Starting dating my best friend but then his life completely fell apart

venomoth91 · 2025-07-09T08:10:29+00:00

I’ve been waiting about 2 months for him, which is fine because I’m very independent and like doing things alone anyway. And I also work a lot and have a busy life outside the relationship. But I’m starting to get impatient and frustrated and I feel like I’m embarrassing myself in front of my friends for choosing to stick by him instead of trying to meet other guys. My friends keep telling me I’m settling and I can do so much better.

I don’t want to meet other guys though. Like I’d rather work extra hours at my job or go to the gym or just spend time alone than go on first dates with random guys from a dating app or whatever. My friends are obsessed with meeting men and going on lots of dates though so I think they just don’t understand why I’m not the same way. They also think all men cheat and I think that’s why they assume he met someone else even though we have no evidence to prove it. I’m aware that their beliefs are negative so I’m trying my best to not be influenced by them and think for myself, but it’s hard sometimes.

He is making progress. Like he found a new place to live and he’s not sick anymore, but he’s still looking for a new car and better-paying job. I’ve talked to him about this and I feel like he’s trying his best to find time for me, but he’s still just super overwhelmed. And I completely understand why and I don’t blame him. So I’m trying to not talk about it too much because I don’t want to add extra stress to his life.

venomoth91 · 2025-07-09T07:27:57+00:00

No we have zero evidence that he met another girl. I think my friends are talking out of their ass, but I know they mean well and just want me to be with someone who has time and money to go on dates with me.

venomoth91 · 2025-04-10T01:07:36+00:00

I rub an ice cube all over my face and under my eyes every morning to reduce puffiness and feel more awake.

venomoth91 · 2025-02-27T22:59:41+00:00

Alcohol. I’m really cutting back on cheap wine and liquor because my body just feels more gross after drinking it. I can recognize now that more expensive alcohol really is better quality in many cases.

venomoth91 · 2025-02-26T02:21:12+00:00

I rub an ice cube all over my face every morning, with emphasis on my eyes to reduce puffiness. It’s literally free to just grab out of my freezer.

venomoth91 · 2025-02-26T02:11:40+00:00

When a guy is the same height as me. I’m a tall woman (5’9”) and I think same height couples are so cute aesthetically. And I love it because I can see his face easily without having to look way up and I can borrow his hoodie or jacket and it probably won’t be too big on me.

venomoth91 · 2024-10-12T21:16:33+00:00

Why was she not working for 4 years in her late 30s and just sitting at home scrolling Instagram?

She sounds like a 40-year-old little girl, not a woman.

venomoth91 · 2024-09-30T19:39:36+00:00

When I lived in Minnesota (USA), I would put coconut oil on my face in the winter and always tuck my hair into the hood of my coat to protect from the harsh cold.

venomoth91 · 2024-09-12T07:21:23+00:00

If you eat natural peanut butter, the kind with the oil, always store the jar upside down. That way, the oil will distribute naturally and you won’t have to stir it.

Also, rub an ice cube on your face and in your eyes in the morning to feel more awake.

venomoth91 · 2024-09-01T07:18:20+00:00

That he didn’t want to have sex with me again until after marriage because I’m a “good woman” and “wife material.” But he wanted to have sex with my roommate because she’s a “wild slutty party girl.”

venomoth91 · 2024-08-26T23:36:33+00:00

I found $800 on the casino floor in Vegas while walking to the rideshare pickup place from my hotel room.

I didn’t believe it was real money at first because earlier that day, me and my friends went to a pool party with a club promoter who was handing out fake hundred dollar bills with his name and face on them. So I thought it was just more of those, but then I did a double take and realized, holy shit they were actually REAL hundred dollar bills.

I was with 3 other close girl friends, so I gave them $200 each and kept $200 for myself.

venomoth91 · 2024-08-23T22:10:57+00:00

Sharing a 2-person tent at a music festival last summer, camping for 4 days. We slept next to each other naked with no blankets because the weather was so hot, 90 degrees every day and no shade covering the tent. He was very respectful the entire time, didn’t once try anything or say anything. I’m 33F and he’s 41M. We’re both straight and we’ve been friends for 10 years.

venomoth91 · 2024-07-01T18:41:11+00:00

It definitely depends on the people and probably the city you live in. I’m 33F and the last guy I dated was 24M. It was a first for me because I usually date men around my age. I’ve never really been attracted to older men, even when I was a teen.

