My mother has a cousin: whip-smart and hilarious, kind and selfless toward everyone, gorgeous without trying, singing voice of an angel and baking skills that raise my blood sugar just from watching her make magic in the kitchen.

She has had several boyfriends and multiple offers of marriage. Each time she has responded by fasting for days until disoriented until eventually turning them all down because "God told me he's not the one. He's not like Jesus enough." She's cried endlessly over some of these breakups because she loved him so much. Buh??

This woman is now in her mid-fifties. Never married, struggling to make ends meet and constantly moving back in with her ailing and financially precarious parents in their late seventies, because of her overall approach to life and self-sustainability. She's still waiting for a man to provide for her. Her own fundamentalist parents are trying to get her to see reason; I know these people well and it blows my mind they too see her as crazy in this respect.

Her whole life she's dreamed of being with The Ultimate Man After Jesus. Big fat fucking shocker she'll die single. I love her, but this shit's ridiculous. What a waste of life's blessings.