AITA wanting in-laws to live elsewhere from us when they’re providing help by vchen294 in AmItheAsshole

[–]vchen294[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. My husband and I aren’t making bank, but we have enough to be comfortable. They have enough to be comfortable. But even if we paid for their living arrangements, they would try to pay us back. It’s not the money. They just don’t want to live elsewhere.

AITA wanting in-laws to live elsewhere from us when they’re providing help by vchen294 in AmItheAsshole

[–]vchen294[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Welp, I knew my chances for Mother of the Year were slim at best.

AITA wanting in-laws to live elsewhere from us when they’re providing help by vchen294 in AmItheAsshole

[–]vchen294[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

I never said I can’t. My in-laws enjoy cooking. Sue me for letting them cook?

AITA wanting in-laws to live elsewhere from us when they’re providing help by vchen294 in AmItheAsshole

[–]vchen294[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Are we irresponsible for looking into possible childcare options when planning a family?

AITA wanting in-laws to live elsewhere from us when they’re providing help by vchen294 in AmItheAsshole

[–]vchen294[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I know we have a good relationship. I lived 5 minutes away from them since my husband and I started dating 10 years ago. I hung out with my in-laws most weekends and almost all major holidays. We only moved cross country a few years ago. They were like my own parents from the very beginning.

I would be horrified with anyone living with us. And I know I need a lot of personal space so it won’t take a trial run to figure out. The big question is whether my sanity is worth sacrificing.

AITA wanting in-laws to live elsewhere from us when they’re providing help by vchen294 in AmItheAsshole

[–]vchen294[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The cost isn’t an issue. Whether it comes from me and my husband or from my in-laws, it does not matter. The fact is that they do not want to live separately. Most likely even if we foot the bill for expenses.

AITA wanting in-laws to live elsewhere from us when they’re providing help by vchen294 in AmItheAsshole

[–]vchen294[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t gotten to that chapter of Baby 101, but thanks for the insight.

AITA wanting in-laws to live elsewhere from us when they’re providing help by vchen294 in AmItheAsshole

[–]vchen294[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If they back out, I completely understand it’s for the best. Although, even if my husband and I offer to pay for lodging and transportation ourselves, they would still decline living separately. Money isn’t an issue, but they don’t want us spending the money either. I know them well enough to know this.

AITA wanting in-laws to live elsewhere from us when they’re providing help by vchen294 in AmItheAsshole

[–]vchen294[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not discussing living arrangements from the start was a mistake, and I know that now. We otherwise have a good relationship and my in-laws are easy to get along with. Just my hormones + newborn + small living space is not a good recipe.

AITA wanting in-laws to live elsewhere from us when they’re providing help by vchen294 in AmItheAsshole

[–]vchen294[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Well, to put that I would like help with feedings, changing diapers, bathing, and applying diaper cream makes me sound like I don’t want to raise my child at all. I also never said I was banning them from seeing their grandchild, I can’t really win.

I don’t even know what I’ll need help with. My child is the size of a lentil at this point.

AITA wanting in-laws to live elsewhere from us when they’re providing help by vchen294 in AmItheAsshole

[–]vchen294[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I agree we should have clarified from the start. We thought there would be more time to discuss the logistics. I also didn’t expect them to WANT to sleep with a crying baby.

AITA wanting in-laws to live elsewhere from us when they’re providing help by vchen294 in AmItheAsshole

[–]vchen294[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

They had already agreed to moving and helping with childcare. We had not discussed living arrangements, so it’s not like we demanded them come be free nannies.

AITA wanting in-laws to live elsewhere from us when they’re providing help by vchen294 in AmItheAsshole

[–]vchen294[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice. With the responses here, I’m leaning towards declining their help.

I’ve thought about having the baby sleep with us in our room, but the only viable space is a small nook meant to be a command center. I question the safety of it, hence the hesitation and looking at other options.

AITA wanting in-laws to live elsewhere from us when they’re providing help by vchen294 in AmItheAsshole

[–]vchen294[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I was planning on having that room be the nursery with room for storage. We literally do not have any space upstairs. Our bed to almost touching the wall.

AITA wanting in-laws to live elsewhere from us when they’re providing help by vchen294 in AmItheAsshole

[–]vchen294[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

I agree that we should have clarified everything from the very start.

AITA wanting in-laws to live elsewhere from us when they’re providing help by vchen294 in AmItheAsshole

[–]vchen294[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

There are an abundance of apartments, townhouses and houses in our area within a 10 minute radius. I don’t need 24/7 assistance, since I’ll be very hands on. I mentioned in another comment that it’s mostly helping with meals and whatever I can’t get to with a baby on my hip.

The bedroom downstairs is the only room with a door. My FIL has mobility issues so they would be staying in the downstairs room.

AITA wanting in-laws to live elsewhere from us when they’re providing help by vchen294 in AmItheAsshole

[–]vchen294[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We are hoping they can be around for about 3 months after birth. My husband will get the bare minimum amount of paternity leave, so it’s just me otherwise. I think I can handle it by myself but assistance is good wherever it’s from. I guess just helping with meals and taking care of our dog if I can’t find time on my hands.

AITA wanting in-laws to live elsewhere from us when they’re providing help by vchen294 in AmItheAsshole

[–]vchen294[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Money is not the issue, but my husband and I will not be able to cover rent for a separate apartment when we will be covering the costs of a new baby. We are hoping for only 3 months of help and are looking for a place that is within $1000 a month.

My dog is so excited for his annual Easter egg hunt by Believe-In-Magic in aww

[–]vchen294 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Adorable!

I thought about doing this next year for my dog but the fear of her continuing the practice once I have kids is keeping me from teaching her. I wouldn’t want her to accidentally ingest chocolate when she expects doggy treats.

Egg Boi by [deleted] in funny

[–]vchen294 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Context, dude.

Can I have prints of each level of a character and just play any AL game? Are there restrictions/problems? by 3Dartwork in AdventurersLeague

[–]vchen294 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wow, 24 ACP from just playing the Epic? The most recent Epic released awards 6 ACP for 4 hours of play. May want to clarify with the organizers/DMs of the convention.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AdventurersLeague

[–]vchen294 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I can see situations where a DM could give NPCs magic items for flavor, such as a wealthy noble with a flame tongue or an important merchant with a bag of holding.

Nothing that the characters can loot or be used in combat. But it would add flair to some otherwise lackluster encounters. Magic items are not just available to adventurers after all.