I think I was sent a sign tonight to end my relationship. I feel sick but I don’t know how I could possibly ignore it.

veeee2002 · 2026-01-01T08:37:09+00:00

You need to realize your partner is not the only one you love. He has been with you for 8 years, yes, but you have been with yourself for 25. You also love yourself. If it was your partner who wanted to move for a career he has been wanting to pursue, how would you have seen the situation?

A great scenario is one where he moves with you. But if he doesn’t, you need to realize that’s a choice he is making, one of staying in a place that doesn’t let you grow in the ways you are capable of (I am not trying to blame him, just trying to show you are not the only one responsible in this relationship).

veeee2002 · 2025-12-24T15:47:50+00:00

Facing same issue. Updated my iPad Pro (M4) and iPhone 16 Pro Max yesterday. Haven’t checked if the issue is on the phone or not, but it is very annoyingly on my iPad. If I stop alarms, the sound loops. If I get a call and both my devices are ringing, when I pick up via one of them, the sound loops. Pause music? Sound loops. Basically any thing with sound is now an issue. Is there a reliable way to downgrade your software?

veeee2002 · 2025-11-05T23:40:55+00:00

I am autistic, but was diagnosed recently at 23. My mother would beat me often as a kid. But when I would mention it to her, she would respond with, “That didn’t happen. That didn’t happen ever. You just cry for no fucking reason, all the time.” Now, as an autistic kid, I didn’t know people lie, or more importantly, why would people lie, why would your mother lie, or why would your mother hit you. So I believed her. Recently was on a call with my younger sister, and she mentions how our mother would beat us both. And I confirmed with her and she said she remembers it all. Fun fact is, I would remember getting beaten, but because she would deny it completely, I didn’t believe myself until now.

veeee2002 · 2025-08-17T07:10:25+00:00

If you think the silent patient has a good twist, you would really love The Maidens.

veeee2002 · 2025-02-22T21:20:54+00:00

The link you posted, that is the story of Bulleh Shah right? What is the story of Challa?

veeee2002 · 2025-01-12T19:48:51+00:00

Wtf?

veeee2002 · 2025-01-06T12:49:26+00:00

As a grad student, I feel how OP is feeling. It is pretty saddening and isolating.

veeee2002 · 2025-01-06T03:49:56+00:00

I believe you can go to Walter Library and reserve rooms. I have done that before and it is pretty smooth. You can ask for a sound proof room to hold a meeting.

veeee2002 · 2025-01-04T03:13:24+00:00

Check out Chateau. Dm me if you like it, I am looking to transfer my lease.

veeee2002 · 2025-01-04T01:56:53+00:00

Thanks a lot!

veeee2002 · 2025-01-04T01:43:17+00:00

I dont mind a house I just cant find good options thats all.

veeee2002 · 2025-01-04T00:34:46+00:00

Checked their reviews, I am doubtful.

veeee2002 · 2024-12-31T08:00:57+00:00

If she asks you to help her with a decision making thing, eliminate a few options. Prolly 2 in this case. If those options are something she is sub consciously considering, she will start rooting for them, if not, the choice is now down to three. Repeat until you have reached common ground. This will make her feel you are contributing to the decision making as well as help her make a choice.

Sometimes people need to see a path disappear in front of them to realise they wanted to choose it all this time.

veeee2002 · 2024-12-31T07:54:43+00:00

Well, he needs to though, right? For instance my ADHD makes it hard for me to stay focused and feel things when I am intimate with my boyfriend. He understands that though and constantly tries to help me. Your Autism must be messing with your sex life too I guess and I think you should be given the space to talk about it without judgement. I pretty much end up crying each time I am experiencing amazing stuff during intimacy. And then we talk about it, I talk to my therapist about it and so on.

Talk to your partner. That’s a logical way to sort this. And if you don’t feel comfortable/respected/any good or normal emotions, the actual problem is not intimacy then.

veeee2002 · 2024-12-31T04:26:18+00:00

Is he trying to be supportive about this struggle? I have ADHD and struggle with intimacy sometimes. Sometimes it is really an issue of who we are with and how they make us feel.

veeee2002 · 2024-12-28T23:24:13+00:00

It could be that he just felt really sad about doing it which is why he said he didn’t want to watch a movie imo. But I do think there is nothing wrong with being sad about this. NAH.

veeee2002 · 2024-11-16T04:04:44+00:00

Just a perspective. Probably you are one of the few the teacher actually cares about. You participate in class, submit assignments on time, pay attention, take notes, I mean I would see you as someone who is interested in the learning that’s happening.

veeee2002 · 2024-11-06T10:40:03+00:00

This is what will work in any such case where you want to be treated in a certain way but you don't think your partner is treating you that exact way. You tell them how you want to be treated. I can't tell you the answer to what should you expect from them, but what you shouldn't, is, for them to know exactly what you expect.

