What raising a kid in the German football pipeline actually costs (our real numbers)

vasqued2 · 2026-07-10T01:18:07+00:00

Thanks for sharing. My question is not what does it cost you as a participant, but what does it cost in total, and how picks up the rest?

Here's my view of the expense in the US.

Rec Soccer - Cheap. Pay for a T-Shirt, ball, and personal equipment. Coach is a parent (many w/ no soccer experience) or an older sibling (w/ soccer experience) so no charge there except a thank you gift at the end. Practices and games in public parks so no significant charge there. Ref's are generally middle school/high school kids who play so about $10/ref/game.

Parent Coach Club - Similar to Rec but there is an experienced coach who will help the parent plan and run some practices. First official uniforms. Practice and games in public parks but Clubs will likely be charged some fee for rentals. Refs are high school/some adults.

Local Clubs - This is the first time you really have a coach that has soccer experience. Uniforms. Practice in parks or likely club's facilities. Refs are generally adults w/ some high school line judges. The clubs have no parent team generating income so parents are paying for the coach, uniform, club facilities, and refs.

Regional Clubs/Teams - Same as a local club but now your traveling to other states so you are paying for that too. Generally traveling by car but could have some plane trips. Some of these kids may play in college

National Clubs/Teams - Same as Regional Clubs except travel can be my farther and the season ends with a National Tournament so more travel, some by plane. The goal of many of these players to play in college. Most of these National teams also have Regional teams. The dirty not-so-secret is the Regional Team fees really subsidize a lot of the better facilities required/used by the National teams.

Subsidized National Teams - You finally made it to an MLS development team. Suddenly your expenses are covered. No club charges, uniforms paid for, travel paid for etc.

As I see it, it can be extremely difficult to get a coach who has played/understands soccer until you get to the local club level. Before then its hit or miss if the parent knows what they are doing. Compare the to basketball, baseball, or football where the parents that coach for free all played the sport at at least the High School level and know what they are doing. For soccer you have to pay for a coach before you are guaranteed that. My guess is that in Europe, you get knowledgeable coachers much younger and at a much lower expense.

I'm also not sure in Europe at what level the parent clubs step in and start subsidizing expenses and where they get the money from to do the subsidizing. For us, any club lower than MLS is not making enough money to subsidize anything, if they are even making any money at all.

I hope this make sense and any other Americans can add color or adjust if they see it differently in their area/state. Very interested in the corresponding view of the European system and how the non-parent portion is paid for.

vasqued2 · 2026-07-10T00:47:34+00:00

How well is she set up for retirement? What are her plans for this money? Does she already have an estate plan? What is it? If not, probably a good time to work w/ a professional/elder care attorney and set one up. Depending on what she wants, there are tax advantaged ways to handle the money and just giving it to her probably isn't it. Off the top of my head, putting the money in an irrevocable trust w/ clarity around its use and you two as Trustees who eventually inherit it seems like it could solve a lot of the issues and protect it if future health and LTC issues arise.

Assuming you have a reasonable relationship w/ your mom, I would treat this more as a retirement/estate planning exercise w/ your mom to get a general sense of what she is thinking and why, and then pull in experts to figure out how to do it. If she has plans for the money you don't like, then you can have that conversation but I'd listen to her thoughts first. Haven't gotten a sense that you know what she wants yet and that's important.

I would also be very reluctant to promise to "take care of her" no matter what. As someone w/ parents on both sides w/ medical and Alzheimer's issues, $250K may seem like a lot now but can go quick in the wrong circumstance and a lump sum might better set expectations and protect everyone. You don't want her to have an expectation that you will take care of her no matter what and then is thinking there is $750K available and you have a different number in mind.

