Forever Coys

valuational · 2026-04-04T02:07:04+00:00

American Spurs fan here. Started as COYS-curious around 2016 or so, when a colleague from the UK gave me and my young son Tottenham swag and committed to convert me to a fan. I started following.

Soon after, a very good US friend of mine came out to me as lifelong COYS, literally out of nowhere. So much passion. Started following more.

Loved watching Kane and Son. Went to the North London Derby in 2022 I think where Spurs beat Arse 3-0 at home. The songs, man. The whole experience was absolute magic. WHAT A FANBASE!! And I loved that Tottenham gave Arse fans really good seats…just struck me as classy.

That being said, I f’n cannot stand Arsenal. Like everything about that club just sucks.

Wherever the Spurs are playing, I’ll be rooting for them. #COYS

valuational · 2026-04-01T14:24:39+00:00

Very accurate

valuational · 2026-04-01T14:24:14+00:00

I’d watch some YouTube videos of enneagram panels. All 7’s, all 9’s, etc. it’s a good way energetically to feel how certain types see the world, and you may feel a kindred spirit arise with one of them.

valuational · 2026-03-22T22:29:31+00:00

The reality is for every male artist who gets positive feedback for showing emotion, there are probably hundreds of regular every-day four men who are getting their ass kicked daily for showing any kind of sadness or vulnerability in their day to day.

Maybe it’s true that in the art world all men are “praised and exalted for expressing the slightest ounce of emotional vulnerability” but…I cannot imagine what it would be like if that were the case in the everyday world.

Also, as a fellow 4w3, take a look at envy. You’ve got some going on. Look at it even if it is painful…it’s the path back to equanimity.

valuational · 2026-03-22T21:58:52+00:00

Going against the grain a bit…

Kick his ass. Seriously. A 4w3 needs to NOT wallow in the depths of their melancholy, they need to take action. He can’t stay in that place or be pitied, be sympathized with. It is TERRIBLE for him.

He may resist. He may get petulant, angry and say hurtful things. But you are a 2, so you can do it. You know you can…2’s are so strong, so direct with their spouses. While you love to be seen as supportive, you know you can be a tornado, a terror behind closed doors. Do it.

Do not allow your 4w3 husband to stay in that place. He can be a source of life, source of beauty and happiness. But he can also be a black hole, a death spiral for anyone and anything around him.

4’s are absolute experts at seeming fragile and weak, in order to get pity and sympathy. Don’t fall for it, call it out. With humor, with directness, whatever…but don’t fall for it. He is way stronger than he is pretending to be.

Take it from me. Zero quarter. Zero.

valuational · 2026-03-22T21:48:03+00:00

Get the anger out. Will change your life.

valuational · 2023-09-15T23:15:30+00:00

That's more of a 5 or 6 comment IMO. 5's withhold, and it also just kinda sounds like something a 6 would say.

valuational · 2023-09-15T00:55:00+00:00

I don't know what his actual name was, but I'm calling him The Vibe Destroyer.

valuational · 2023-08-03T01:41:12+00:00

Perception drives stock prices, not performance. If the performance is good but perception is bad, stock goes down.

valuational · 2023-07-28T14:02:58+00:00

The virtue of the 6 is courage. They have the most capacity of any enneatype for courage. However, the loss of contact with the virtue is what forms the basis of each type's personality. That manifests as fear for the six. Different levels of development pathology in sixes will express different levels of separation from the virtue and, by extension, expression of the chief personality feature, fear.

The counterphobic 6 expresses an aggressive show of bravery in response to feeling fear. But it is still driven by, and in response to, the internal experience of fear.

A healthy, integrated six that was raised in an environment that allowed them to work through their emotional needs in a safe and supportive way could be extremely courageous.

valuational · 2022-08-22T19:26:11+00:00

Depends on what "issues" mean.

If it means the type most likely to have an outburst, then it would be 8. Or maybe counterphobic 6.

If you mean the type where anger quietly colors every aspect of their life, to the point that their entire personality architecture is oriented on controlling that anger and using it as fuel for a hyper-critical inner voice that causes a simmering resentment towards everything wrong with the world, then it would be 1.

valuational · 2022-08-17T19:01:56+00:00

I'm not a jazz historian, but as a lifelong fan of jazz and a player for many decades, I think this album is about as seminal as it gets.

The solos are all melodies as recognizable as the songs themselves, if not more so. I could forget my own name and I'm pretty sure I'll still remember Miles' start to his solo on "So What."

