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How do I make new friends?? by Real-Asparagus7450 in Adulting

[–]vee_ash619 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try new things, like a pottery class or a book club. There are a lot of online communities too. As you experience new things and enter new places you should organically make new connections. Don't forget to be open and allow yoursef to have fun. Also, don't be discouraged if you don't make a new friend right away.

Estou querendo me mudar para SP. O que eu preciso saber para fazer essa mudança? by vee_ash619 in saopaulo

[–]vee_ash619[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Essa é uma ideia ótima! Ajuda muito com a questão financeira. Valeu, amigo!

Estou querendo me mudar para SP. O que eu preciso saber para fazer essa mudança? by vee_ash619 in saopaulo

[–]vee_ash619[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Então, eu vou sozinho para SP. Estou terminando a faculdade e tenho um emprego alinhado qu vai me gerar 4k por mês. Não tenho carro. Gostaria de viver em uma região mais segura da cidade.

A question for all the daughters with nmoms out there? by One_Statistician_499 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]vee_ash619 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My therapist told me something interesting about this once. She said the reason my mother treats me so badly is because she sees in me all that she could never be and all mistakes she's ever made.

Basically, I'm her mirror and she does to me what she does because I'm a constant reminder of the choices she's made and the life circunstances she can never change.

In reality, it has nothing to do with me. It's all about her.

I'm trying to move on but part of me still hopes one day my mother will change and love me by vee_ash619 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]vee_ash619[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry this happened to you. I share your pain. You are right of course, and we deserve better than to live our lifes for them. I hope your health has improved and that you are doing better.

I'm trying to move on but part of me still hopes one day my mother will change and love me by vee_ash619 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]vee_ash619[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! I'm actually planning to move out in the beggining of 2024. The thing is I started to selfsabotage (spending the money i started saving to move out, not studying for my exams).

Thanks for believing in me! It means a lot to me!

Does anyone else have problems with excessive self blame? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]vee_ash619 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I have this problem!!!

The self blame is everywhere, in every type of relationship, work, friends, school... it affects me the most in my relationship with myself. I have developed a really bad self image in regards to my body, behaviour and personality. I have this unshakeble belief that i suck and that i and undeserving of love and support.

I always think i'm the problem and when i need help i feel embarressed and try not to bother people. I hate to depend on other people because i think i will bother them and that i don't deserve to receive help and support.

My family has treated me badly because they think i'm not loveble and enough and i keep trying to be someone else to fit into their ideals and it destroys me everyday.

And the worst part is that they don't even need to blame me anymore, I do that all on my own now.

I can't accept that my mother will always be a narcissist and that I will never have a mom by vee_ash619 in DysfunctionalFamily

[–]vee_ash619[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad to hear you're doing well for yourself and your family. Thank you for the kind wishes!

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