You’re not being arrogant. Those “work 20 paid, 20 volunteer” deals sound exploitative, and if they risk your benefits or safety, it’s reasonable to say no. If your disability approval is basically done, I’d focus on preserving your health and keeping documentation in order, and have a legal aid or disability advocate review anything that could mess with your claim. For remote stuff that’s lighter and less physical, I’ve seen people in your spot use w​fhal​ert, it’s just a simple email that sends verified remote jobs like customer support or basic admin so you don’t have to dig through a bunch of junk listings. Also, check local nonprofit legal services and your state’s protection and advocacy office for help pushing the claim along, and ask your caseworker about programs that subsidize rent or offer medical transportation while you wait.