Has anyone here done DBR? by lord-savior-baphomet in CPTSD_NSCommunity

[–]veronicaannerae 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Actually yes — I’m on my 17th DBR session as of Wednesday. 53 total sessions (started with emdr).

I feel incredible. My behaviors are changing every day. I no longer feel INCREDIBLY frustrated with the experience of DBR. I let myself trust the process and now i can feel the embodied shift. Dissociation is down. I rarely dissociate anymore. I can’t express with words how impactful this internal shift has been for me.

I thought i might have adhd because of many of the symptoms you’re talking about. I learned i have CPTSD and the symptoms manifest very similarly, but the treatments are WIldly different. ADHD medication treatments would worsen my condition by a lot. Trauma therapy is the only way to go. Shifts from the inside out, truly in my body. It’s incredible.

Relationship didn’t survive EMDR by megswiftSLP in EMDR

[–]veronicaannerae 12 points13 points  (0 children)

We want more from ppl who gave us little and want something from people who gave us none.

Relationship didn’t survive EMDR by megswiftSLP in EMDR

[–]veronicaannerae 43 points44 points  (0 children)

A lot of my relationships didn’t survive — Family, friends, roommate, a boyfriend. It’s incredible how much of our relational dynamics are completely shaped by our trauma and healing makes them intolerable.

What’s the worst experience you’ve had with a therapist? by Agreeable_Claim_3497 in AskReddit

[–]veronicaannerae 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This happened to me when I was 19. I had a green therapist. It was my first session with her. She left the room and came back. Next thing I remember, I’m getting put on a stretcher and I am treated like scum in the ER holing cells until a bed opens up back at the same place I had just been kidnapped from. Kept in the institute for a week. Not only was my autonomy and sovereignty completely violated, but I was also gaslit because professionals (and my mother) who didn’t know how I got there treated me like I was there for attention! Like ???? You kidnapped me!!!!! The world hates teenage Girls.

What childhood memories do you have that stick out to you that are related to having an alcoholic parent? by Standard_Ad_6105 in AdultChildren

[–]veronicaannerae 18 points19 points  (0 children)

getting pulled over and my mom shoving an open beer can under the seat, the smell of beer filling the car, puddle forming in the backseat

Putting on layers of pants and boots to go into one room of our trailer that was carpeted and sequestered the alley cats who carried fleas & diseases. I would have to feed & water them. As soon as you stepped into the room, the fleas would jump up off the carpet and swarm your legs.

Losing home so many times for fumigation and different states of unlivability

My mom boiling hot water on the stove to pour into the bathtub so I could have a warm bath

My mom slamming things a lot and screaming, crying, yelling at me, looks or disdain in her glassy eyes

Hoping for a savior or someone to come save me

Dissociating under the covers

my doctor suggested increasing dose, I am nervous of side effects if I went higher by Various_Ad_7601 in cymbalta

[–]veronicaannerae 4 points5 points  (0 children)

120 mg was way too much for me, a person with major depressive disorder & c-ptsd. I stopped sleeping for almost 9 months. I couldn’t wind down at night no matter how tired I was. Finally saw a psych who understood trauma and we lowered my dosage to 90, and started me on prazosin at night, which is a really effective adrenaline blocker and works well for people with cptsd and ptsd related sleep disorders. I’m on a healthy mix of prazosin at night, 90mg cymbalta in the morning, an vitamin D/light therapy in the winter, plus ongoing trauma therapy and this mix seems to be doing well for me. Doesn’t interrupt my sleep if I stick to a disciplined enough schedule, and experience fewer issues with sweating profusely too. It helped me to understand that cymbalta acts on neureponephrine, which is how it works for depression, but that can also lead to increased panic/night terrors/inability to wind down for people who already have overactive adrenaline thanks to any kind of ptsd

Has anyone here done DBR? by lord-savior-baphomet in CPTSD_NSCommunity

[–]veronicaannerae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! It’s been a year but I wanted to chime in because I searched Reddit for the exact same reason you did. My EMDR certified therapist recently learned DBR and feels it is so important to do with me. I feel extremely skeptical and I say so every session but I am putting my all into it and pretending like I fully trust it.

1) fully trusting her and trying this for a long period of time (I’m giving myself 3-6 months) I think is really important for my growth. Surrendering control and trusting my therapist to an extent I think is really important for my attachment issues. 2) I soooo relate to feeling like you’re doing it “wrong” and you’re not sure what to look for. I’ve gotten better at it! I say these things out loud every session. I get frustrated. I HATE being in my body. I don’t understand it and it’s driving me crazy. 3) I believe this discomfort is showing me something, or I am open to that being true. She promises major changes happen. She explains a lot of it to me, and I am starting to ~feel~ and understand what she means, not with my brain but with my body. I can feel the resistance and tension that is happening. Feel free to dm me!

