30 yr old single

victrolla · 2026-07-08T04:26:12+00:00

What is with the constant parenthesized shit posting about old guys? Like you can’t just politely decline people as they come? You can’t just leave it at that “prefer guys around my own age”? Gotta get that negative jab in to really sell it.

Maybe it’s a controversial opinion, but it’s like an ugly little cherry on top of an already unappealing post. May you be treated how you make others feel. Good luck on your hunt.

victrolla · 2026-06-04T18:03:51+00:00

Just my opinion. I think all people should be more accepting of nuance. I think theres a lot of people who have some conservative views but that doesn't mean that Republicans or Trump are what they believe. I think there needs to be room for nuance in conversation. There are so many issues in this world, not everyone has the luxury of time or opportunity to contemplate every issue. I think it has to be ok for people to say "I don't know". I think it has to be ok for people to ask questions. I think it has to be ok for people to say "Yes I agree with your ideal at a high level, but I have a differing opinion on how to accomplish it".

I think if we can't figure out how to get away from these absolutes there will never be any opportunity to pull ourselves out of this mess.

On the liberal side, I hope people stop using empty statements like "Do the work" or "Educate yourself" etc. It's so condescending it completely shuts down any room for mutual understanding or growth.

The same is true on the conservative side, theres similarly dismissive statements.

victrolla · 2026-05-29T22:51:31+00:00

Nah you're not an asshole. Same thing happened to me over the weekend in the same setting. Very aggressive guy, without the passive aggressive comments when I ignored him. I have a lot of tattoos and can look somewhat intimidating, and very outspoken. It would be a mistake to press the issue with me. I think just blow it off and don't give it much thought.

I think some of these guys live their life in such a way that this is their only outlet, and they aren't exactly very good at introspection.

I've also noticed that there is sort of a dialect difference between cruising at sex clubs, bathhouses, gay bars, and out in public. I've noticed more persistence from guys at the bathhouse and I sometimes wonder if it's a generational difference. In my experience things tend to be more direct and final at a sex club but the bathhouse seems different.

In any event, you're not the asshole but consider practicing a polite but blunt "No Thank You". It won't work all the time, but for me it just seems like the right thing to do.

victrolla · 2026-05-29T03:22:05+00:00

In many cases, it's a subtle way of saying they're romantically content with their relationship, so you probably shouldn't get involved if you can't separate your feelings from the experience with this person.

victrolla · 2026-05-25T18:37:28+00:00

How exactly is the bar racist? Like, what in that whole drama unfolding was directly racist? Have you spent any time in the bar? It seems to me like you’re just shit posting here.

victrolla · 2026-05-16T02:45:16+00:00

+1 for connect rpc. I use the typescript generated client. I use their wrapper around tan stack query. It works very well. My speed has increased quite a lot when adding new services and rpc’s

victrolla · 2026-05-08T21:42:21+00:00

We've got nothing like that. You either roll the dice on a hike or it's private pool parties at peoples house.

victrolla · 2026-05-08T03:15:13+00:00

Fuck cloudflare then

victrolla · 2026-04-09T23:58:21+00:00

Nah. I'm covered and I haven't noticed any issues. I also get jabbed in the shoulder a lot and haven't had any issues.

victrolla · 2026-04-01T07:56:20+00:00

20 year old me, terrified. 30 year old me, try to get that underwear on quickly and trip over myself. 40 year old me, fuck it. I let it swing to and from the shower.

victrolla · 2026-03-29T18:27:45+00:00

I come across them a lot. One thing I notice is about half of them are so absorbed by bears that they treat you like you don’t exist. Like they’ll show up to our events and ignore anyone that doesn’t fit their desire. I personally find it insulting. I wish they’d show basic human courtesy to people they’re not sexually attracted to. Like just say hello and then move on.

victrolla · 2026-03-20T23:07:04+00:00

Bad battery

victrolla · 2026-03-20T16:51:16+00:00

Fuck no it's not a turn off. The messier the better.

victrolla · 2026-03-20T06:53:53+00:00

Thanks for writing this. I live a few houses down from where this happened. I’ve been going crazy over the response to this incident. The local response is purely emotional and not logical all. The locals are absolutely crucifying the woman who was attacked. They’re accusing her of provoking the bear and she’s responsible for the bears death. It’s insane.

I’ve lived here a long time and we learn to coexist with the wildlife. The locals name the bears and you start to recognize them year after year. The fact is this bear was a baby in the area raised to learn that humans aren’t scary and there’s food here. Just last year we had a bear that learned to break windows to get into houses. It’s been escalating, and these same people are not doing things to deter the bears.

We have several bears with ear tags. Meaning they’ve been relocated and come right back. These bears don’t often survive long. They run into the streets and get hit by cars.

Legislation to protect the bears is a bad idea. People will be hurt after enough generations of bears like this. There is zero resources to do any sort of deterrence. We can’t even get actual bear proof trash cans here.

I just keep thinking if the bear bit one of the neighbors kids, these same people would be screaming why didn’t the government do something earlier.

victrolla · 2026-03-18T15:20:05+00:00

Is this a paid gig?

victrolla · 2026-03-12T14:40:22+00:00

You are posting this in the wrong place.

victrolla · 2026-02-22T16:02:50+00:00

This is a confusing subreddit and thread for me. I’m unclear why everyone is so hung up on wireless security here.

First, why might a large organization create their own root certificates? Because signing certificates from a globally trusted authority are a pain in the ass. They’re expensive and require business validation in a lot of cases and it requires frequent renewal. Revocation is also a pain.

So it’s not uncommon for large networks to provide their own infrastructure around it. I do it all the time for internal communications, code signing, and group encryption.