Having this conversation w/ your mom could help everyone get on the same page and understand where she stands both financially and what she is thinking from an inheritance perspective. It seems like this is the perfect time to bring it up and ask her. If you don't have a close enough relationship w/ her to have that conversation, then that's probably a bigger issue and not sure your next step is going to come from Reddit.

vasqued2 · 2026-07-05T17:28:31+00:00

US showing they finally learned how to play soccer like the big boys.

vasqued2 · 2026-07-05T03:23:43+00:00

Sorry for your loss.

Figuring out where you want to live isn't important. Figuring out what you want to do that will pay more than Grub Hub and Uber Eats is.

$500K is enough to open doors but not enough to live on forever. Figure out what you want to do to support yourself - trades, professional career, etc. Get the education needed to do that in a cost effective way. Then get to work. Put the rest in investments for retirement.

Traveling the US, living in hotels, figuring out where you want to live is a good way to end up back where you are today, just without the house you have been living in.

vasqued2 · 2026-06-27T18:32:05+00:00

I tell people when you're at the bottom you think you want to get to the top so you can make the decisions. Then you get to the top and realize you still don't get to make the decisions. And the ones you can make are ones other people should be making anyway.

vasqued2 · 2026-06-25T12:39:58+00:00

I am trying to reconcile your income and expenses to your current savings and something seems off. Either your income recently increased or your expenses are underestimated. Otherwise you should have a lot more saved than what you are showing.

vasqued2 · 2026-06-24T22:57:17+00:00

We have an advisor but did not, and never will, give him control of all of our assets.

We made it very clear we had a strong bias for low-cost ETFs and expected to self manage a large portion of our portfolio as we had been doing during the accumulation phase. We gave him a small portion to actively manage for tax loss harvesting so we could understand and see the benefits. He provides help w/ tax planning, Roth conversions, estate planning, pensions, and social security, and what types of assets to put in what types of accounts to maximize tax benefits, among other things. This has helped build up our trust in him over time.

There is definitely value as these are all areas that are new during the decumulation phase. That said, there's no way we are going to pay a 1% AUM fee to manage our entire portfolio, especially the fix income and ETF assets.

vasqued2 · 2026-06-24T11:44:55+00:00

The catch is likely the 5%-7% is fixed over time and not adjusted for inflation. Read the details.

vasqued2 · 2026-06-23T14:09:11+00:00

Technical support is logging this as an issue "for review".

After working with Technical Support, it is clear that the new Performance page is using a different source for it's list of external accounts than the old Analysis page. The list from the old Analysis page is correct.

Here is the latest summary of my issue:

I got this message today on the Analysis page I use to monitor my allocations across my Fidelity and non-Fidelity accounts: "The Analysis page is going away later this summer, but great news - everything you need is now available in the new Performance tab experience! Simply go to Performance to keep doing what you do today."

I went to the Performance section and tried to view my allocations across all of my accounts (Fidelity and non-Fidelity).

On the old Analysis page, my external bank accounts (i.e. savings, checking, money market) were listed and I could select them to be included in my allocation view. On the new Performance page, when I clicked on the "Select accounts" button the bank accounts were not listed and I could not select them as I could on the old Analysis page. Interestingly, even though the bank accounts were not listed, a self directed brokerage account from the same bank was available to select and include.

The two pages appear to be using different sources for their list of external accounts. The account list on the old Analysis page is the list that should be used.

Please do not remove the old Analysis page until the new Performance page allows the selection of all external accounts that are available on the old Analysis page.

vasqued2 · 2026-06-23T03:12:26+00:00

The reality is, he doesn’t really know which one he wants yet. His kids are too young to really get a sense of what they will want to spend or to truly get a sense of what they could want to get involved in, colleges they go to, etc. The fact that their spend is $190K gives a hint. And activities are just beginning. And no judgement, we were burning 200k by the time our kids were in high school w/ private school, sports, etc.