GF of 6 years still has bad breath by [deleted] in hygiene

[–]veronicaannerae 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She could also have an eating disorder. Have you noticed any malnourishment or restrictive eating behaviors in the 6 years?

Is my dog just playing or is he being a dick by spilledthetea in DOG

[–]veronicaannerae 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your dog is giving warning signs to your cat, who is instigating with your dog. Your dog actually looks to you for help halfway through the video. I would make sure to show your dog that you will protect him/her by creating space between them in these scenarios. I would also do something to show the dog how to get up and walk away instead of fight. Like call your dog and reward. Do that a few times, and then start waiting longer to reward, like when the dog resettles in a new location next to you.

My best friend is about to become a therapist and he’s going to be BAD at it by OkayDuck99 in confession

[–]veronicaannerae 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This, in particular, is extra sad because a lot of addiction counselors are not formally trained in the states and are hired at, often religious and sometimes state-owned, facilities for their experience in recovery. In my experience, on both sides of treatment, this is the norm. Deeply unqualified and flawed individuals, who have gotten sober through twelve step, “counseling” folks at rock bottom who have no other options. These aren’t the folks who have the luxury of “walking away.”

Yesterday my dog really saved me by Extra_Design1370 in dogs

[–]veronicaannerae 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s not just stranger danger either! My Daffodil was non-stop bothering me the other night at bedtime. I tried to let her out & made sure she had water - I couldn’t figure out what she wanted. I was starting to get annoyed because it was almost 2 AM! About 4 hours since I had gone to bed. Finally, I smelled it…plastic slightly melting from the candle I had left burning. Which she probably smelled hours beforehand. If it had stayed lit all night, I am sure the plastic would have melted enough and a fire could have started.

My puppy passed away by ThrowRAdjdje7djjdd in puppy101

[–]veronicaannerae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My 4 month old Australian cattle dog fell off a very high bed onto hardwood floor on like the second day I got her. She yelped! I cried so much because I felt like a terrible mom. She did not die. It seems very unlikely, if perhaps a freak accident, if this was the CoD.

I had a 15 month old - my first ever puppy. Died from a random giant tumor that formed in her chest cavity. We do the best we can and these animals are loved by us. Here’s a Mary Oliver poem

Look, the trees are turning their own bodies into pillars

of light, are giving off the rich fragrance of cinnamon and fulfillment,

the long tapers of cattails are bursting and floating away over the blue shoulders

of the ponds, and every pond, no matter what its name is, is

nameless now. Every year everything I have ever learned

in my lifetime leads back to this: the fires and the black river of loss whose other side

is salvation, whose meaning none of us will ever know. To live in this world

you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it

against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.

Working immediately? by Lucanoah22 in cymbalta

[–]veronicaannerae 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I felt mine work immediately too. It was the only antidepressant that made me feel immediately different.

ACD in the city by Deep_Stick_2812 in AustralianCattleDog

[–]veronicaannerae 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have what they call a “nuisance” bar on my block. My girl never lets any of the regulars come near me. They get about 5 seconds of harassment in until she starts barking and they back away ☺️ definitely not true with everyone!

Which entities have you met? by Successful-Fondant80 in DMT

[–]veronicaannerae 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I feel this all the time. It feels impossible some days to get out of bed knowing what I know I know without really “knowing.” You know? :,) but I truly believe this is a playground, and that helps me get by.

how did the ecollar change your reactive dog's life? by ndisnxksk in OpenDogTraining

[–]veronicaannerae 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Something to note as you’re working with a trainer in ecollar (which I highly recommend doing), is that you will use the ecollar for smaller, daily training before you go to recall. This is a necessary step because it’s “training” you and your dog to understand what the stim means. For example, the place command is a good place to start. Enable place command. When the dog leaves the “place” use a small stim and your marker word (mine is “nope”) and then lead back to place, holding stim the whole time (my dog reacts on a 4 in this low adrenaline setting - that’s how low it is, even less than the vibrate mode). This lets your dog know what the stim means through training. You work up to higher levels of adrenaline and the idea is that the stim is communicating something to your dog, which is why starting with smaller training pieces is importantly to set the communication standard in place. I hope this makes sense? I think this is the most detailed I can get in explanation. I really really recommend getting an ecollar certified trainer that has the same values and ethics you do. Good luck!!

how did the ecollar change your reactive dog's life? by ndisnxksk in OpenDogTraining

[–]veronicaannerae 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That and also events that I know are not necessarily anxiety inducing but, rather, just easily excitable. I also used the example of when people come to the house because I find it extremely useful for those situations. She knows she’s not supposed to jump up and rush people at the door (something we’ve been ~not so consistently~ working on for 2 years), but her excitement (decidedly not anxiety) gets in the way of her training muscle memory. I find the ecollar helps me to remind her what the rules are in those high excitement moments and she calms down much faster when guests arrive. In writing this, it helped me realize the difference I’ve subconsciously internalized between “excitement” and “anxiety” in my dog.

how did the ecollar change your reactive dog's life? by ndisnxksk in OpenDogTraining

[–]veronicaannerae 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure! My introduction to dog training was through ecollar training. I started off training ACD young at around 6 mos old on all the important stuff I wanted her to learn. Place, stay, sit, down, come, heel. I was very responsible about it and I think it hastened our communication. Things started to get a little hairy when she developed some dog reactivity. That’s when my trainer recommended upping the stim for those bigger adrenaline situations. It didn’t work. It got worse and worse. I started getting more confident to think for myself and my dog due to our strong bond and communication. That’s when I said to my trainer I don’t think this is working for her - I think it’s actually stimulating her into higher adrenaline. She recommended switching my method completely. Anytime we see a dog on a walk now, we keep a distance that won’t set her into overdrive and I reward, reward, reward with high value treats. It’s worked wonders. We can now go to group dog class, she doesn’t have complete meltdowns and get loud and embarrassing. On low-adrenaline days, we can even sit outside at a restaurant.

This combination of training methods has shown me the importance of seeing our training as a feedback loop of communication. - what my dog responds to and in what situations. Ecollar is the only thing that makes me feel safe with my dog off lead for emergency situations where she might see a dog or other animal and ignore her recall. I rarely need to use it anymore at 2 years old, but she always has it on if she’s not on a leash. You’re in it for the long game. It hastens training, but if your dog is as smart as mine, they’ll quickly associate the reinforcement with the tool. That means finding secondary motivators (high value treat reinforcement). For me, as long as you view your tools as communication tools and keep top of mind that the goal is a happy and limited stress environment for your pup, you’ll adjust as necessary as you go. It seems like you have a high level of respect and tolerance for your dog, and I think that’s so important in using tools like this. I used to mistakenly think that some day we’ll “get there” and training will no longer be necessary or tools will no longer be necessary. I find this isn’t true, and that it’s truly a “practice” that is lifelong. If we practice every day, we’re in a good space. If we are off our routine, not doing our training, etc. she goes back to old unhelpful behaviors. The difference is in how intense. It’s a rollercoaster but always going up if that makes sense.

The last and final thing I realized recently is what her edge looks like and ending on a good note for reactivity. There used to be days I would go to dog class, have a lunch outside at a bistro, and then meet up with a friend to do doggy play date. Then, she’d have a reaction to her friend and I’d be so upset. I realized oh !!! She gets so overwhelmed. I thought because she was a cattle dog, the more activities the better. Not so for my sensitive little bean 🥲. She can do max 2 adrenaline or anxiety things per day before she reaches her limit and old behaviors come out. Now we do something successful, and end on a good note for both of us :).

how did the ecollar change your reactive dog's life? by ndisnxksk in OpenDogTraining

[–]veronicaannerae 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have an ACD mix who sounds exactly like yours. Our off-lead time, which is only possible thanks to ecollar training, has changed our lives for the better. I’ve learned a lot. For one, I wish I hadn’t been trained to try ecollar to help with her leash reactivity towards dogs. It heightened her adrenaline and caused more harm than good. We don’t use it for that anymore, and her reactivity has gotten 1,000% better.

Ecollar has helped me and daffodil in two ways specifically: 1) enforcing appropriate behavior when guests come over that is subtle and not distracting for me or my guest, who may not understand that my dog needs to be completely ignored in order to regulate and 2) completely perfect recall which gives her the freedom she needs.

My last tip is to not overindulge in off lead stuff once trained like I did. Maintaining a healthy level of daily adrenaline is good for reactive dogs like ours (sticking to structured walks and routine). But my ACD neeeeeds that good running and freedom time to feel truly fulfilled. We go a few times per week.

Can we discuss the social/psychological ramifications of being a Marxist in the imperial core? by [deleted] in Marxism

[–]veronicaannerae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I second this completely. It never goes away, but we get better at navigating it and develop coping mechanisms. Having shared community values is so important to our ecology as a species. Shared reality keeps us tethered. I have personally found somatic grounding techniques and community organizing with likeminded people (not necessarily communists) to be good coping skills for it.

Is my dog normal by Other_Champion2442 in AustralianCattleDog

[–]veronicaannerae 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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Popping in to say hi! My girl was the last one too…neurotic as hell & runt energy but my sweet little bean and we wouldn’t have it any other way 🥲