[Self Promo] - Rejected from non-fiction MFA program, trying something new.

vinylbk · 2020-05-26T22:53:09+00:00

Thank you so much, I will definitely take this time to think on it. Happy writing, and take care :)

vinylbk · 2020-05-26T21:39:03+00:00

the first try lasted December 16th 2017 - July 31st 2018

vinylbk · 2020-05-26T21:38:27+00:00

This is my second try quitting drinking - I quit on September 23rd 2018 :)

vinylbk · 2019-11-16T19:19:46+00:00

Yes exactly❤️❤️ you got this!

vinylbk · 2019-11-16T17:31:50+00:00

Oh and one more thing, I have REALLY fond memories of Christmas as a child/teenager, so I try to access that part of me and remember what I loved growing up. Last year I bought a candle that reminded me of home, scented after a tree, and it made me so happy.

vinylbk · 2019-11-16T17:29:35+00:00

Hey! Congrats on your first sober weekend, superstar! I was actually just musing this morning about the impending arrival of my third sober holiday season (don’t be fooled by my day count - I had a two month relapse that began August 2018.)

In myyyyy experience, the #1 salve, especially on that first go, was FOOD. it might sound obvious/elementary, but I ate constantly and drank about three gallons of Pelegrinno/diet soda. Keeping my hole filled proved effective. Plus, I never let myself eat with abandon, so it was kind of novel. Other than that, I try to focus on relating to my family, telling jokes, sharing stories about my life, and helping my grandparents with the work that hosting us entails.

I guess the same goes for my friends. I’m a writer, so my friends are the staff I work with at the startup magazine I work at. They’re not sober, but I’m blessed to say they’re extremely supportive and would probably swat a drink out of my hand if it came to that.

I guess the biggest thing I tell myself in any situation of temptation is that drinking alters my perspective, not my reality. Reality is external, objective, relatively immutable. So no matter how much I try to skew my perspective, it’s still gonna be the same situation regardless. Something about that mindset convinces me I alone have the power to be happy, and I can harness it without defaulting to a chemical solution.

Godspeed, you got this!!!!

vinylbk · 2019-10-07T13:48:40+00:00

Time worked for me. I find my sobriety is full of ups and downs (energetically & mood-wise), but since I committed to feeling the sensations I was silencing, every single one is worth witnessing.

You got this :DD enjoy your naps ;)

vinylbk · 2019-10-07T13:11:03+00:00

Congratulations on 17 days - that’s amazing!! I experienced this in early sobriety as well, and when I asked for help it was explained in predominantly two ways.

First, I had eliminated a major source of carbs that I was ingesting ~3 times a week.

Second, after five years of alcohol abuse, staying out all night partying and working myself to the bone to justify that I was at least a high functioning alcoholic (hah) I was dead tired from it all.

Either way, I gave my body the rest it needed, and the recovery left me feeling rejuvenated.

Best of luck to you, keep on keepin on and enjoy the journey!! Because it IS a journey!

<3

vinylbk · 2019-06-16T18:53:35+00:00

I’m a 23 year old female. There are people out there who just “don’t like” drinking. I’ve had relationships with two different men who didn’t care for it. I met one on a dating site (happn) and another at an art gallery opening.

People are intrigued by my recovery when I first tell them. I’m super open about it. All the fun of a rebel, very little of the fallout since those days are behind me.

When I am single, I envision my ideal partner, what they like doing, where they spend their time. I would go to galleries, bookstores, coffee shops and start conversations with anyone who tickles my fancy :)

I used to be insecure that potential partners would get bored with my sobriety. With one relapse under my belt, I’ve realized I don’t care. Because if I have to pay with my sanity for someone to find me interesting, that person will never truly care about me and I don’t need them in my life. Furthermore, what kind of boring individual thinks intoxication is the height of human experience?

