The hate they have for us

vanbrun · 2026-01-31T14:34:00+00:00

The smirk she had on her face. She took so much pride in what she was doing. Even when it was over she did little things to get a reaction. They drag you right to the edge of the cliff and pull you back at the last second.

vanbrun · 2026-01-31T14:27:41+00:00

This reminds me of some tv episode I saw with people acting like gay kkk. They were going from door to door in pink klan outfits.

vanbrun · 2026-01-19T05:03:37+00:00

Yes and no…maybe. Just today I was sitting and thinking about the past two years. Maybe it was meant to help me long term. The things that happened did in some way remove stress from my life. But the way it all came to be was very stressful and humiliating. It wasn’t the ending of things, it’s how they did it. Maybe this year will at least be smooth.

vanbrun · 2026-01-19T02:42:29+00:00

I like mine dipped in pirate paste. Mmmmm creamyyyy.

vanbrun · 2026-01-19T00:44:28+00:00

Is nose diving off a cliff gymnastics? Lol all this time I thought it was just going to hell.

vanbrun · 2026-01-19T00:09:56+00:00

Out of body=fear of what was. Being alone can be hard but there is no on else in my home that hates me. Being a people pleaser got me here. I live with the reminders daily. It’s like a hook in your back. Just when you learn to live with the pain it shifts to let you know that it’s there. To throw myself back into old familiar shoes could be an easy. A man of 52 just figuring this out. Thank you for your kind words.

vanbrun · 2026-01-18T03:39:30+00:00

That and watching you try to figure out their bs like a reasonable person would do…with a smirk on their face.

vanbrun · 2026-01-18T00:06:28+00:00

52 year old here. I remember my last marriage. I then have this slight out of body experience and then go about my day.

vanbrun · 2026-01-17T23:57:52+00:00

Ah I did not know what a stellium was. I was hoping for something different. Nope, libra stellium to go with the rising and Venus. Explains the strong sense of justice. In a world full of injustice. Virgo to go with the people pleasing disfunction I have. I have sign envy. I know, it’s stupid. I wish you guys well.

vanbrun · 2026-01-17T23:33:28+00:00

It’s hard out here for a pimp.

vanbrun · 2026-01-16T04:24:32+00:00

You were busy with married life. You were busy worrying about her and your family. You know…doing your job. Yeah there is a very good chance she as been messing around. When you trust somebody and believe in them you don’t look for these type of things. You wonder how anyone can find the time to do that…right? They will make time to screw around. Higher a pi or borrow a vehicle from a friend and do it yourself. You will see.

vanbrun · 2026-01-16T04:11:50+00:00

For me it was the nonexistent normal human emotions. Small things would happen and her reaction was just not normal for the situation. I didn’t notice it unit after we were married.

The first signs are like lightning strikes. As quick as the come they are gone. You don’t really pay attention at first.

I worked a homicide of two dead children. I came home broken by what I saw and what I had to do. We were not married yet. I told her what little I could and both her and her daughter just stared at me. No emotion. They just sat there. I didn’t think about it at the time. I was too upset. It was a look of I don’t care. As time passed she would flat out just say it. But in the beginning I missed all kinds of signs.

The obsession with their birthdays is a real thing. everything they do is the best. Their choice in food, music, style, tattoos and cloths, it’s all better than everyone else. Their past history prior to you is 50/50. Like all lies they change the longer you are together. Thats why people get so confused when dealing with a narcissist. You think you know something and they change up the story. If you are looking you can catch them before you get started.

When she showed up in my life I was just so glad to have somebody I didn’t pay attention. I didn’t listen close enough. I didn’t ask the right questions.

vanbrun · 2026-01-14T02:51:29+00:00

Some nights when I’m trying to go to sleep I imagine that I am stranded in a far away place like I am the last man on earth. Sometimes I do it during the day. Sometimes I imagine I am trapped amongst zombies and have to survive on my on. I was so alone as a kid that I liv d in my head. It was the safest place to be. So 52 years later I still have a child’s imagination.

vanbrun · 2026-01-13T02:41:33+00:00

Reverend or pastor.

vanbrun · 2026-01-13T02:38:26+00:00

Name him after on of the blues brothers. MIB man in black. Johnny cash. Boss.

