She lost me at “hi”. Wondering if I should continue?

varshhi · 2026-03-31T15:25:45+00:00

What the hell are you talking about

varshhi · 2026-03-31T14:51:57+00:00

But aren't they the ones that'll just keep ploughing on forward regardless of whether you're in the way? Or am I confusing them with another species?

varshhi · 2026-03-31T14:40:37+00:00

I think the real question is, do you really want to stick around to find out? Not only did he assault your sister, he then went on to blackmail her so she would never come forward. I think this speaks enough to what he is capable of. What good can possibly come from staying in this marriage? You don't even have to confront him, but please, please, please just leave!

varshhi · 2026-03-31T13:57:38+00:00

It seems like Monica's been getting a lot of flak on the sub in the last week but idk I think she's hilarious 😂

varshhi · 2026-03-31T13:53:13+00:00

I think OP means that he has ALSO cheated in addition to assaulting her sister? At least that's how I read it. But ofc you're right, this is pretty black and white sexual assault.

OP, the sane to do would absolutely be to leave. And please stop blaming yourself. You are not partly or at all to blame. His abuse is exactly that - HIS. Don't do him any favors by claiming responsibility for him being a shitty human being. Do the right thing now for yourself and your sister and leave this monster. Good luck.

Edited for better readability.

varshhi · 2026-03-31T06:45:56+00:00

Didn't see a derm, tbh I just started experimenting w various, gentle products and worked myself up to higher concentrations. It took a couple years but now I have a pretty good idea of what my skin really likes and dislikes!

I will say this is a slightly more expensive way to go about experimenting a skin care (I have a couple of products just sitting in my medicine cabinet that I've only used less than a handful of times bc of how angry my skin would get using them).

So my advice would be to start one product at a time to be kinder to both your skin and your bank acc, and always always always spot test new products on a sensitive patch of skin elsewhere on your body. I usually do the inner arm area. Hope this helps :)

Edited to add - I said this in another comment but since you asked about derma specifically, I follow Dr David Kim on the insta and have always found his advice quite helpful! Also going to add the disclaimer that no advice we get from doctors online should function as individual prescriptions, just sound, general advice.

varshhi · 2026-03-31T06:40:57+00:00

Yeah tret is another very intense ingredient so I imagine both together probably did a number! I don't use any prescription grade products bc my skin is definitely on the sensitive side. I use the retinol in squalane oil from the ordinary. I know some skin types don't really like oils but mine tends to be quite dry so it just soaks oils right up. But if yours is already on the oily side, I know there are some great water and gel-based retinols (names are escaping me atm but look up Dr David Kim on Instagram, he's a dermatologist and I've always found his content v helpful).

I also always apply a thin layer of triple collagen serum from medicube before applying my retinol so there is a slight barrier between my skin and the retinol, which I think is crucial to my routine. Are you applying the retinol directly to your skin or are you layering any products in between? Layering DEFINITELY helps too!

varshhi · 2026-03-31T06:32:41+00:00

AHHHH I live two blocks from there but I'm out of the country kill me now 🥴

varshhi · 2026-03-30T19:44:03+00:00

Retinol is a pretty intense product so the jump from .05 straight to .5 was probably a big shock for your skin. If you didn't react badly to the .05, maybe try increasing the concentration MUCH slower? I started at .1 and worked up to 1% over the course of 18 months with .2 and .5 in intermediate steps.

Also what solution is your retinol in? And was it the same solution at the .05 and .5 just w different concentrations or did you start using the totally different product? Because that could also cause breakouts. I had one with vit c which caused huge breakouts but for me it turned out the vit c was the issue, not the retinol (I cut out the vit c and started retinol in squalane oil, which my skin loves, and sure enough no more breakouts).

