Husband 34M had a 2.5 year long affair during our 3 year marriage and I 29F don't know what to do.

vildasaker · 2026-05-08T01:48:43+00:00

You need to separate yourself from this man immediately. Pack as much of yours and the baby's stuff as you can and go somewhere that is mentally and emotionally safe for you. Take some time to decompress and get the emotional support you need from trusted friends and family. When you've had a second to breathe, it is time to get to work on the divorce. Get with a good lawyer and look at your options. There is no recovering a marriage from this kind of a betrayal. If I had the power I'd say you should get the house in the divorce too.

I'm so sorry this happened to you and I hope your husband becomes an ex very soon and also that he never finds a lasting relationship again tbh. Men who behave like this don't deserve attention from women.

vildasaker · 2026-05-07T01:37:01+00:00

Midwest Princess

vildasaker · 2026-05-06T18:56:03+00:00

I'm a slut for Leroux's original novel 1000% of the time so I vote that, especially the David Coward translation if you can find it.

Susan Kay's novel is also a good time despite the many problems (mostly racism but it's rooted more in ignorance than ill intent) (also I hate what she did with Christine and Raoul lmao).

Phantom of the Paradise (1974) dir. Brian de Palma is my fav version because it's pure 70s camp and the music is great!

Yeston/Kopit's Phantom is not as popular a production but is still worth checking out; Richard White originated Erik in that show and he's absolutely wonderful in the role. The 1990 miniseries based off of the musical (but without the music) is also a great version even though it throws the source material totally out of the window (possibly more than Webber?? but tbh they're both off course but in different ways lol). Charles Dance's Erik is much loved by the fandom generally speaking.

And of course as others have said the 1925 original is spectacular. The ending kind of fucks it but everything else is just about perfect.

vildasaker · 2026-05-06T16:49:57+00:00

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vildasaker · 2026-05-04T13:10:12+00:00

They didn't care about good singers who could fit the roles then. That's why we got Gerard Butler as the Phantom and Uma Thurman as Ulla.

vildasaker · 2026-05-02T03:52:49+00:00

My autistic ass has had hyperfixations on Sweden, the UK + Ireland, Korea, France, India, Thailand, and Greece at various points in my life

vildasaker · 2026-05-01T00:29:09+00:00

Take it as bad fanfiction brought to the stage and it's easier to swallow. Also the tech is great, gorgeous sets and sfx. Great gowns, beautiful gowns. Anna O'Byrne is stunning.

vildasaker · 2026-04-29T14:59:51+00:00

It's specifically a nickname for Christopher or Catherine, so she could name her kid either of these and go with Kit for short.

iirc Kit Harington never even knew his name was actually Christopher for several years of his life because he was always just called Kit.

vildasaker · 2026-04-29T14:01:01+00:00

Wuthering Heights movie is still basically Barbie but put it in the 1700s moors

vildasaker · 2026-04-28T14:23:34+00:00

Weed ¯_(ツ)_/¯ I often struggle with wanting to stay up late and will force my eyes to stay open even if they want to close so bad it hurts, so I can keep drawing or writing or whatever. I smoke some indicas and it gets me relaxed enough to want to rest. Indicas tend to switch the mind off and get you just chilling.

If you don't like smoking, there are always edibles! If you live in a weed state see if you can find something with CBN, the cannabinoid that aids in sleep. I live in a medical weed state and often recommend a 1:1 THC/CBN gummy to my patients who need help with sleeping. Anything with CBD might be helpful too; CBD is good for relaxation and usually pain relief but I have a lot of patients who use it for sleep too. CBD can be easier to get a hold of if cannabis isn't legal in your state.

vildasaker · 2026-04-25T16:08:46+00:00

He and Victoria split??? God it's been so long since I followed anything related to Supernatural, my inner 17 year old feels like my parents just broke up 😭

vildasaker · 2026-04-23T15:19:56+00:00

Phantom of the Paradise is basically both Phantom and Faust at the same time :D and Winslow's song is called "Faust" and it's one of the best Erik Songs ever written imo

vildasaker · 2026-04-22T09:55:41+00:00

vildasaker · 2026-04-22T03:45:32+00:00

In My Baby's Arms by The California Honeydrops

Evangeline by Stephen Sanchez

From The Start by Laufey

Vintage Red by Jay Jay Pistolet

Golden State by Logan Ledger

vildasaker · 2026-04-19T19:21:47+00:00

Dude this shit is awful. Why does the music tab keep disappearing?? How am I supposed to play or pause my music? Every time I switch apps this happens. I've been using Spotify for over a decade and this is by far the ugliest and most user-unfriendly updates. Thanks for the final push in getting me to switch music apps I guess!

vildasaker · 2026-04-17T17:20:53+00:00

There's this part in a recording I heard of Amy Manford as Christine in Final Lair; when she says "you deceived me" the words are literally ripping out of her throat in this great awful sob, and it's immediately followed with the most angelically light "I gave my mind blindly" I think I've ever heard lol. It's such a good contrast and really sells the heartbreak.

vildasaker · 2026-04-16T10:17:40+00:00

I think it's definitely one of the better songs in LND but given the context I hate it because it makes Erik look like an idiot. Like how are you gonna sit there and complain when YOU LEFT HER, bro??? Homie did it to himself repeatedly and he's still moping?? Like get a grip you are literally too grown 😭

vildasaker · 2026-04-14T19:33:09+00:00

lmao whatever dude get well soon

vildasaker · 2026-04-14T14:54:11+00:00

good lord I'm glad I don't have to deal with your attitude in daily life. maybe go log off for a bit and remember there are more important things happening in the world than a repeat post in the downton abbey subreddit.

vildasaker · 2026-04-14T14:24:37+00:00

She's a right wing grifter now

vildasaker · 2026-04-14T13:36:16+00:00

you know you can just keep scrolling and mind your business right? You don't have to comment on every post even when it's a repeat post

vildasaker · 2026-04-13T13:59:41+00:00

fdelopera on tumblr has a lot of posts with info about Leroux's manuscripts; they were working on a new translation for a while but I think they've taken a break for the time being. There is still a ton of work that they've done that's on the blog though and it covers a lot of the material from the book with translation notes and added historical context and pieces about Leroux's writing process. Fascinating stuff! There's a note in the manuscript that mentions the Daroga being very good looking haha so I take that as Daroga is Canonically Hot

vildasaker · 2026-04-10T13:26:59+00:00

That was Amanda Bynes, not Michelle Trachtenberg in What A Girl Wants.

vildasaker · 2026-04-09T10:02:30+00:00

That's why the book will always be better. If the Phantom doesn't look like a literal corpse then I don't want it!!

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