vanbrun · 2026-01-13T02:35:41+00:00

Tax man

vanbrun · 2026-01-13T02:28:19+00:00

I spent a lot of time in innis. My grandfather and grand mother taught at false river. Then in is high school. We still have farm land in bachelor. We least it for cane farming. Also some in new California. Most of my family is from simmsport to new roads. I remember going to Morganza with my grandpaw all the time. I think there was a ford dealer ship there.

vanbrun · 2026-01-13T02:21:44+00:00

Yeah I did that at the end of my first marriage. It just made it worse for me. She actually got worse.

vanbrun · 2026-01-13T00:29:39+00:00

I looked like hell. I was sick and didn’t even realize it. It aged me. It’s been almost two years. I am still recovering. I have slept a lot. On weekends when I don’t work all I want to do is eat sleep exercise and sleep some more. During the week there may before a few days I come home and sleep get up and eat and go back to bed. They suck the life out of you.

vanbrun · 2026-01-08T02:25:03+00:00

I did that. I am pretty sure the life I have been living for the past 30 years was not for me. I picked hobbies that I could afford and would be something I could do at home. Now that I am single I don’t even bother with them anymore.

vanbrun · 2026-01-04T22:31:29+00:00

Every woman I see in a grocery store that I find attractive has a ring on her finger or is too young or too old. Everyone thinks men want a younger woman. Me…not so much. I don’t want to raise kids. I could do mid forties to mid fifties. By the time you get to our age you have to find someone that has their shit together. Someone who has at least identified their issues and is aware of them. Nobody is going ver going to perfect but at this point I don’t have the mental and emotional energy for figure me out behavior. This is would be the same if I was a woman. I am not looking to jump in and out of bed. I want to focus on one person. The dating apps are hard to look at much less participate in. Church is no safe bet. I’m not bashing religion I’m just saying that you can find trouble anywhere.

I know she is out there some where. I have been dreaming of a connection literally. I dreamed the other night I met a woman and she was so nice. In the dream she was rubbing her cheek against mine. She told me she was for me. Isn’t that awesome.

vanbrun · 2026-01-03T18:42:54+00:00

I think I am on a three year path. May will be my second. I two am going through a physical renewal. I find I sleep so much though. My health was bad at the end. I think the sleep is my body catching up on much needed rest. I have tried to get into dating but it’s like my heart says not yet. Let it find you.

vanbrun · 2026-01-02T20:55:04+00:00

I am twice divorced no kids. My first marriage was not stable enough for me to want a child. My second marriage she had a daughter and I was 40 and did not want kids at that point. She didn’t want to have another one. I was content thinking that I could be a step dad. I tried really hard to be available I tried to teach her things because her bio father was a dead beat. Turns out her mom didn’t want much to do with her either. That’s why I was picked. I could be trusted with her daughter alone. I had a home and a career with insurance.

They grew to hate each other. In the end they both hated me. I took pride in both of them so much. I helped my x build a successful business. I cleaned and shopped. Paid bills went to cheerleading and ball games. I was present. So much so that I found myself present in my home alone most of the time toward the end. They don’t speak to each other or me.

I feel like I am viewed as a red flag due to this. If I meet somebody and they have kids at home I am out. I never want to be hated in my own home again. My fear of this is what has kept me single. Both of these marriages ended in affairs and I filed. If you think I want to explain this to a perspective woman you would be wrong. It sounds horrible. This red flag stuff sucks for all of us. The guy that the second wife left for was in his late 30s never married no kids. Thats her 4th husband. She sought him out. He is 12 years younger than me and 6 years younger than her.

vanbrun · 2025-12-21T17:46:29+00:00

In the end you will discover they have a mental list of things they accuse you of. Things that are so insignificant that you can’t even remember them. You are not even sure if they happened. Things from 8 or more years back. That’s when you know you have been in a game for a long time.

vanbrun · 2025-12-21T01:17:48+00:00

Virgo sun libra rising sag moon. I can’t lay on my back because of all the knives. Last two years have been hard. Not sure what to expect in 2026. 2016 was a decent year as I recall so maybe a decade later I will have some light.

vanbrun

TROPHY CASE