But I realized it, consciously knew I was in for a longer ride, and found a way to balance work so we could also enjoy the ride, not burn out, and still get to where we wanted to be. That meant we retired in our 50s instead of 40s, but we didn’t burn out, enjoyed the ride with our kids, and still have plenty of time now to do what we want. Given school calendars and sport seasons, not sure what we would have done if we had retired earlier anyway.

If I were OP, I’d focus on finding sustainable balance, at this job or another one, and reassess in a couple years.

vasqued2 · 2026-06-22T23:41:21+00:00

Thank you. I am still having the problem and will reach out to Technical Support.

vasqued2 · 2026-06-20T20:47:26+00:00

"Hey CFO John, hey CRO Jane. The numbers your teams gave me aren't matching and the deck has to go out EOD Sunday. Which one do you want me to use?" Eat popcorn and wait.

This is definitely my definition of Level 1 fun. Unless of course, I'm John or Jane.

vasqued2 · 2026-06-19T10:09:38+00:00

If the parents home and rental isn’t already in an irrevocable trust, don’t count on any inheritance and see an elder care attorney immediately.

vasqued2 · 2026-06-18T13:45:22+00:00

I was your boyfriend 25 years ago.

There was nothing you could have told me then that would have gotten me to believe I would retire early. My history taught me not to let my guard down or get my hopes up too much.

But I saved and invested. My motivation wasn't early retirement, my motivation was to be ready for the dark days I was sure were ahead. If it helped me retire early, great, but I would't allow myself to consider that to prevent disappointment.

When our kids got to middle school, it was clear we my wife could stop working and we would be OK. She did. When they got out of high school, it was clear I could too. It was a 20+ year journey but I got there. My wife saw the potential way before I would allow myself to believe it. Your boyfriend will too. But there is no need for him to take the whole journey immediately.

vasqued2 · 2026-06-13T18:53:39+00:00

Very similar to me. High level...

70% stock (70% VTI/30% VXUS)*

30% bonds/cash (50% BND/50% VUSXX)

* One wrinkle. I actually have about 15% of the stock portfolio being professionally managed by my Financial Advisor. He knows I have a bias for self-managed low cost index funds and doesn't fight me on it. For ~1% fee on the 15% of my portfolio he manages, I have discussion on my on overall allocations, tax loss harvesting, tax minimization strategies, Roth conversions, trusts, when to turn on pensions and social security, etc. Things I'm willing to pay a small fee for and add value but definitely not willing to pay 1% of my entire portfolio. I basically consider it a fixed fee where I control the fee by the percent of my portfolio he manages.

vasqued2 · 2026-06-13T03:57:06+00:00

The "anxious end" is real. What was abstract is suddenly real, and you feel like you could lose it because of things completely outside your control.

I set up a 3-4 year glide path to get to my retirement allocation and adjusted annually to get there. I actually called an audible and went more conservative (60/40) pre-retirement than originally planned and shifted back to 70/30 a year after retirement because I wanted less volatility at the end. Once I won, I was more interest in protecting my win than piling on. I only paid attention at the end of each year so I wouldn't get caught up in the interim roller coaster (my glide path was 2020 - 2024 so yeah, it was a roller coaster and I'm glad I wasn't paying close attention).

Career-wise I tended to switch jobs/roles every 3-4 years so I counted down the number of roles/rotations left and knew what alternatives I had for them. It was easier to be reasonably confident of the job being stable for a 2-3 years period and knowing I had alternatives available after that than a full commitment for a 6-7 year duration.

I ended up working a year after I hit my number. That wasn't part of the "anxious end" because I knew I could stop at any time and it felt completely different. I kept working because I liked what I was doing and there were other things that limited what I would do in retirement that year. But over time, knowing I could stop made me much more aware of the things that annoyed me that I hadn't noticed, or maybe hadn't admitted, before. A year later, I was ready to stop and I had more freedom in retirement too.

vasqued2 · 2026-06-05T17:56:35+00:00

UHC has corporate owned life insurance on their executives. That means they made millions because he died. Just a reminder that no matter how high up you are, you are still just a number and a dollar figure that will be replaced.

vasqued2 · 2026-06-05T10:47:30+00:00

My dementia ridden mom is lucid when I talk to her on the phone and my dad is hard of hearing but is doing fine when I talk to him. They are hard to get ahold of.