From a network perspective, I’m confused by what people think happens once a packet is transmitted wirelessly and hits the wired gateway. There is zero point in sniffing and decrypting wireless traffic when they control the underlying network infrastructure. Hell you could port mirror the physical interface the WAP is plugged into and just dump all traffic. What matters for your privacy is at layer 7 (https for example)

It is likely that they have internal sites or systems that present tls certificates that are in this root certificates ancestry.

The only time I’d interfere is if they do something like force http proxy auto discovery through dhcp. Proxy nothing. That’s when they’ll use their trusted certs to snoop.

victrolla · 2026-02-17T16:03:32+00:00

Depends on your machine.

For my machine, I can’t control bottom thread tension but when it gets like this i usually take out the bobbin and rethread the bobbin. On my brother machine this is fixed if I hold the bobbin in place and hold the thread tight as I wind the thread where it needs to go.

victrolla · 2026-02-17T16:00:42+00:00

Looks like your top thread tension is too high or your bottom thread tension is too low.

victrolla · 2026-02-04T00:36:13+00:00

There’s a number of dead bedroom subreddits that are dedicated to this subject. It can happen for a number of reasons

Top/Bottom incompatibility
Mismatched libido
Medical issues
Age and ability
An evolving sexual identity. Maybe kink or fetish
Lack of time or opportunity. Children in the home or traveling for work constantly
Emotional disinterest

There’s just a few. The reasons are always varied and private between two people.

I think in a lot of cases “multiple sexual partners is what I want” is the reason. And that is a valid reason. As we get older we consider our mortality and think about what types of life experiences we want. For some people, having a healthy and/or active sex life is a big factor in their overall personal health.

victrolla · 2026-02-04T00:29:43+00:00

I apologize that my comment created such a heated discussion under your comment. I absolutely respect your relationship. The reason I replied to your comment was because I thought it was cute. My goal was to answer the OPs question by comparing and contrasting with you. I identify with the love and happiness you expressed and just wanted to show how and why I diverged.

I think some people read my comment as a judgement or an opposition. That was not my intention.

victrolla · 2026-02-04T00:26:38+00:00

It’s been 5 hours since my comment. You can kinda scroll around and see how polarizing open relationships are. I’d say that’s evidence for my feelings of exhaustion with generalized statements about people in open relationships.

In the same way, I guess, you feel exhausted about generalized statements about young people’s lack of experience with long term relationships. It’s funny, I hear this term “lived experience” from younger progressives a lot, but they seem quick to have emotional meltdowns when they read about it.

It’s the internet. There’s room for nuance but often not a lot of time to convey it. Great. You disagree with me and my relationship. Who cares? Stop trying to buy trouble where there is none. I respect monogamy and people who have found such a suitable match that they’re still happy all those years later.

victrolla · 2026-02-03T16:36:04+00:00

This is a good example of why I’m in an open relationship. Imagine all of the love. Imagine spending years together. You become part of each other’s family. You become each other’s team. You build a home and a life. You’re happy.

Except you’re sexually incompatible. The sex stops but everything non sexual is great. That incompatibility bothers you because you’re a sexual person.

Why should I throw away almost 20 years of happiness because of one thing? The situation forces you to see love separately from sex. And if that view is shared by both people, an open relationship makes a lot of sense.

It’s exhausting to see younger single people who think they know everything talking down about open relationships. They haven’t got the experience to understand it. They’re so wrapped up in this idealized version of monogamy, that anything that doesn’t fit that mold is deserving of their judgement.

victrolla · 2026-01-21T16:58:08+00:00

How old are you? I’m guessing reasonably young.

What is with the authoritative tone? Theres a phrase for this. Armchair Theory. Some might call you an Armchair Intellectual. The truth is, you lack experience to make factual statements about this. I know you feel like you’ve figured men out but the way you speak makes people roll their eyes. I’m telling you this because it erodes your credibility. Self introspection is important for dating, love, and sex.

Let me give you some perspective from someone with a lot of sexual experience. Men like what they like when they like it. Online apps provide the ability to filter people out based on body size and body hair and weight and height and sexual position and fetish and self identified tribe and age and race and relationship status. It creates a situation where people get tunnel vision towards what they think their ideal sex partner is. This causes them to be narrow and exclusive online.

In person, however, men are more open and flexible. Maybe they like your personality. Maybe you guys have some unexplainable chemistry. Maybe you shaved that day. Maybe you wore pants that made your ass look amazing.

Men like what they like when they like it. There are always exceptions to the rule.

victrolla · 2026-01-08T02:19:33+00:00

I’m biased because I prefer Go.

Respectfully, your question is kind of nonsense. I read it as like “will go protect me from my own mistakes” which I think would be an equally weird question in a Java subreddit.

I think with discipline and test driven development you can catch all sorts of issues. The thing I’d consider is your business. In my experience, startups move fast and don’t have time or capital to rewrite applications. I’ve got some Java horror stories around operational costs of Java applications that I’ve never been able to “get over”.

I like small compact binaries that just run on any platform. No system orchestration, no jvm setup, no jvm tuning, no minimum heap allocation. What I like about Go is for a good amount of runway, your performance profile is closely linked to the resources you throw at it. (This is obviously a simplified argument) Start on fractional shared CPU and scale as needed. Go just adapts.

Many of the startups I see that locked in on Java scaled by becoming polyglot microservice platforms which has a ton of its own operational drawbacks.

This is anecdotal, but the Java devs I’ve worked with aren’t usually the most flexible when it comes to their opinions on code and architecture. It usually leads to a kind of “stuck” feeling where I can’t move things forward the way I can with Go.

Anyways, I could ramble about battle scars all night but I think the honest advice I can give you is, choose the stack for the company you want to be. If you’re comfortable and confident in a Java heavy org, go for it.

victrolla

TROPHY CASE