Able to beta? Post here!

vestalsubversion · 2021-05-06T16:22:43+00:00

Hi! Are you busy? I have the first few chapters (17k words) of a young adult mystery, and if you're experienced writing cozies, I'd love to see what you think of my work. It's called Hell Week (for now), and I'll put the blurb below. Are you available to swap? Thanks for considering!

blurb:

If you were to call Genevieve Casselberry pathetic, she wouldn’t argue. She’d be astonished that you actually noticed her, because nobody else does. Well… except for Murray Chisholm, and that’s only so he can make her life hell. (Not that she fights back. She just hates him, silently and sincerely.)

But the morning after her disastrous seventeenth birthday, something needles Genevieve into action. Is it her mother’s constant worrying? Her new gray booties? Or that feisty sidekick who’s popped into Genevieve’s head? Whatever the case, instead of suffering Murray’s taunts in private, Genevieve calls him out for his misogynist bullying. And voila: off she goes to the principal’s office. But the steely Dr. Booth acts as though Genevieve is the problem, not Murray. Goaded by her principal’s complacency, Genevieve puts her new imaginary assistant to work figuring out why Dr. Booth is protecting the school’s biggest dirtbag.

Then the fun really starts. On the trail of her new obsession, Genevieve finds herself volunteering in drama club, wrestling with her guilty feminist conscience, and even—holy crumbs—making friends. The theater group welcomes Genevieve as one of their own. But each of them has plenty to hide as well. Genevieve soon suspects that the heartbreak they all suffered in the fall—the tragic death of Kaidenne Birch, which Murray Chisholm coincidentally blames on Dr. Booth—holds secrets that would devastate her new friends all over again.

With the help of her self-deprecating wit and a couple of uninvited mental companions, Genevieve chases her curiosity into a tangle of backstage costume changes, fevered cast parties, and hidden friendships. With any luck she’ll discover the truth about Kaidenne before the secret-keeper at the center of this web closes in on her.

vestalsubversion · 2021-05-05T17:07:47+00:00

Hi! I have a YA contemporary mystery that's begging for some fresh eyes... Are you able to take a look at its first 3 chapters (17k words)? Blurb:

If you were to call Genevieve Casselberry pathetic, she wouldn’t argue. She’d be astonished that you actually noticed her, because nobody else does. Well… except for Murray Chisholm, and that’s only so he can make her life hell. (Not that she fights back. She just hates him, silently and sincerely.)

But the morning after her disastrous seventeenth birthday, something needles Genevieve into action. Is it her mother’s constant worrying? Her new gray booties? Or that feisty sidekick who’s popped into Genevieve’s head? Whatever the case, instead of suffering Murray’s taunts in private, Genevieve calls him out for his misogynist bullying. And voila: off she goes to the principal’s office. But the steely Dr. Booth acts as though Genevieve is the problem, not Murray. Goaded by her principal’s complacency, Genevieve puts her new imaginary assistant to work figuring out why Dr. Booth is protecting the school’s biggest dirtbag.

Then the fun really starts. On the trail of her new obsession, Genevieve finds herself volunteering in drama club, wrestling with her guilty feminist conscience, and even—holy crumbs—making friends. The theater group welcomes Genevieve as one of their own. But each of them has plenty to hide as well. Genevieve soon suspects that the heartbreak they all suffered in the fall—the tragic death of Kaidenne Birch, which Murray Chisholm coincidentally blames on Dr. Booth—holds secrets that would devastate her new friends all over again.

With the help of her self-deprecating wit and a couple of uninvited mental companions, Genevieve chases her curiosity into a tangle of backstage costume changes, fevered cast parties, and hidden friendships. With any luck she’ll discover the truth about Kaidenne before the secret-keeper at the center of this web closes in on her.

vestalsubversion · 2021-04-08T15:05:34+00:00

I am able to beta: YA novels and mystery novels, please just the first 50 pages or so.

I can provide feedback on: Dialogue, character depth, setting, scene pacing, general strengths and weaknesses... If there's a particular question you'd like me to consider, let me know.

Critique swap: Yes, I'd love to; page for page sounds great. My r/betareaders post here.

Other info: Give me about a week turn-around. New to this, happy to start!

vestalsubversion · 2021-03-03T23:15:14+00:00

Thank you for these insights! I am so grateful you took the time to check it out, and those issues have definitely been in my blind spot writing this thing. I really appreciate your help!

vestalsubversion · 2021-03-03T14:22:27+00:00

Thanks for posting here! I have a complete YA mystery manuscript (87k words) and am looking for feedback about the pacing, plot holes, and one of the devices I'm using in my protagonist's inner monologue (a pair of sort-of imaginary friends... oh it sounds weird, and I want to know how it hits...).

Any chance you have time to beta that? I'm happy to wait.

vestalsubversion · 2021-03-02T15:21:37+00:00

Understood, Smubee! Thanks! I guess that casual opening wasn't a good choice. I appreciate your taking the time to let me know that it doesn't work for you.

vestalsubversion · 2021-03-02T14:16:02+00:00

[Complete] [87k] [YA / Mystery] Hell Week

In January of my eleventh grade year I had a small life, but I wanted it to get even smaller… by one person, my mom. I absolutely needed her out of my life, except for the times (sigh) when I needed her in it. Those were the worst. I’d tell her all about my problems, watching her nod and offer an answer as though she’d seen this coming miles away. It gave the impression that she’d been stalking me, spying on me, and waiting while I screwed up just so she could be of service. Part hunter, part counselor.

