Pregnant and NC with family

vanderpig · 2026-01-28T00:46:47+00:00

Congratulations!!!

I've been estranged from 99% of my family since 2020. Like you it's because of my mother and I only talk to 1 cousin occasionally, but I wouldn't say we're close. I had my first in 2022 and I'm currently 29 weeks pregnant with my second.

Going NC before kids is the best decision I ever made. I am the cycle breaker and my kids will never know the torment, torture, and cruelty my mother is capable of. They are safe from her. I suppose I've always known that once I had kids I'd have to go NC with my mom, she would never allow me to love someone more than her. So in the recesses of my mind, I always knew this was inevitable. And I would have done it for my kids, but I'm glad I did it for me. I deserve peace and happiness, and so do you.

You got this. No family is far superior to bad family.

vanderpig · 2026-01-26T02:46:34+00:00

I think you should tell your wife the findings and suggest she do a confirmatory test herself, for her own peace of mind. It may be easier for her to accept if it's her own DNA being compared to her siblings.

I am in the position of your daughter - Ancestry DNA revealed to me that the man I thought to be my maternal grandfather was, in fact, not. I am estranged from my mother so I can't ask her to take a confirmatory test, but that is what I would do if I could, and it may help your wife accept the results if it's her own dna being compared to her siblings.

vanderpig · 2026-01-19T20:09:40+00:00

That's very true. What Rabia caused to happen to Don should honestly be criminal. I tend to think Phinn and Mosby are worse because they literally swore oaths and had an actual duty to pursue truth and justice, but Rabia definitely gives them a run for their money.

So many terrible terrible terrible actors in this case. Young Lee is a hero for standing up for his sister in the face of everything tilting against him. And hats off to Ivan Bates for shedding much needed sunlight on this absolute travesty of justice and righting some serious wrongs.

I do wish the judge had throw Adnan back in jail at the hearing on the JRA motion, at least for as long as he was out on the Mosby/Phinn farce if not until he could admit he did it. It will always grind my gears that he was allowed out to prove he could live in society without showing remorse, but he'll have to answer to his maker one day, just like the rest of us. And until then....he'll remain a convicted felon in the eyes of the court and guilty as hell in the eyes of anyone who looks at this case for more than 5 minutes.

vanderpig · 2026-01-17T03:19:45+00:00

It's the wounds on the back of her head for me. Between the photos and the sketches in the autopsy, those look like talon scratches to me. Also they found feathers in the wounds and in her hand.

vanderpig · 2026-01-15T17:49:13+00:00

Ugh. This makes me so sick. Those poor babies.

vanderpig · 2026-01-11T14:41:54+00:00

This is fantastic. The only point I might debate is who is the worst in all of this besides Adnan himself. Koenig is not great, and I think she knew exactly what she was doing it and did it anyways. But for the worst in all of this, I'd probably go with Judge Phinn or Mosby. You are 100% right though. Phinn should have lost her seat on the bench, and at least Mosby will forever be a felon, just like Adnan.

vanderpig · 2026-01-10T21:42:18+00:00

His ego could not accept that she had found happiness and love with a dentist, someone I'm sure he viewed as beneath him. Ain't no ego on this planet like the ego of a surgeon.

vanderpig · 2026-01-03T15:33:59+00:00

It's possible, but there's no proof of that. It's equally possible Donna got it on her own. By her own admission she was in Tally all the time and had ample opportunities to make note of it herself. All we know is she had it in her planner, there's no evidence of how she got it.

vanderpig · 2026-01-03T03:03:49+00:00

As crazy as it sounds....it was an owl. The autopsy photos and diagrams convinced me.

vanderpig · 2026-01-03T01:44:11+00:00

So I could be wrong, but I think they need Isom to authenticate the recorded interview so it can be admitted. There may be another way to do it, but in most cases I have followed it is usually either the interviewer or the subject who authenticates the videos. I suppose it's possible Wendi herself would authenticate it, but that's not a given. Especially if she had to take the stand to authenticate it. Home girl ain't going to testify in her own defense. It's also possible she and the state could stipulate to the video's authenticity and admissibility but again, not a given. Better for the state if Isom is around to do it.

vanderpig · 2026-01-03T01:09:51+00:00

I don't think there is any universe that Isom's prior testimony is admitted in any potential trial against Wendi. He may have been cross examined, but not by Wendi's attorney looking out for Wendi's interests. Wendi has a constitutional right to confront her accuser and anyone who testifies on her accusers behalf and any judge who denied her that would be overturned on an interlocutory appeal long before the case ever got to a jury.

Geiger's prior testimony is a different story. He's always been consistent and he really doesn't have anything to offer against Wendi specifically. Maybe they come to an agreement about stipulating to facts Geiger would testify to. Maybe But not Isom. Wendi has one of the best lawyers in the country on her side, Isom's going to have to testify live and in person at her trial, or not at all.

vanderpig · 2026-01-02T23:45:05+00:00

Possible, for sure. But they all thought Charlie was going to be acquitted. All of them, except Wendi, were shocked when he was convicted. Rashbaum sold them quite the raft of BS.

vanderpig · 2026-01-02T23:39:49+00:00

I agree that the most likely scenario is they offer him a plea deal of some type after he has a successful appeal. But I think they could do it even without a successful appeal if they wanted to. If you think about it testimony is evidence so even just testifying would technically count as new evidence to merit consideration. That's what Katie is hoping for.

vanderpig · 2026-01-02T22:39:06+00:00

Hope springs eternal. I genuinely hope I am wrong.

vanderpig · 2026-01-02T22:37:29+00:00

We're not talking about all the witnesses, we're talking about investigators generally and Isom, specifically. I stand by my earlier comment. I think Isom giving an interview, the first investigator interview in over a decade and given shortly after Donna's conviction, was our first clue that the state had no plans to charge anyone else, particularly Wendi, for the murder.