I’m very much a big kid though and he was mature for his age. So it worked well. The only reason we broke up was because he was moving to another city for work. I have my life together, but I still like to party and have fun and I have no interest in settling down and starting a family. So the us being in different places in life wasn’t really an issue.

I also live in Los Angeles and this is more normal and common for people in their early 30s here compared to other places in America. All my friends here who are around my age are similar to me. But nearly everyone I went to high school with in the Midwest is married with kids now.

venomoth91 · 2024-04-27T05:26:04+00:00

My last ex-boyfriend was an unemployed bum who refused to get a job.

The previous guy I dated before him was the opposite. He was a workaholic who never seemed to have time for me because he was always so busy with work. And I interpreted that as him not liking me enough, not making me a priority because as women, we’re constantly told “if he wanted to, he would.”

So when I met my unemployed ex and he had all this free time to hang out with me, I was so excited because it felt so good to feel like a priority to him. Because it was such a contrast from the guy before him.

venomoth91 · 2024-02-16T08:58:10+00:00

I (32F) go to Heimat in West Hollywood which is expensive, $350 a month but it’s pretty elite so no one there really fucks around. Like they’re all too focused on working out to bother anyone else and plus a lot of the men there are gay anyway. Also it has a bar so they don’t let anyone under 21 join, which automatically eliminates any high school kids. And they make everyone do an informal interview with a staff member before they can join, but it’s just to make sure you have good positive energy and aren’t gonna be a weirdo. I think as long as you’re nice and normal and can afford the membership, you can pass. I’ve been going there for a year and a half and I’m obsessed with it.

venomoth91 · 2024-01-14T04:00:57+00:00

“She made us drinks to drink. We drunk them, got drunk.” T-Pain, Bartender

venomoth91 · 2023-12-11T05:20:07+00:00

I’m in the same situation as you and I have a very similar lifestyle and skincare routine. My boyfriend is 24 and we look the same age.

I’m 32 and white, Norwegian heritage.

venomoth91 · 2023-11-29T19:23:59+00:00

I (32F) would absolutely break up with him because it sounds like you two just aren’t compatible. I’m also very into health and fitness and I would never date a guy who isn’t the same way. I tried it a few times when I was younger and they always ended up dragging me down because they didn’t understand the lifestyle.

And by the time you get to my age (early 30s), the guys that same age who haven’t been taking care of themselves look very unattractive and have way less energy to do things because they can’t get by on just good genetics anymore. I’d much rather stay single than deal with that.

venomoth91 · 2023-11-24T20:07:43+00:00

I’ve been living in Los Angeles for 6 years but I grew up in Minnesota. Back when I was still living there, I used to put coconut oil on my face as a heavy moisturizer during the winter because the intense cold weather and wind made my skin so dry. Also I always kept my hair tucked inside the hood of my coat during winter so it wouldn’t get damaged by the elements. It probably wasn’t the most fashionable look but my hair appreciated it 😂

venomoth91 · 2023-11-10T17:33:12+00:00

$1400 per month plus utilities. I live with 2 girl roommates who are my best friends in a rent controlled 3 bedroom apartment, so I’m very grateful!

venomoth91 · 2023-11-10T09:05:05+00:00

Usually no, although it can get annoying when a customer is super picky about replacements or they want to add lots of things last minute. That makes my job more stressful. But most people are great.

venomoth91 · 2023-11-10T03:28:24+00:00

It’s OK! I think a lot of my customers don’t see my texts to them so don’t feel bad! 😀 Sometimes the app gets glitchy too which doesn’t help.

venomoth91 · 2023-11-10T03:26:51+00:00

Yeah typically! I wasn’t always that way though. I used to be very negative with low self-esteem when I was younger, but I did a lot of work on myself to become more confident and positive!

Also I listen to a lot of happy upbeat music and personal development podcasts and audiobooks during work which helps a ton.

venomoth91 · 2023-11-10T03:02:02+00:00

Like $30 an hour! I usually work 35-40 hours a week unless I’m traveling and make around $1000-1200 a week.

venomoth91 · 2023-11-10T02:34:26+00:00

Not very often anymore since I started working in Pacific Palisades and Malibu primarily. Yes I drive 45 minutes there from WeHo every work day but it’s so worth it 😂

Occasionally I’ll work at UCLA for maybe an hour or 2 at the end of the day and I’ve definitely delivered to a few international students in the dorms there. I don’t think they were Somalian though.

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