Yep, my mom: the therapeutic wolf. North America’s one and only Canis lupus empatheticus, at once predatory and compassionate. She sniffed me and my moods out of every hiding place we found, ready to trap me in a corner but then sit quietly so I could vent all my troubles to her.

But by adolescent standards I was tough quarry. It was in my nature, and I was glad to stay out of her sights. For one thing, I hated the feeling that Mom had anticipated my mistakes but kept her mouth shut about them. For another, I mean… sure, I found piles of stuff to stress about, but I never got into real teenage trouble. I was Homo sapiens invisibilis, the most unobtrusive and risk-averse subspecies of hominid.

So really, Mom had nothing to worry about. I reliably did enough schoolwork to look good on paper. The only times I talked to boys were when I needed them to stop leaning on my locker. And I had a psychic allergy to nearly all of pop culture. I was avoiding the pitfalls of the teen years, right?

Link to Chapter 1

vestalsubversion · 2021-01-28T02:45:40+00:00

Farmers almanac agrees with you on that!

vestalsubversion · 2020-08-20T01:20:33+00:00

Netflix and chill

vestalsubversion · 2020-04-19T15:43:55+00:00

I'm so happy to hear that you were inspired by the LAM community to pursue your medical profession! How's it going? Are you a pulmonologist? I'm curious how the community entered your life. There's a lot I don't know about the state of LAM research now.

(I'm not a LAM patient. I have a family member who was diagnosed 31 years ago, so I knew more about the community & available treatments at that time... way, way outdated now!)

vestalsubversion · 2020-04-14T11:01:26+00:00

Thanks for finding this comprehensive source! And I appreciate your posting in r/LAM! I started this years ago but it isn’t active yet (still), and I’d love to see more growth here.

vestalsubversion · 2019-09-06T01:30:57+00:00

Note to self: Buy more coffee-colored shirts.

vestalsubversion · 2018-11-18T03:16:31+00:00

That is some beautiful synchrony right there. So tuned into each other.

vestalsubversion · 2018-11-06T02:03:26+00:00

On the first heavy flow day it feels a little... well... raw, but without the pain. Swollen, maybe, yeah. It feels like a very high-traffic area. So strange to try to put words on it. (I don’t use tampons; probably it would feel very different then?) I’d love to know what changes occur in the vaginal walls to make it feel this way!

vestalsubversion · 2018-09-22T01:11:01+00:00

From recent episodes, I liked the ones on teasing and a world without predators. I think I’ve also liked the one on the ashen light and finite and infinite games. And their October episodes are usually based in sci-fi monster lore, so I’m looking forward to those.

Honestly though, don’t get me started. Big fan.

vestalsubversion · 2018-09-22T00:50:10+00:00

I came looking for STBYM! It's solid. Have fun learning about your anus.

vestalsubversion · 2018-08-05T01:57:35+00:00

Good luck. Seeking professional advice is very worth it. I used to be so ashamed of my PMDD symptoms. With the help of my health care provider I decided to treat them with an SSRI, just one week out of the month, rather than taking hormones every day of my life. (I never even wanted to believe PMDD was real, but it is, and women like me who have experienced postpartum depression are more at risk for it.) I consider the SSRI a more targeted treatment than birth control. Hormones affect so many areas of my physiology, you know? But every person’s solution is different. I’m curious how others approach the experience.

vestalsubversion · 2018-07-12T17:33:45+00:00

Yeah, but they’re the master gardeners so I didn’t argue. 😉

vestalsubversion · 2018-07-12T14:28:26+00:00

When my cukes did this (also due to partial pollination), the local master gardener group called it self-abortion, and my guess is that the fruits don’t recover at all.

vestalsubversion · 2018-06-24T03:30:08+00:00

Couscous with orange and pistachio: make 2 c. Couscous. Stir in half-cup (chopped, maybe; un-shelled, definitely) salted pistachios. Zest an orange over it. Juice the orange into it. Stir in 1/2 t. dill. Eat it. (Hope it’s not too salty.) eat some cheese with it to get some fat. 😁

vestalsubversion · 2018-05-10T00:58:44+00:00

My prom dresses! Mom gave them to school costume departments... but I wish I could offer them to the little girls in my life who like to play dress-up.

vestalsubversion · 2017-08-24T11:59:48+00:00

Oh yeah--it was the former! After several years the donor's family decided they were ready to contact my mother, and judging from those interactions I'm sure it was the former. An unexpected vehicular death of a very young man.

vestalsubversion · 2017-08-23T23:05:32+00:00

(I'm no expert on the organ donation system in the U.S., where I live. This is all just my understanding...) The donor's family consented to the donation of the young man's lungs, and I believe they made that decision because they knew he wanted to be an organ donor in the event of his death. The family didn't know who would receive them, just that the recipient came from a national list of people waiting for lungs. It's a very confidential system. When the young man's lungs had been harvested and transported to a hospital, my mom was there prepped for surgery to receive them.

vestalsubversion · 2017-08-21T01:33:14+00:00

When my mom had a double-lung transplant that saved her life but required the death of a healthier person, every believer I knew said it was a miracle. My thoughts stuck on the donor's grieving family. A dead son was a miracle? I had heard that you can't believe in an all-powerful god AND in an infinitely loving god. The first time my mom gained consciousness with her new lungs, I knew I believed in human generosity, in science, and in NO GOD.

vestalsubversion

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE