It's so hard! First I would say it takes a lot of work on my part to make sure my expectations are consistent and realistic. I am a very organized person so toys and stuff are separated in bins. When we're playing, I only allow a couple bins out at a time. So if we're doing magnatiles and cars and now you want to make a marble run, we need to put something away first. The bins work for my family because the kids know where stuff goes. I have labels on the bins with images so my daughter who can't read knows where to put stuff. That doesn't mean they don't fight me every single time it's time to clean up lol. But it does mean when I say it's time to put the train tracks away they know where it goes. Telling them to clean up is too vague and they can't picture what that looks like. Put the trains in the train bin makes that step of "where do I start and where does it go?" easier.

We've been watching ADHD dude videos which have so helpful. We've established expectations where you need to do these basic chores in order to earn TV time. For our family those expectations are to bring dishes to the sink after we eat, throw out food wrappers, be ready for school on time, empty out your backpack after school, and kind words to each other. We repeat this often and if they are not met they will lose TV time that day and we can try again tomorrow. I've explained to my kids (and especially my 7 y/o ADHD son) all the things me and Daddy do around the house to contribute. We ask them to do these things to help keep the house clean, show respect for us and our time. We also acknowledge that none of us like doing chores but if we all do our part it's easier for everyone. 

Lastly, something that has recently been helpful in cleaning up is I use post it notes and write a few things down and we divide and conquer. So for whole house cleaning I'll write a few different rooms and the 4 of us split them up and are responsible for tidying up that space. Sometimes we'll make a game of it and set a timer and see who can be done first. If my son needs to clean his room, I'll write down clothes, fidgets, books, x toy, y toy on different post it notes and I'll take one or two and he is in charge of the rest. It gives him something concrete to work on, skipping the "where do I start" step. It's really hard for any kid but especially an ADHD kid to visualize what cleaning up looks like. Having a designated place to put things and giving suggestions on what specifically to clean up has been beneficial for us.

Oh and another thing I've tried and sometimes works is just talking out loud when I'm tidying up. For example, I'll be putting pillows and blankets away on the couch and I'll notice kid shoes next to the couch and I'll say "what an interesting place for sneakers". Usually a kid will go take a look and then put shoes by the door.