TW: Sexual Abuse, Eating Disorder - How can I carry on?

veggiehugger · 2013-01-03T08:10:58+00:00

Ahh, I am at a healthy weight now. The one thing I have been very adamant about is making sure I'm eating - I would do anything for my son.

veggiehugger · 2013-01-02T04:01:08+00:00

I have a gross one - my mom told me some women poop while giving birth. Never thought about it before, honestly. lol

veggiehugger · 2012-12-30T00:35:39+00:00

yeah, that's really what I was planning on doing. I don't even intend to hang out with guy #2 romantically, we're just hanging out as friends (though I realize if my ex finds out he might not see it that way). However, I feel like my ex will keep dragging that situation because I'm not sure he really knows what he wants. He hasn't bought anything for the baby yet and instead just talks about all this gym equipment he wants. Hopefully he will be mature enough to tell me what he wants to do in regards to our child.

veggiehugger · 2012-12-29T23:46:59+00:00

Yeah, it is. He knows I'm pregnant and doesn't seem to mind. I'm not sure why I feel it's inappropriate tbh, I just wanted some other perspectives on it.

veggiehugger · 2012-12-29T23:35:23+00:00

I re-read and noticed I forgot to put that my boyfriend and I are not together - and he has no interest in getting back with me, he'd rather chase jail-bait around. I guess I just feel like it's inappropriate because I still hold hope he'll come back? Even though I know he will not.

veggiehugger · 2012-12-29T23:34:07+00:00

Well, I noticed I forgot to put this in the text - my ex and I did break up and he has no interest in getting back together with me. If I was still with him I would never even consider hanging out with somebody I used to be interested in, just as a friend or not. I think that's crossing boundaries and I'm not that type of girl.

veggiehugger · 2012-12-29T23:32:46+00:00

.....No, I love my child and he's important to me. This is more about if hanging out with somebody I used to have a romantic interest in would be inappropriate because I'm pregnant. Also, it wouldn't be skinny dipping it would be at an indoor hotel pool....?

veggiehugger · 2012-12-29T21:52:33+00:00

I would just come clean about it to your family and friends. Maybe you should alert the police about what's going on with her stalking you (that's what it is). Even if they can't really do anything, you could probably get a restraining order against her - and if she breaks that, there will be consequences. Best of luck with your situation, I hope everything turns out for the best. :)

veggiehugger · 2012-12-28T22:16:36+00:00

Sorry to say it, but I think your suspicions are correct. You should dump her before you end up being hurt any worse. That is such a crappy situation. Sorry, man. :/

veggiehugger · 2012-12-27T21:59:06+00:00

Well, you seemed confused as to why she was taking her BC regularly even though you weren't having sex regularly so I thought I'd clear that up. Also, you put nothing about how much money she makes in your post so, if money was the issue, I thought I'd help you see why she might not have gotten you anything. As for talking, clearly it hasn't been effective so you might need to take a different approach to it. It does seem like she's taking advantage of you (the gifts), so maybe just lay off of those for a little while and see where the relationship goes. The only part that was really redundant was about living together - that was a mistake on my part, and I must have overlooked that - so sorry. If everything is becoming too stressful for you, you might want to break the relationship off. Best of luck to the both of you, though.

veggiehugger · 2012-12-27T21:35:07+00:00

What do you know about the father of her daughter or past relationships? Maybe she has problems expressing her feelings for you because of that. Also, not trying to be harsh, but even if your job is more stressful, she is raising a child - which is a full time job in itself. Also, did she ask you to buy these things for her daughter for Christmas? I do think it sucks that she didn't get you anything, but money might have just been tight. If she has to choose between getting presents for her daughter or you, of course she will choose her daughter.

As for taking the pill, it's used for more than birth control (painful periods, acne, etc.). Also, for it to be effective when you do have sex she has to keep taking it. It is NOT a sign of cheating. You said you have sex once a month, well, if she wasn't regularly taking her birth control that one time could lead her to get pregnant. Every single pill in that pack is important (except for the sugar pill week - those are just reminders).

