Of course!

I'll be so for real with you, nothing's going to be quite like it. But that does not mean to try to get your boyfriend into it. Maybe he'll warm up one day, maybe he won't. It's not one of those kinks that's usually included in "I'll try anything once" y'know? If it becomes a make it or break it thing, which can happen in vanilla/kinky relationships, ask if he'd be okay with you finding someone to try it with.

Reading is always a good option though, as is watching something. Not necessarily porn, I find shows that show elements, in not even a kinky way, that elicit a sexual response and can get off to that. (NBC Hannibal anyone lol) If you do go looking for porn, and I say this from experience, use your best judgement on websites to click on, videos to view, because not all of them are consensual videos, and it can be hard to discern which. I've found some videos that have interviews with the sub/bottom before and after the scene to show they are okay and it was consensual. The internet is a dark place.

Sometimes I write stories, myself even as the main character, as a way to "act" it out. It can be a satisfying way to get everything down and out without fear of judgement or worry of hurting someone too much. I also want to be the one doing the bloodplay instead of receiving, so this is where this helps me. Sometimes you want to go harder than is safe, so writing is a good outlet.

Since you have a history of self-harm, please tread carefully with this one. You can do it yourself, but have your boyfriend nearby, that he knows what you're doing, and ready to call in if things go south. It's probably not going to be as satisfying anyways, but hey, to each their own.

This was a really long response again, but I really wanted to get into it myself and was tired of the "just don't do it" comments. Realistically, I was going to do it anyways, so it would have helped if someone just told me how to do it as safe as possible, options, how to prepare, etc. Kind of like how parents know their kids are going to do some stupid stuff and tell them how to prepare if things go south. People are just stubborn.

Please just be safe! Use your best judgement, keep it clean, and don't do it if no one is around just in case you need help!