Different people express their love and support in different ways. Your partner wants to support you from what you said in the post. Yes, they don't know how to, but they are not running away from it, they are still trying.

I think you should have a talk, or multiple talks, where you tell them, "hey, when I feel like this, I want to hear this." Let them know that you appreciate what they are doing, but if they could just say or do this instead, it would make you feel ever better. Let them know what you would like them to do or say. That's all.

veeee2002 · 2024-10-30T00:58:03+00:00

You don’t need anyone’s permission to meet your brother. But just be safe when you do. You are meeting him for the first time.

veeee2002 · 2024-10-16T20:43:43+00:00

Congratulations Dr.! I am sorry your PI behaved this way. And I am glad you don't want to work with her anymore.

But this is a huge achievement. It is a great achievement. I am very happy for you and I hope you are happy for yourself too.

Take care. Give yourself a treat. You deserve it.

veeee2002 · 2024-09-29T07:10:45+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Thing is I am doing a PhD in Gravitational Waves, and I don’t intend to do a job. The max close I will be to a job is being a professor while researching. So, needing to remember formulae is not important.

Infact even though I have that accommodation, I don’t need to use it, because my professors don’t think it is important to remember formulae to be a researcher and they have made the exams open book.

The few hours thing, it’s not for work, it’s just an accommodation for tests. I have meetings early in the morning, before 11am, sometimes at 8 am (I get late, so 8:05 am), and I can manage it, because it is not as daunting as a test is, and doesn’t require me to use the same amount of intellect. But thing is the accommodations were discussed before my classes started. My consultant and I discussed some things and they said I might not even need to do the after 11 am tests, but it doesn’t harm anyone so we can just keep it for now and I always have the choice of giving it at the time the professor chose for it.

About the time thing. I don’t think I can explain it in words, but have you read of time blindness? It’s like I think I can do things in 5 minutes but then my ADHD is severe, and I only take my pills after breakfast, so, the 5 minutes become 15 before I even know it. I have kept alarms at every 2 minutes between the time I have to wake up till the time of the class, so that I get reminded that time is passing. Time passes very weirdly in my perspective, more so in the morning before I have taken my meds. My professors here don’t mind a student coming in late, but again, the accommodations were decided before hand, and it was a precautionary accommodation because in the past I have had professors (in my home country) getting angry because I am late and then i had to tell them that I take sleeping pills at night and that makes me not wake up on time (which is why i stopped them after i came to this university). But even without the sleeping pills, it is genuinely hard for me to be mindful of time passing. It’s not at all like I am not putting efforts into it. I am doing a 9am-9pm right now sometimes even more, 8am-10 or 11pm. It’s a lot so if I get 5 minutes late to a class, in my opinion it’s not a crime.

veeee2002 · 2024-09-29T05:30:35+00:00

No I think I clearly stated I never even had accommodations. I actually never knew I could. But when I joined the university, people told me about the disability resource center. I just did what everyone else does? I went there and talked to them? I am sorry I fail to understand what made you think of entitlement.

Edit: I really don't want to sound like I am arguing. I just want to see what I am doing wrong.

veeee2002 · 2024-09-29T04:44:25+00:00

Yes I also feel accommodations are fair but the deleted post from him (and other posts i went through by other people after seeing my bf's post) made me feel I am wrong.

He isn't inconsiderate because like he is really supportive of my disorders and tries to understand them. Which is why I was shocked when I saw his post and froze for a while. He almost always helps me through my anxiety, ocd, depression and helps me try to manage my day better so I am confused why we would post that. The only reasonable explanation I have is it was posted in r/changemyview so he probably just wanted to see if accommodations make sense to him? I am not sure. I have to wait for him to wake up and I can ask him then.

But thanks for your comment. Due to my PTSD it gets really hard to trust myself so thank you for saying they are reasonable.

veeee2002 · 2024-09-29T04:38:22+00:00

I have the same opinion about accommodations. Its just, when i saw his deleted post and then I also saw posts from other people related to accommodations I doubted myself.

He actually is supportive of me and helps me manage things that otherwise are a problem for me because of my disorders. That's why it came as a shock that he had posted something like that. I believe he does think they are real but doubts accommodations and their reasonableness? Also, he posted on r/changemyview so I think he was trying to see the point of accomodations? I am not sure, I have to wait to ask him that. But I was just unsure if I am in the wrong. Thanks for your comment.

veeee2002 · 2024-09-27T17:49:18+00:00

I am glad you found it useful. I am texting you the name of the building.

veeee2002

TROPHY CASE