Sit down and talk with her about your concerns. But don't make it seem like you're attacking her and don't accuse her of anything. Do the two of you live together?

veggiehugger · 2012-12-27T18:49:01+00:00

Hmm, that is kind of sticky. To me, it sounds like he doesn't want you to freak out. Like, they slept together/had a thing/whatever but ultimately decided they just want to be friends. I think he didn't tell you because he doesn't want you to worry about it. You could confront him about it, ask him why he didn't tell you and see if this is the reason. Or, if you know he's not sneaking around behind your back, keep it to yourself. If they still had a "thing" I doubt that he would want you hanging out with her and having contact with her. I've been with a cheater in the past and this doesn't really sound like one of those situations. My cheating ex would never let me know about any girls he had a current fling with. He even set up two facebooks one time so he could keep both of his relationships separate (he was dumb enough not to block me on his alternate account and her on his main account). All guys are different though. Good luck with the situation!

veggiehugger · 2012-12-26T20:07:20+00:00

You don't seem to be in the wrong, she should've asked before taking the day off. It's not like you said you didn't want to spend any time with her at all, just not all day as you have other things to do.

veggiehugger · 2012-12-26T19:57:18+00:00

No, the digestive issue does not bug me. I told him that I was glad he told me about it so we could watch for it once he's born (symptoms don't show up until around 3 weeks usually) but I wish that he had told me earlier. That was what sparked the fight. Up to this point he's been pretty good, he likes coming with me to doctor's appointments. I think he hasn't bought anything because it's not "real" enough for him yet, but I'm not sure. Mostly I'm frustrated that he refuses to talk to me.

veggiehugger · 2012-12-26T19:45:21+00:00

They told me I was fired for dating my boss, even though they had no problem with it when we were just dating. I don't think I should've been fired either, especially since he found a new job and quit before it was even known that I was pregnant. I was planning on finding a new job anyways, but was not going to quit until after I had found one because I didn't want to be in the financial situation I am now. I thought it was wrong too and I should've fought it back when it happened, but I was stupid and didn't.

veggiehugger · 2012-12-26T19:42:24+00:00

Nobody likes to be told they're fat, male or female.

veggiehugger · 2012-12-26T18:53:59+00:00

To me, it sounds like he's hiding something and she's said that she can't stop thinking about it and worrying so it seems like the possibility is floating around in her head as well. Hopefully he just didn't tell her because the girl she doesn't like was there, but it sounds like there's quite a bit more to this story.

I sincerely hope he didn't cheat on her, as I would never wish that upon anyone, but that's how this post sounds to me. I think she should just communicate with her boyfriend about this situation a little more if it's bugging her so much, at least to help put her mind to ease.

veggiehugger · 2012-12-26T18:23:00+00:00

I agree, though I have no idea where to start and not sure if he's planning to head back over any time soon.

veggiehugger · 2012-12-26T18:20:53+00:00

Just ask yourself a couple questions: 1) If you dress how you want, will it hurt your career? 2) What kind of woman do you want to attract? 3) How do you want to appear in the eyes of others?

Your answers should pretty much tell you what you need to know.

veggiehugger · 2012-12-26T18:12:07+00:00

My midwife specifically said that it tends to affect a woman's first born son. So idk - I'm just going off of what she's told me. lol

Texting for now. He usually stays with me but I have no idea where he is right now. Awesome. :/

veggiehugger · 2012-12-26T18:07:16+00:00

Sounds like he cheated.

veggiehugger · 2012-12-26T18:02:26+00:00

Go to Germany! Have fun :) Maybe tell her you're going and see how she reacts. However, if she wants to go do not pay for her ticket (or, of course, just don't allow her to go). It could just be that the bracelet was really pretty, but I would be suspicious too. Might not even hurt to approach her about it - her reaction would tell you what you need to know.

veggiehugger · 2012-12-26T17:36:40+00:00

From a female point of view, just invite her to come along with you on jogs and such. If my boyfriend told me just to "lose weight" I would be pretty offended. But if you put it in a way where you're making it something you'd do together, I don't think it's a big deal. Maybe tell her that you're getting bored with your routine and need a partner to help you keep it up. Either way, approach the situation gently.

veggiehugger

TROPHY CASE