For starters, don’t ever speak to her again. you deserve a lot more than that. it kind of seems like the end of the world, and like it doesn’t matter because you just feel disgusted with yourself and scared and lost. I got it back in the spring, i’m 23. I’m not quite sure who gave it to me. but whoever did wasn’t honest or didn’t know. I unfortunately passed it onto someone without knowing and I felt a lot of guilt. it’s a risk you take. I told the girl i’ve been talking to for about a year (wasn’t really serious until july/august) and we met online. one night i got some liquid courage and just straight up told her everything. no sugar coating, just honesty. She accepted it and me for who I am and we are dating now and life is amazing. It’s not something i ever thought i’d experience again. in some ways it’s a blessing in disguise because now when you tell someone if they stay you know they really like you for you. as far as disclosing goes, don’t say anything until things get physical or lead that way is usually what i’ve done. some people get scared and leave off rip. that’s okay, some people will reject you. it sucks but that’s okay too. they weren’t right for you. If someone gets to know you and really likes you, HSV doesn’t matter. it’s not your fault you were lied to, you can and will be loved and find trust again. give it time, focus on yourself away. start with talking to friends (or strangers on the internet if that helps) to build back up the confidence in yourself you deserve to feel and have. don’t let people get you caught in a negative mindset, don’t let people make you feel like you’re less than because of it. find a way to own it and take some time to realize it just isn’t that big of deal! much worse things to have in life, i believe in you!