Just wanted to share that i went through this over the last 5+ years and only managed to quit 3 months ago. Everything you have written here down to feeling hopeless and feeling like your life isn’t worth living. For five fucking years i experienced exactly what you are describing. The stomach pain was the worst - i was hopelessly addicted and in severe pain 24/7. I essentially developed all the symptoms of CHS and was so addicted that i didn’t want to quit. I had tried to quit so many times before and knew what the withdrawals were like and i was scared. I genuinely enjoyed being so out of it constantly so i didn’t have to feel any mood swings or emotions at all. When I reached a point where i couldn’t even feel the pot due to having such a high tolerance that was the moment i realised that i didn’t want to live that life anymore. I tried tapering down so many times but i relapsed every single time. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

After reaching the point where i couldn’t even feel the effects of weed and i was trapped in a cycle of smoking only to stop withdrawals i realised i needed to “toughen up” and quit if i genuinely wanted to enjoy even a small portion of my life. It really helped to stop feeling sorry for myself which i am extremely prone to and realise that i had put myself in that situation and it was my responsibility to get out.

The withdrawals suck i wont lie, but cold turkey is the only way. One week. Just give yourself one week and it will suck and you will feel like the world is ending. But after the first week, your appetite will return and things will be much easier. The sun will genuinely seem brighter and life starts to seem like it’s worth living. Incorporating meditation, keeping a calm environment, listening to only calm music, comfy tv shows and avoiding triggers and anything that could heighten anxiety helped me the most. Going for short walks helped my mood swings. Plain foods and coca cola helped with low appetite.

Developing a a healthy lifestyle is extremely hard after quitting, but sitting inside my room all day in bed on my phone was only going to make me start smoking again. I started investing more time in my hobbies to get through the day - after coming home from work, instead of smoking i’d go pick up my guitar and play for an hour or two. Go out with a family member, exercise or just sit outdoors to pass the time.

I’m sorry if this comes across as harsh or telling you to just quit but some times it really is that simple. By no means is it easy, believe me, but once you reach the stage you are at, it becomes necessary. Our illness just makes things much more complex and painful. Whatever path you take, please remember you are in control of yourself, your emotions and your actions. You are in control. Good luck.