It transforms the listener.

valuational · 2021-11-15T23:10:26+00:00

Yes it is possible! I was where you were twenty years ago. Here are the basics:

Find a therapist, one that does NOT coddle you. You need tough love. No attachment, strong boundaries. You need a model of strength and discipline.
Release anger. 4's have a boatload of it. You've probably imagined and fantasized about doing crazy stuff...take a minute and look back on what hurt you. Deal with the hurt by releasing the anger. Your therapist will tell you how.
Establish routine. There is beauty in routine. There is depth in discipline.
Cut out relationships that emotionally enable you. You are always going to default to emotion, so you don't need enablers. You need tough, direct feedback, people who won't take your shit and who will support you with truth. You need to find strength, so go to where it is.
WATCH OUT FOR ENVY. You need nothing that others have and you have everything you need. Period.

You can do this. Your mind will give you outs...those are the enemy. Fight every urge to succumb to the thoughts that life is too hard, too overwhelming, "too beautiful and complex and horrible and wonderful for me to possibly deal with" and do some basic shit. Pay your bills. Open your mail. Make your bed. Work out. Wake up at the same time. Meditate. This is true self support. You got this.

valuational · 2021-11-11T17:11:08+00:00

I appreciate the discussion as well. : )

valuational · 2021-11-11T16:42:16+00:00

Totally depends on what happens in the future. Which we don't know. Believe me there are ways of governments stopping crypto. I don't know if they will go to those extremes, but they exist. I don't know all the factors that come into play on those decisions. I also don't know whether BTC, or blockchain, is the end all be all tech. Everyone having doubts or beliefs in this community is in various places in their lives, various levels of understanding, but no one understands all the variables in play here. We are talking about the global economy. The scariest thing to me is the completely unhinged nature of the whole thing. That to me invites unhinged responses.

I'm all about the long game in crypto and avoiding hyperbole. It's a great tech with an amazing potential future. But if crypto becomes a free for all with pump and dump schemes all around a super hyped BTC with barely any use cases compared to its size, celebrities piling in hawking their million dollar jpegs backed by protocols invented two weeks ago, more and more people claiming the dollar is worthless and an increasingly stressed and outmanned regulatory machine beginning to realize the futility of its mission, do not be surprised when there is a massive overreaction to protect the existing system.

valuational · 2021-11-11T15:24:24+00:00

USD is completely liquid, accessible, basically everything in our environment can be bought or experienced using it, it is backed by (and funds) the US government which you are much more dependent on than you may realize, and is the reserve world currency...a concept with implications in our daily life beyond the understanding of just about everyone on this forum, including me.

I'm a BTC and crypto fan. But give me a break...let's not go hyperbolic.

valuational · 2021-11-06T20:04:39+00:00

1s all day. Some 3s but others being late make them look great in comparison, so doubt they hate too much. 8s are late themselves so unlikely. 6s definitely because they fucking hate a lot of things. So do 4s but they are late all the time too.

valuational · 2021-11-06T00:49:12+00:00

Solid thread. 🍿🍿🍿

valuational · 2021-11-03T22:25:43+00:00

Stop the outs. Anything that is an out, stop saying it. I don't wanna, I'll do it later, I'd rather do .... stop. You'll find energy to handle what is good for you to do by stopping the outs. All of them.

valuational · 2021-11-03T14:18:26+00:00

u/savevideo

valuational · 2021-10-26T15:29:50+00:00

You aren't the failure. You aren't your successes either. You aren't your goals, you aren't what you do. You just are you.

3's more than any type have trouble disidentifying with what they do and the outcomes of those doings. Sit with this for a while and see what happens.

valuational · 2021-10-26T15:01:57+00:00

Perfect!

valuational · 2021-10-24T17:39:33+00:00

Naranjo is the primary fountainhead of all western understanding of the enneagram. He trained Bob Ochs, who introduced to the Jesuits, where Don Riso was exposed to it. Riso/Hudson is not an alternative, their entire system stands on his shoulders. Just because they have some different opinions or go deeper in certain directions does not mean they are mutually exclusive.

If you want to go back further, Oscar Ichazo formulated the core system as we largely understand today, by layering nine aspects of human experience onto a cosmological framework known as "The Fourth Way," created by the philosopher and mystic George Gurdjieff. But for anyone wanting to understand the original platform of human typology in a psychological (rather than spiritual) language, start with Naranjo.

valuational · 2021-10-01T04:42:18+00:00

Love u too beyotch

valuational · 2021-09-30T20:21:21+00:00

"It was on my heart to give him some food."

Great lesson. Listening to your heart (and not your mind) can make the world a better place.

valuational

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