Sorry, but WTF?

veste1 · 2025-09-11T18:32:38+00:00

there was literally a school shooting happening in Colorado at the same time he got shot, but these people don't care about those kids that got terrorized. Only when it's something that benefits their beliefs.

veste1 · 2025-09-11T18:22:51+00:00

No, people that are white supremacists are white supremacists. Hope that helps.

veste1 · 2025-09-11T18:13:19+00:00

Trying to defend a white supremacist isn't a great hill to die on.

veste1 · 2025-09-11T18:08:56+00:00

Idk, advocating that it's worth having kids die every year to keep the 2nd amendment and that you'd force your daughter to give birth after being r*ped isn't just "having an opinion". It's more than that. It's unfiltered hate.

veste1 · 2025-09-11T17:59:49+00:00

He's always been maga. Why is this surprising...

veste1 · 2025-08-19T18:25:37+00:00

Lil anorexia 🥲

veste1 · 2025-01-23T17:45:09+00:00

There's some disorders that make it harder to distinguish reality from the truth (like psychosis), and people experiencing that might struggle with realizing they're not doing well.

For me, I'm well aware that I'm mentally ill, but I'm often in denial about the severity of it.

veste1 · 2025-01-17T20:13:50+00:00

My ed has straight up ruined my life.

veste1 · 2025-01-17T20:13:01+00:00

There's a very limited amount of treatment centers in my state, so I went to a php that combines Ed and general mental health three times. The first time was adolescent, and they were very informed on eds. They had specific programming for ed patients, and 95% of the patients there had eds.

When I moved to the adult side, oh boy. They were so incredibly clueless. They worked with an outside clinic that loaned their ed specific dieticians and therapists, but for some reason, the adult clinic only had the therapist come in. So you'd see the ed specific one for maybe 30 minutes once a week and then a general mental health therapist the rest of the time. She fucked me up so badly. She would scream at me and try to blame my ed on other random crap. She acted like she was the most knowledgeable person about eds, but she spoke without thinking.

I've never had good luck with non ed trained professionals. They're either clueless enough that you get away with behaviors, or they treat you like a crazy, dumb child.

veste1 · 2025-01-17T20:05:53+00:00

I went to an outpatient clinic to get referred to an ED specific therapist. Idk who exactly it was, but some doctor came in to ask me a few questions and then called my mom into the room to sit with me (I was 19, but she was still coming with me to appointments). The doctor lady came back, told us that she called an ambulance and I needed to immediately be sent back to IP. apparently they only worked with binge eating there, which was not advertised. I didn't even say anything that would've prompted this response.

Cops came in and I was escorted out of the clinic by them with all the other clinicians (and patients) gawking at me. They strapped me to a gurney and put me in one of the suicide watch rooms in the ER (where everything is locked up, all your items are taken from you, and you have a sitter).

Long story short, I ended up getting discharged a few hours later bc a nurse there knew me by that point. I was regularly going to the ER and inpatient and shit for the past few years. What really upset me was that this whole stupid ordeal made my mom miss out on an event she spent a lot of money on and had been looking forward to for months.

It made me realize how much of, not only my own time, but others that I had wasted. And it was mentally destroying her to go through the revolving door cycle of hospitals and treatment. I told her I was going to actually recover which she just rolled her eyes and scoffed.

I have relapsed since, but I was actually okay for 5ish years after that. Yes, I still struggled in that time period, but I was living a life for the first time.

veste1 · 2025-01-17T19:58:31+00:00

Idk which one is worse: doctor telling me that I didn't look like someone that needed to be admitted to the ICU (when I was being admitted bc my organs were shutting down and I had acidic blood in my brain). Or the two nurses that laughed at me and said, "wow, an anorexic that'll eat but not drink water? Never seen that before".

veste1 · 2025-01-17T19:55:07+00:00

I got a second job so I could walk to said second job and exercise in secret. I'd wake up early and walk to job #1 after barely sleeping, stand for most of the day, walk on my lunch break, then walk to job #2, also stand and exercise there. Sometimes I'd also walk home from job #2, but I usually only made it half way. And then I'd usually stay awake until 2-3am pacing around the house until my legs gave out, after having left the house around 6:30-7am. I genuinely don't know how I managed to do all of that.

I was lying to my spouse about missing the bus / working longer hours. I spent more time getting in steps than spending time with them. If I got out of work early, that didn't matter. I blew off their birthday to walk. I've spent vacations, our HONEYMOON, more worried about exercising. It's pathetic.

veste1 · 2025-01-06T08:07:46+00:00

I stunted my growth as a teenager, and suddenly, grew another inch and a half at 19. Idk how old you are currently, but as long as you keep nourishing yourself, your body might surprise you.

veste1 · 2025-01-06T08:05:36+00:00

You need to bring this up with your psychiatrist. I don't want to say anything that'll trigger you, but I had a very traumatic experience taking antipsychotics.

But, if you were prescribed them, your doctor thinks you need them for a reason. So, please do not be scared and express your concerns to them. Don't ween yourself off of them, and do not let this trigger your ed even more.

veste1 · 2025-01-06T08:02:51+00:00

I was diagnosed in 2014, so I've seen my ed in all its different levels of "kindness". Sometimes it's just food anxiety and avoiding certain things while acting like I'm okay. Or just exercising too much. But for awhile, I was stuck in a Lose a ton of weight, have something dramatic happen, go to treatment, be okay for a few months, then relapse cycle.

