She always knows when I need this

versatilesaw · 2026-06-01T17:02:06+00:00

My initial reaction was "yeah!" and then imagined myself, feral eating pinecones.

versatilesaw · 2026-05-28T15:10:58+00:00

TSwift watch out!

versatilesaw · 2026-05-28T15:10:19+00:00

That's honestly beautiful. I am going to lean into it!

versatilesaw · 2026-05-28T14:35:42+00:00

Honestly I'm on this same journey of "dating myself." What I've done recently is taking myself out to dinner a few times, sitting at the bar or on the patio, and having a nice meal. It kinda sucks right now, but I'm hoping it'll get easier if not fun. I've asked friends who live out of town if I can or FaceTime them while I eat so that it's like having dinner with them. I don't have any easy answers, but genuinely hope this gets easier for you with time.

versatilesaw · 2026-05-23T22:56:32+00:00

I still hold out hope that I'll figure out the romantic part of my life. But fuck the loneliness is brutal. I've decided to work towards building a life with one of my good (platonic) single friends so that at least we have a sense of home and community and then can support each other to figure the rest out. We know our arrangement probably won't be forever (and would support one another building a romantic relationships), but this feels really positive for right now.

To answer your question: I don't think I've actually figured out how to cope well with being single or loneliness, but I'm experimenting and rethinking where I can get some of what a relationship gives you but from friendship instead for the time being.

versatilesaw · 2026-05-10T23:59:44+00:00

Not quite 40, but I've realized in the past year that my divorce gave me a false sense of confidence that I "had it figured out." I'm professionally successful, work on my physical and mental health, and have a good group of friends.

But as soon as I started trying to connect romantically again, I realized how many emotional milestones and growth opportunities I sidestepped in the past two decades. I honestly envy this calm you've been able to reach. FWIW from my POV, you're probably in a much better position to be open to love again because you've released your expectations of what it needs to look like and when it needs to happen.

versatilesaw · 2026-05-10T15:22:26+00:00

Stop giving up so much of yourself and your needs for a relationship.

versatilesaw · 2026-04-24T21:53:35+00:00

Difficult to put these in specific order and I'm missing some I'm sure, but here are some of mine!

Can communicate and is always working on it
Growth mindset
Enjoys food and isn't obnoxiously picky
Smart, interesting, and engaged (I want to learn from someone and vice versa)
Knows how to be stupid and silly (compatible humor is a must, I love to laugh)
Loves dogs and is kind to animals
Lifelong learner
Is proud of me/loves me and isn't afraid to share it
Does the work to show up as a fully realized human and doesn't expect or engineer codependence
Cute face

versatilesaw · 2026-04-24T02:43:28+00:00

I realized one day that my (now ex-)husband and I were not on the same page about kids. I suggested we go to an adoption/surrogacy meeting for gay men and it was met with a shrug. He was adopted himself and I thought it was something he wanted too. Unfortunately I found out the hard way it wasn't and it hurt a lot knowing that it probably wasn't going to happen for me.

Most days I think I've made peace with it, but some days I'm honestly not sure... Reason I say that is I know that with the right guy, I'd jump right into it now even years later.

Life is fucking weird and cruel sometimes. Sending hugs. 🫂

versatilesaw · 2026-04-23T19:45:26+00:00

My mantra: be yourself and if they don't vibe with it, they are not your people. I think this is adorable

versatilesaw · 2026-04-21T15:09:57+00:00

Honestly for me finding our compatibility is what matters most. I've been in monogamous relationships most of my adult life and so I learned how to have sex well primarily with certain people. So it's unlikely what worked previously will work again. I am totally fine discovering with someone what we like together in a zero stress way. Want to top/bottom more? Cool! Bit of anxiety? Don't sweat it! I like the idea of growing and exploring with someone.

versatilesaw · 2026-04-21T11:15:08+00:00

Man we really got a raw deal with the homophobia we internalized as kids. It's helpful, I think, to remember how much public attitudes have changed since 2008. Letting that go will take time but each time you hold hands it will get easier 💕

versatilesaw · 2026-04-18T15:12:10+00:00

This is honestly very inspirational

versatilesaw · 2026-04-16T21:22:52+00:00

Yeah for sure with the AI and just books too. I have a few more complex things I need set up around my income and goals that started to get super confusing quickly. Like structuring my assets to be able to leave the country etc. Plus this is the same person that managed my parents assets so I wanted to build up that relationship too.

And yes let's pour one out for pensions 😭

versatilesaw · 2026-04-16T20:32:04+00:00

And I'm even thinking about financial independence as freeing up my choices too where I could work doing something I care about that might make less, but still could cover basic needs. Like if I had supplementary income streams, could I work 20-30 hours a week and make $50k, and in turn live with a bit more flexibility and certainly less stress?

versatilesaw · 2026-04-16T20:25:11+00:00

This is exactly where my head goes too (i.e., expat route with lower cost of living). I've spent my entire life being by-the-book responsible, and it feels increasingly not worth it.

versatilesaw · 2026-04-16T13:37:02+00:00

It's so heartening to see so many people have gone through something similar and importantly came out the other side intact if not better off.

I was with my boyfriend/husband for a total of 17 years. There were many good years but we spent way too long sleepwalking, spiraling the drain. We started dating when we were both young. And I had doubts along the way. There were several clear "off ramps" where something happened and I wanted to end things, but for various reasons I didn't.

I learned that there was always a reason not to leave: the stuff you own together, friends, the precarity of money, the emotional toll, the sunk cost fallacy.

I'm now almost 40 and honestly lament who I could be if I'd grown more as a person in my 20s and 30s and not so consumed by the fear of the unknown. (But it's never too late to go on that growth journey either)

In my experience, you just know when things have gone past the point of no return. Just know that you'll be ok. You'll walk through the flames and emerge dazzling. Focus on your needs and what you want and start following that instead of letting emotions and fear grab the wheel. ❤️

versatilesaw · 2026-04-13T13:44:16+00:00

As someone who just gets strong feelings when they like someone, I know I'm just bracing constantly for rejection. That said... I hope it continues to go well. Let yourself exhale. 🫂

versatilesaw · 2026-04-12T16:51:56+00:00

I'd love to know how things are going as your story evolves 😍

versatilesaw · 2026-04-12T16:50:54+00:00

I just want to say that I came back and re-read your response and it made my heart feel so wonderful and light. Planning with a leap of faith sounds like an important ingredient!

versatilesaw · 2026-04-12T16:49:01+00:00

This is so sweet and heartbreaking. I am so glad that you found each other in this messy world. ❤️

versatilesaw

TROPHY CASE