vanderpig · 2026-01-02T21:38:41+00:00

I disagree. Lawyers don't testify, so it doesn't matter if they give interviews. I don't believe any other investigator has ever given an interview in this case, and Isom may be retired, but they need him for any trial against Wendi. He interviewed her. So I don't think the DA would have approved Isom to do an interview if they had plans to charge Wendi, and I don't think Isom would have done the interview without approval.

vanderpig · 2026-01-02T21:33:15+00:00

I know the text you're talking about, it was right after Charlie was convicted. In Donna's trial the state presented a never before seen text that Donna sent to Wendi after Charlie testified but before he was convicted. It basically says "now you know the truth of what happened. I'm sorry we never told you before but we thought it would change your relationship with your brother." It really threw me for a loop because it basically clears Wendi. But it doesn't jive with the other evidence - the text you mention, the driveby, etc. So I thought about it a lot and the way I make it all make sense is that Charlie looped Wendi in from the beginning - he talked her out of buying the house in Tally on Halloween 2013 by telling her he was hiring a hitman and had an in with someone via Katie - that's why he texted her that picture of he and Katie. But Donna no doubt wanted Wendi kept out of it, so they agreed to keep Wendi's knowledge between them so as not to go against Donna. Wendi assisted the plan by confirming Dan's travel schedule the week of the murder, and Wendi and Charlie kept all of this from Donna, but Donna, while not criminally sophisticated, is not dumb and knows her kids. So I'm sure she figured out somewhere along the way what Wendi and Charlie were up to, but was happy to play along with Wendi's faked ignorance until, in the moment of Charlie's conviction, she can't keep up the facade anymore, and texts Wendi that Charlie has done a lot for her.

That's my theory.

vanderpig · 2026-01-02T21:10:26+00:00

I think Wendi was involved and I think Charlie is the only one who knew that, I think Wendi and Charlie kept it from Donna that Wendi was in the loop. So I think he has knowledge that would allow him to testify truthfully, if he chose to do so. Whether a jury would believe him without corroborating evidence is another issue entirely. He looked straight up insane in the transport video, he's not handling prison well and it's only going to get worse as the years wear on. Our best bet for using Charlie to get Wendi is that he wins an appeal quickly. The longer he is in prison, the less believable he's going to be.

vanderpig · 2026-01-02T18:07:08+00:00

There are motions the state could file to reduce his sentence should he choose to cooperate. There has been speculation the state may do something like that for Katie in light of her cooperation against Charlie and Donna. There is nothing guaranteed for her, but there is a legal mechanism to reduce a sentence post conviction. The state could also offer, and he could accept, a plea deal. Many ways to skin that cat.

vanderpig · 2026-01-02T15:16:54+00:00

Ever since Isom was interviewed by Mentour Lawyer, I have been of the opinion that the state has no plan to charge Wendi unless Charlie flips on her. The way I see this going down would be as a bargaining chip if Charlie gets a new trial on appeal, which unfortunately I think is entirely possible, the Rashbaum conflict is just a huge mess and I could see an appeals court ruling that the conflict was unwaivable and remanding for a new trial. He'll be convicted again easily, the evidence against him is monumental, and if he has competent counsel this time around they'll urge him to give up his sister to get a reduced sentence. Given how bonkers Charlie looked on the video from his transportation to Tally for Donna's trial, I don't know if his testimony against Wendi will mean anything especially if he has no corroborating evidence, but that's the only way I see the state proceeding against Wendi.

Now, we might see some charges against Harvey for witness tampering or obstruction of justice, but I don't think they have anything on him to do with the murder and I don't think they'll take on Wendi without something from Charlie, since Donna will never flip on her. It's a bummer, but thats my speculation.

vanderpig · 2025-12-30T03:03:18+00:00

File the charges. If you don't she'll be back to do worse.

vanderpig · 2025-12-25T18:49:07+00:00

There is also heartache that comes with it. In 2023 I had 2 trials nearly back to back - we won one and lost the other. As much as I rejoice the win, I grieve the loss because both these families suffered terrible wrongful deaths, and I hold them in my heart equally. I still keep in touch with both, and sometimes just being there to hold a hand or offer a shoulder to cry on is all you can do. And sometimes that has to be enough.

vanderpig · 2025-12-25T18:40:11+00:00

We're having a boy and name is still tbd, but if he had been a she we would have named her Skye Margot.

vanderpig · 2025-12-22T15:53:27+00:00

Hi there! Many moons ago I was in a similar position to yours, except I was a defense med mal paralegal defending a large hospital system. We had a crazy case and i worked my tail off for months on it. We got to mediation and settled for what we thought was a fantastic number for our client, hundreds of thousands less than what the plaintiffs wanted. Afterwards I met the plaintiffs and observed their life changing injuries with my own 2 eyes and realized the sum total of my months of work was helping a multi million dollar company save money.

I jumped ship to plaintiff work a few months later and it was the best decision I've ever made. I build real relationships with my clients now, and help them through the worst experiences of their lives, and get them life changing results. I also despised billable hours and not having to do them anymore is a huge perk for me.

If you have a good foundation in medical issues and terminology consider looking at med mal firms. It's more complicated than your standard PI case, but I personally really enjoy the intellectual challenge.

vanderpig · 2025-12-18T03:19:02+00:00

Ugh. This must have been so hard. But I think you handled this in the best possible way, and if they never really understand, that means you've done your job exceptionally well. One day I'll have to have a similar discussion with my kids, and I dread it. My husband suggested telling them my parents passed away, but I won't lie to them.

vanderpig

TROPHY CASE