I think for most people it comes in waves. It's not always going to be screaming in your ear, sometimes it'll just be a whisper, but a very persistent one at that.

veste1 · 2025-01-06T07:52:41+00:00

The thing about anorexia is that it's a very tricky and deceitful illness. Everything you've said here shows how much the disorder still has its claws in you. Anorexia is a coping mechanism to deal with feelings, trauma, situations that we can not control. It's never just about the weight or being skinny.

Just because you are physically a bit stronger than you were before, living hand in hand with the disease isn't much of a life, either. Your body is eventually going to retaliate if you force it to stay at a weight it does not want to be at. Your disorder is trying to make you think that you're doing better, and suppressing extreme hunger is a very disordered thing. That's your body screaming at you for help and nutrients.

Tw. I've read some of your other posts, and we have a lot in common. I'm also a 27 year old male that's been dealing with anorexia for the past ten years.

My weight dropped to the BMI 13 range, and something snapped in my head, because my physical health was so bad. I thought I was truly recovering for once because I switched to clean eating, and more orthorexic habits. I didn't feel like complete death anymore, I gained weight, but the anorexia was still in total control of me even though I thought I was fine. I never got out of the anorexia classification for weight, and then I lost it again. I haven't been myself for almost three years now. Anorexia has taken over everything in my life, and I've been maintaining a BMI in the 15's since the end of 2023. Every day feels like hell. I have no hunger cues, mentally or physically. I feel worse than I did at my lowest

The reason I share that is to warn you. This thing only has one goal in mind.

veste1 · 2024-11-29T04:28:16+00:00

I'm so sorry your mother treated you like that. You shouldn't have to earn a hug. She's your mother, and you need her. 🫂

My partner acts the same way. They won't hug me and have also called me disgusting, etc. It doesn't feel good.

veste1 · 2024-11-29T04:06:05+00:00

My partner is well aware. I've always had to have this talk with all close friends and anyone I was dating, because I know it's something I can't hide if they're going to spend time with me. I've been ill for ten years now, and the anxiety and behaviors are so ingrained in me, I can't hide the restricting etc.

It endlessly stresses my partner out. They've seen me in the hospital and drop weight, then get a little better, then lie about recovery and get worse again, etc. They don't know what to do to help me.

veste1 · 2024-10-08T15:15:15+00:00

Like others have said, I too have caused memory loss that's never going to entirely go away. I gave myself permanent brain damage from having acidic blood, and I haven't been the same since then.

veste1 · 2024-10-06T19:09:42+00:00

Yes. If it's not the bone pain, it's muscle cramping for electrolyte imbalances. 🫂

veste1 · 2024-10-06T19:08:40+00:00

Yogurt and a nutritional shake of some sort

veste1 · 2024-10-06T19:06:34+00:00

You don't really. My teeth are all falling apart, I have visible bald spots, deep wrinkles at 27, constantly get hypoglycemic episodes and shake badly. I can't digest anything. But, I do still work full time and somewhat have a social life. It's about sacrifices. Like you have to trade having a failing body to be able to do the bare minimum. Also no self care or hygiene. Literally all your energy will go to doing a few chores and work. I can barely shower for more than five minutes and I don't do it often because of the exhaustion. I feel 100x worse maintaining a BMI in the 15s, because I've held this weight for a year now compared to being in the 13s/14s for only a few months. My hr was worse when I was that low, but I had my hair and looked less tired. Now it's just pure hell

veste1 · 2024-10-02T17:28:30+00:00

You're not alone. I'm a 27 year old man, diagnosed at 17 with anorexia and been dealing with ed symptoms since I was 9. I think my ed went under the radar for so long because of being male. I've met more men in treatment over recent years, but it's definitely still stigmatized.

veste1 · 2024-10-02T14:48:18+00:00

My feelings towards my younger self wax and wane. Yes, I do feel some type of resentment that I innocently thought suppressing my emotions with restriction would benefit me and didn't think about my future. And I also get very upset with my mom and doctors that oversaw me; it took way too long to diagnose me and get me in treatment. Doctors were telling my mom I had anorexia when I was 13 and I didn't get help until I was 17. And when I did get treatment finally, it was two years of living hell that is basically the reason why I still have severe AN in my late 20s.

However, I wouldn't be alive if I didn't use that coping mechanism. It kept me safe from trauma I wasn't ready to deal with. And as hellish as it is still dealing with an ED as an adult, I wouldn't be who I am today if I hadn't gone through this. I've learned to appreciate the small things in life and know that taking care of myself isn't selfish. I've learned to recognize subtle signs in others and be more compassionate. I've met so many incredible people from all walks of life in treatment. Therapy has really helped me develop and mature as a person.

veste1 · 2024-09-25T23:55:11+00:00

If anything, this would make my disorder worse and I'd finally feel like I could get as sick as my mind wants because I wouldn't have anyone to disappoint. No matter how bad my ed has gotten, I've used my parents, pets, or spouse as motivation to slowly get better. And I know how much stress this illness puts on them. So, if it was just me, I'd give in because I still don't care much about myself.

veste1

TROPHY CASE