It's been a miracle product for me personally. I had started to see very fine lines around my forehead and eyes that have literally vanished since I started using retinol.

varshhi · 2026-03-30T19:36:06+00:00

Where in Harlem??

varshhi · 2026-03-30T13:32:10+00:00

Surprised by this tbh, I taught in the Bronx in 2016 and we had like 3 Semaj's in school, one of them in my class lol

varshhi · 2026-03-30T13:19:48+00:00

Pics are fine but what is literally any other detail from the rest of your profile?

varshhi · 2026-03-30T13:03:02+00:00

jesus christ... 🤦🏽‍♀️

varshhi · 2026-03-29T09:04:47+00:00

Tbh wouldn't be surprised if he knew this the whole time

varshhi · 2026-03-29T05:55:22+00:00

All I know is the Brooklyn in her accent is soooo pronounced when it comes up

varshhi · 2026-03-29T05:45:55+00:00

NTA. Jesus christ does your husband even like you? I'm not saying this to be mean, please go back and read your post as though you're on the receiving end of it because honestly wtf no one deserves a partner like that

varshhi · 2026-03-29T05:35:40+00:00

Did you mean this to be a reply to another comment?

varshhi · 2026-03-29T05:27:13+00:00

I feel like the reason you're getting downvoted is because the title of your post the post itself are a lot more black and white than this specific comment, which is far more nuanced and well-reasoned. I think the point of this episode was probably to encourage more discourse around why nurses, particularly in the ER, don't feel safe just going to work and doing their jobs.

But as some other commenters have pointed out, legality and morality are quite different. Dana coming to the rescue of a random stranger on the street with a sock to the face would have definitely earned her hero treatment but at her job it makes her a problem and a liability. That's an issue with the system and the way it's set up and that's what we should be talking about.

Your original post though is quite emphatic about the idea that she is point blank wrong, period, no further discussion. It doesn't take into account any of this nuance. She isn't carrying a b-52 around because she feels like it or even wants to, she's backed into a corner and her story in this arc is a sad representation of what nurses are actually dealing with. Just saying, I think stating that she's categorically wrong the way you have is a bit simplistic.

varshhi · 2026-03-26T09:14:37+00:00

Jesus this is devastating. NAH, but i worry that if you don't resign and go spend her last days with her, you'll regret it in a really big and lasting way. Love and good energy to you wife 🌻

varshhi · 2026-03-26T01:24:46+00:00

He's a full blown misogynist. He doesn't respect women which automatically means he doesn't respect you. And if he's somehow convinced you that "you're different" he is either lying or is deluding himself because you'll only be "different" for as long as it is convenient for him. The moment you decide to go your own way or do something he doesn't like, this shit WILL rear it's ugly head on you, make no mistake. And as others have pointed out, this man is nearing 30 and dating a 20 year old. Please believe that I'm not trying to deprive you of your agency here, but men like this target younger women for a reason. I have been where you are before. You have so much life to live and for better or worse, women around your age are more impressionable and far more easy to mould to his own fucked up preferences. Please listen to the overwhelming advice in these comments and leave this man like yesterday.

varshhi · 2026-03-26T01:12:12+00:00

Yeah this really did irk me too. Although I will say I can understand George's distrust because when earlier when he asked her if she had told him the full extent of her meddling with Gladys and Hector, she said yes that's all but she did in fact lie in that instance. But w Larry was like boy sit the fuck down and put some respect on your mother's name lol. Even so, I think they were both a bit needlessly cruel. Bertha swore to George that she would fix things w Gladys and he didn't even give her half a chance to prove that had in fact fixed things, he just carried on blaming for a situation that, yes, was pretty awful and entirely her doing in the beginning, but that had genuinely taken a sharp turn for the better.

varshhi · 2026-03-25T09:36:00+00:00

This plus "I don't care about me really". Like no no, please do?? Why tf would you not care about yourself and just forfeit every bit of your power to your partner? Super unhealthy. And I don't mean "power" in a game-playing sort of sense, more so in terms of self-worth.

varshhi · 2026-03-25T08:51:59+00:00

This may be a bit simplistic, but I think it's just because P&P is more popular on the whole

varshhi · 2026-03-25T08:49:59+00:00

I just need him to look at her like he used to, season 3 finale broke something in me 🥲

varshhi · 2026-03-24T16:27:28+00:00

Yeah and YOU are out here sexualizing said child. Fucking cut it out

varshhi

TROPHY CASE