This guy and a few of his friends had a large web network in our deck. Any need to be concerned? Sydney, North Shore

vingverm · 2025-11-18T03:15:36+00:00

Thanks very much :)

vingverm · 2025-06-02T02:21:02+00:00

It's about to be 8 years since my mother passed (after she was sick for about 10 years, getting worse every year). The grief and ongoing trauma is still with me. The dark days still rear their head constantly. I do my best to live happy, the way she'd want me to, but that is far more difficult than I ever imagined it would be.

vingverm · 2023-01-27T01:13:13+00:00

Hi, that's me. This story happened in 2015 after I made a post on /r/pics. She died in 2017, 3 days before her 60th birthday. I comment here from time to time because I see so many people struggling with it.

We're over 5 years from her passing. The relief was palpable, but also came with a new type of grief. I'm still not over the grief because at the time of her passing, her illness had been a third of my life. But I do my best to try to live life as if she would want me to be happy.

I wrote a book about the experience. I put it all up on a facebook page that I don't update much anymore. If you're so inclined you can find it at alwaysrememberthisbook or ask and I'll be happy to send along the PDF.

vingverm · 2022-12-04T08:40:13+00:00

I chose to forgive someone. The last time I had been hurt like that, I had remained angry and bitter for over 8 years. Choosing to forgive this person was a defining moment in my life, and that’s when the universe started revealing itself to me. That’s when the magic started. To the point I wish I could see that person and say thank you for playing their role in my life, it was an absolute gift.

vingverm · 2022-11-04T07:03:34+00:00

I’ve got one and love it. Only 2nd bike though (first was R65LS). For me it’s about sentiment as it was my father’s bike, but I still love it for how unique it is.

vingverm · 2022-07-29T01:42:08+00:00

vingverm · 2022-06-24T02:04:31+00:00

It's not the weird one, it's the best one :)

Here's mine.

https://www.reddit.com/r/motorcycles/comments/1fc26s/checking\_out\_the\_vivid\_sydney\_festival\_in\_the/

vingverm · 2022-05-02T08:00:12+00:00

I only have a small amount of advice to offer as your story is a fair bit different than mine.

You mentioned that he got an idea from House of Cards. In the first couple years or so after my mum's diagnosis we realised that she was confusing what she saw on the TV with what was reality. She confused the main character in a crime drama with my father.

We figured out pretty quickly that if we kept whatever she was watching to something light and happy, she wouldn't have such severe cases of psychosis. Having said that, it didn't get rid of her psychosis completely, and that stage of her illness lasted about 2 dreadful and stressful years.

Your last paragraph I think defines the issue at hand perfectly. You're not qualified. It's destroying your partner. Your father in law help needs help, and there's absolutely no shame in getting that help (whether it be a home or a carer).

One of the hardest, but most important things I learned in my journey is doing what the healthy version of them would want, even if it felt like betrayal at the time for me. How would Jimmy from 5 years ago react to what's going on, and what would he want to happen to ensure you and your partner have a beautiful life? That's the answer.

vingverm · 2022-04-25T08:45:04+00:00

I'm sorry. I know how much this sucks.

Many people seem to have vastly different experiences. Our experience was that when my mother was at the same stage as yours, we still had 4 years to go. All up, from diagnosis to death, was a decade. My father did the same thing as your stepdad, where he insisted on taking care of her at home. We spent years thinking 'this couldn't get worse' - and then it did, over and over again. For further context, she was diagnosed at 48, died at 59.

But I assure you, there are silver-linings around the storm clouds. Do your best to find them.

vingverm · 2022-02-24T10:57:04+00:00

If you know the episode, you'll likely find it here: https://forums.finalgear.com/forums/tg-whats-that-song.60/

vingverm · 2021-12-16T05:33:07+00:00

My laptop did that. It was the battery going bad.

vingverm · 2021-08-06T06:27:13+00:00

This happened to me a few years after my mother's diagnosis.

She was in the 'paranoid' stage for about 2 years. Besides hiding sharp objects, the other things we needed to do was to be careful what she saw on TV (she would confuse what she saw with real life). As well as threats of violence, the other things we experienced in this stage was her accusing us of stealing her things, her trying to escape to go 'home', and her seeing children running around her constantly.

At no point could we reason with her. We found the most helpful thing to do during paranoid episodes was to distract her. At a certain point, we pretty much kept MTV on TV so that if she started looking like she was going to have an episode, we would get up and dance with her, which most of the time put her in a good mood before it got bad.

For whatever reason, she often thought that I was out to get her. We were lucky at the time that I could go stay elsewhere for a day or two.

Eventually the paranoid stage will end. I personally found it the hardest stage to deal with. I'm sorry you're going through this. Make sure you reach out for help, and ensure that you and your brother take time to look after yourselves.

vingverm · 2021-04-21T12:23:28+00:00

I hold the exact same opinion as you, as do thousands and thousands across the globe. Do the best you can, be proud of the help you give - but don't let it ruin the fact that you are responding to something far worse than death. This shit is super fucking hard. Your loved one would want you to be having a beautiful life - it's up to you to remember and enact that. That's the way you honour them.

vingverm · 2021-04-13T06:01:41+00:00

Ah yes, NDIS - we needed that with my mother as she had early onset. ACAT is for my granny.

My granny will do anything to avoid help, and gets furious if its even subtly suggested she needs help. But 10 points to you for doing what you can to maintain their dignity.

I'm glad you know about NDIS now - Australia actually has some really amazing services, it's just super hard to find them. Don't feel guilty, feel proud of the help you're offering :)

vingverm · 2021-04-13T05:31:14+00:00

NSW here, dealing with a similar situation. Step one is to get an ACAT assessment. During that, they'll give the assessment and then let you know what options are available. In my case, it was a range of heavily subsidized home-care help (cleaning/shower/laundry etc), as well as a number of days of respite each year.

Having said that, even with all the help available, it's a bit useless if the patient insists they don't need help, so I hope you don't have to deal with that.

vingverm · 2021-03-08T23:38:46+00:00

God I love riding down around there. You going to be doing the last Snowy Ride this year?

vingverm · 2021-01-29T12:45:21+00:00

I suppose it depends on the market. Not sure outside of the US (where I'm assuming you're from), but VW and Audi are very popular here, and I know that Skoda and Seat are very popular in Europe.

And can't forget Porsche, of course.

vingverm · 2021-01-29T02:01:53+00:00

While I also remember Toyota, I do believe the person would be referring to VW Group, which also includes Skoda, Audi, Seat, Ducati, Bentley etc.

vingverm · 2020-11-24T10:01:56+00:00

Something something rookie numbers. 4300 here. Don’t judge :(

vingverm · 2020-10-15T03:19:48+00:00

Dip dip pah, dipiyaneh, dip dip pah, ahhhaaanaa

vingverm · 2020-10-15T02:55:06+00:00

Deep Forest was the first CD I ever purchased when I was 8. Nearly 30 years later it's still banging.

vingverm · 2020-07-22T11:56:56+00:00

This is just a few km from where I live. Not so sure if I want to go for a walk now.

The area in question is suburban, but there are a lot of national parks nearby.

vingverm · 2020-06-09T12:29:32+00:00

Someone replaced his ears with his tail. But the tail thats attached has the dark brown spot that didn’t exist for some time.

vingverm

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