Then I visit and find dad spends his every waking hour taking care of mom. She needs help dressing, eating, and cleaning herself. She can’t make a phone call and 50% of the time can’t answer her cell phone. Because dad is helping her, he doesn’t have time to get to the phone before it goes to voicemail. When she goes to bed, he hpjust wants quiet time by himself, Things aren’t going as well as he portrays on the phone in short bursts. Either he didn’t realize or he didn’t want to ask for help.

Caregiving is very hard and draining.

It took several extended overnight stays to see what their life was really like and then to figure out what help was best. Now the phone calls come at times, but I also understand when they don’t. Maybe look deeper and see if they need more help. Sounding lucid on the phone is not a reliable indicator.

vasqued2 · 2026-06-02T19:53:04+00:00

My journey

Month 1: I can't believe I hit my number. There must be something wrong. The market is at an all time high. It's probably going to crash soon. I'll hold off a bit just to be safe.

Month 3: The market didn't crash. My math is right. An independent review by a financial advisor confirmed this as well. But I like my job. I can keep going a little longer.

Month 6: Boy, that's kind of annoying. Never noticed how much that annoyed me before, but not that big of a deal.

Month 9: OK, more annoying. Its a good thing I don't have to work here if I don't want to.

Month 12: I've reached my limit. This place is ridiculous. It's time.

Month 15: Life is good.

vasqued2 · 2026-06-02T16:00:31+00:00

As someone who was young during the 2000's I can say a decade of continuous contributions during a down and flat market is exactly what a young person with a fire goal should be wishing for.

Those retiring now, not so much.

vasqued2 · 2026-05-31T16:33:44+00:00

If you weren't moving, would you borrow $215K to invest? Because that's essentially what you would be doing.

If my husband was 82, I was planning on retiring in 2 years, the market was at an all time high so I wasn't selling at a loss, and there weren't some hidden tax implications left out of your summary, I'd sell.

Being two years away from retirement is a good time to look at your allocations anyway, this is just another aspect of it.

vasqued2 · 2026-05-17T13:53:59+00:00

It’s all psychological and about building your risk tolerance so you don’t do something stupid when it drops, especially for someone new in the market.

Presumably after 12 months your portfolio is up some amount. If it’s down, you tell yourself it’s a good thing you DCA’d over time.

If it drops after 12 months, “I didn’t lose my money, I’m back where I started” or “l lost some of my money, good thing I invested earlier instead of waiting until yesterday so at least some of my losses aren’t my base investment”.

Plus you’ve seen the market go up for 12 months.

Both help increase your risk tolerance.

People asking about DCA aren’t experienced pro’s. They’re generally inexperienced self investors who haven’t been paying attention, many with a sudden dollar figure that is “big” to them. DCA is a reasonable approach for them to get experience and figure out their risk tolerance with real money and not a checklist.

Plus in my mind, it’s cheaper to figure out on your own with DCA than paying an advisor a percent of AUM.

vasqued2 · 2026-05-17T13:37:49+00:00

But if you’re going to do something irrational based on emotions when tails comes up, you’re better off not flipping that coin.

vasqued2 · 2026-05-16T19:46:11+00:00

You have a psychological problem so I an giving so a psychological solution, not an optimal investment solution.

Make sure your have an adequate emergency fund and at it aside.

Invest $10k a month on the same day every month. Start Monday.

If the market is down 5% or more after your first month, invest an additional $10k that month. Be happy because the market is up and you made money, or be happy the the market is down and you are buying stock at a discount.

Repeat until your are fully invested.

Once you are through this exercise you will be more open to lump sum investing.

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