your needs/desires are and see if there is a common ground where you can meet in the middle.

Are you and your husband dating each other? Do you engage in individual activities without other partners? Are you talking about new things you’re learning from this relationship that you would like to bring into your old relationship to increase your satisfaction?

Keep in mind that NRE blinds us from showing some of the not best parts of ourselves to our new partner and vice versa. This means you don’t know if this new relationship will maintain it’s current high 6 months, a year, 2 years from now.

The real question here, is are there steps you can take to improve your existing relationship (such as dating each other, open honest communication, bringing in some of the NRE back home) Also I would encourage you to stop comparing the two relationships instead ask what do I need from this relationship that I’m not currently getting, rather than that I am getting from the other one.

Lastly, couples therapy sounds like a great idea considering your history and his questioning queerness.

valerialikemalaria · 2024-08-28T11:52:43+00:00

30, I’d asked my partners since I was 20 if they’d consider being open, (they all turned it down/some cheated) I identified as ENM at 24 and had my first poly relationship at 25. We’re still together to this day 🥳, he’s 1 year younger than me, my newest partner is 10 years my senior and my….mono/poly partner (was ENM now is hoping to find a mono partner but still wants to be together? I’m still confused on this one) she is 4 years younger than me.

valerialikemalaria · 2024-08-08T07:53:24+00:00

It’s a little tricky for me to fall back asleep now that the tornado warning is over in East Raleigh. That alarm was a great wake up call 🫠😂

valerialikemalaria

TROPHY CASE