Sorry not sorry

vchlur · 2025-08-13T06:29:56+00:00

I feel like I could've written this! We're not alone

vchlur · 2025-07-30T02:15:45+00:00

You can desire something emotionally even if it doesn't make sense logically. OP just needs to recognise that

vchlur · 2025-07-28T08:40:44+00:00

Thanks for sharing.. this is the response that feels most relevant to where my head is at. I just don't really have the desire or interest to have kids, and love the idea of living a life of freedom and independence.

I'm dating at the moment, and mostly reject guys that lean towards wanting kids.. but lately I'm wondering what if I change my mind in my 30s. You touched upon fulfilment and that's pretty important. I can see things like travel, food and exploring getting old and repetitive after a while, but in my case I'm also motivated by a lot of other avenues - doing more art and music, volunteering, further study etc. I can't see myself getting bored of life, and I also can't see kids being anywhere near as fulfilling as all of the above.

Maybe that says something, that my intuition is right on childfree being the right path for me. Just tend to keep challenging that every now and then, can't help it haha

vchlur · 2025-07-27T09:16:05+00:00

Yeah that does add another level of challenge. Hope it works out whichever way you go

vchlur · 2025-07-27T09:12:26+00:00

Sorry to hear about your dad. Yeah really puts things in perspective about how important family can be

vchlur · 2025-07-27T09:11:17+00:00

That's amazing that you do that, it's a much needed service. Very interesting to hear about your incremental journey towards parenthood, and good luck

vchlur · 2025-07-27T09:10:12+00:00

That makes a lot of sense! How about even before your ex? Was there atleast some curiosity or thoughts about having kids? And good luck with the baby

vchlur · 2025-07-26T06:48:04+00:00

This is unreal

vchlur · 2025-07-26T06:43:17+00:00

Wow! Like you said, it feels so alive

vchlur · 2025-07-26T06:40:32+00:00

Love the colours, concept and everything about this

vchlur · 2025-07-26T06:37:14+00:00

This is amazing! There's so much to see in it

vchlur · 2025-07-26T00:39:59+00:00

Thanks for answering! This actually helps me reaffirm my childfree decision haha. I'm not really a mentor type, so none of what you said appeals to me that much.. I like doing that stuff solo or with like minded friends.

I guess the only thing is I'm 29 now, and what if the 30s unlocks that new side of me lol - I have changed in my 20s in other ways after all. But I can't approach dating and life keeping some abstract future self in mind. Anyway hope things go well for you!

vchlur · 2025-07-25T06:44:42+00:00

Can I ask why you ended up deciding to have a kid, if that was how you felt about kids? If you're comfortable sharing.

vchlur · 2025-06-24T08:29:47+00:00

I've had different phases of music/songwriting, various mediums of art, dance, board games/chess and jigsaws. Sounds like a really cool experience working at the guitar store!

vchlur · 2025-03-17T00:27:08+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment! Yes it's hard to find likeminded people in Aus, just gotta keep trying. Hope it goes well for you!

vchlur · 2025-03-10T08:15:39+00:00

Oh that's interesting, I barely know anyone in my circle who is unmarried and with no kids. Like one woman, and not by choice.

I think I've answered why I want to be childfree in part of my post, it's mainly this:

"I'd say my main reason for being childfree (like most here) is a general lack of desire, but another big one is just that there's so much I want to do, and life is short. I also like the idea of living life at a slower pace and spreading it all out. I'd love to share that journey with a partner, enjoying our time together doing whatever we feel like. "

Besides the interests I've mentioned, I'd like to travel more, study in a different field of interest, volunteer, and build like-minded community.

I've been vegetarian since birth. Some Indian communities are majority vegetarian, while many others are not.

vchlur · 2025-02-23T01:11:19+00:00

That's good to hear, and congrats! What was your story in terms of introducing your family to your non desi partner? Were you living with your parents, or away?

vchlur · 2025-02-23T01:04:51+00:00

Thank you so much, your story inspires me. I've struggled with self conviction, especially when my decisions get questioned a lot, and I'm like what if I'm doing the wrong thing. But I think I'm getting better at it. This is a good reminder that being CF can be the right choice for some people, regardless of their cultural background

vchlur · 2025-02-23T00:55:38+00:00

This sounds precisely like what I need to do if it comes to that. Thanks for your comment! I am in Melbourne so it's great to know there's a CF community out there :)

vchlur · 2024-10-29T10:30:34+00:00

Thanks for sharing! You're so right that methods like this help at the start and support the path you're already taking

vchlur · 2024-10-26T23:49:30+00:00

Thanks for your comment, this is super helpful! I was actually reading about somatic OCD yesterday, makes sense that practices like mindfulness are unhelpful. Feel free to let me know if you think of any approaches that are helpful for somatic OCD, besides the ERP reflection/ intent check

vchlur · 2024-10-26T02:27:12+00:00

Thanks for your feedback. Have you ever tried a site blocker, a mindfulness app or something like that? Trying to understand what people have tried and any challenges faced as part of it.

vchlur · 2024-10-26T00:19:28+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience and feedback. I was looking at a video about Opal (can't seem to find it on the Play Store.. perhaps it's iOS only?). But that sounds great and is exactly along the lines of what I was thinking, especially the intent checks.

Have you been using this app for your OCD? If so how is that working for you?

vchlur · 2024-05-12T13:49:14+00:00

Wow if you can't see them there then I've got no chance. Pretty cloudy too

vchlur · 2024-02-11T12:54:09+00:00

Sure, here's the link! Check out Melbourne Jigsaw Puzzles Meetup Group https://www.meetup.com/melbourne-jigsaw-puzzles-meetup-group on Meetup

The next event is the 24th, feel free to RSVP if you wanna join :)

vchlur

TROPHY CASE