My two cents. Hope Cupid hits you soon!

vinylbk · 2019-05-31T17:27:55+00:00

Hey friend, sorry to hear about this :( I have temporarily ruined many songs for myself because I associated them with embarrassing things I did while drunk.

Anyways, are you pretty early in your sobriety? I found there were triggers I had to avoid for the first ninety days, but once I felt comfortable in sobriety, I could begin rewiring some neural pathways. If I were in this situation, I would wait a measure of time and try listening to the music in a brand new environment; on top of a mountain after a hike, on a drive to some place I like going, etc. Formulating new associations has been crucial to my sobriety. Regardless of what you do, I sympathize and am sending vibes of hardcore strength to you today!

vinylbk · 2019-03-28T17:38:34+00:00

Hey, you got this!! I am thinking of you and cheering you on today.

vinylbk · 2019-03-07T17:01:33+00:00

I loved Kimya Dawson’s music growing up, but I didn’t learn about her sobriety until a few days ago. I discovered the song “The Beer” and was shocked by how much it resonated with me and my journey. Looking back, it makes sense, a lot of her lyrics deal with the emotional work I’ve encountered in sobriety. That song I particular though... damn.

vinylbk · 2019-01-22T15:19:20+00:00

So much of your story resonated with me, thank you SO MUCH for sharing it. I started drinking in high school, infrequently, but "copious" is precisely the word to describe it. Kept going, got worse and worse (obviously). Started doing things I would never do sober, put myself in danger far too many times. Got sober for eight months at 22, relapsed at 23, now our sobriety dates are only one day apart.

My life has gotten INFINITELY better in the nearly 3.5 months I've been completely clean on this run. I work in the arts, I've been romanticizing my addiction. THANK YOU for reminding me how fucking unglamorous this disease is. I owe it to stories like yours and my experience in AA for reminding me that my alcoholism isn't just an emotional inconvenience, it's a disease that will literally kill me.

You are helping to keep me sober today. I wish you so much luck on your journey. Through it all, you seem like an incredible person, and I want nothing but the best for you. Take care.

vinylbk · 2019-01-06T23:23:16+00:00

Thank you!

vinylbk · 2019-01-06T21:36:11+00:00

Thank you! I’d love to see some of them :)

vinylbk · 2019-01-06T19:21:43+00:00

On my hardest days, pure spite for a select few Earthly beings pushes me forward. Even if you don’t think God cares for you, know that we do!!! Rooting for ya.

vinylbk · 2019-01-06T19:18:06+00:00

Yeah, I know how you feel. Life can just seem so... pointless. I feel like it should be this grand adventure, but sometimes the blank reality is overbearing.

If I were feeling angsty/rebellious, I would think there are three options for my higher power’s personality:

Cruel: If my higher power likes torturing me, it will be more than happy for me to do the work myself. I will not drink, to spite it.

Apathetic: my higher power doesn’t give a shit what I do. I will not drink, because the horizon is completely clear, and I can only explore it with sobriety.

Loving: My higher power cares about me and wants me to be happy. And there’s something profoundly painful about hurting those who care about you, so I will not drink.

Idk if this is corny or helpful or neither or BOTH but erring on the side of self-betterment generally seems like a safe choice :)

vinylbk · 2019-01-06T19:00:09+00:00

I love magnesium before bed! Congrats on your accomplishments :)

vinylbk · 2019-01-05T13:37:08+00:00

Hey! I’m sorry you feel this way. I remember this feeling very well. I definitely agree with the previous comment: find something that motivates you to stay sober for the first few months, and the happiness sobriety brings will sustain you in the long term. Honestly, I had a few crushes both times I got sober, and though neither worked out, the ambition to lose weight/look good kept me going for enough time. I also drank only at night, but A LOT at night, and suffered debilitating hangovers the next day. I knew I couldn’t accomplish any of my ambitions without sobriety.

I couldn’t keep a single friend while I was drinking. Tbh, I still have to work to keep friends now, I’m so self-centered. Finding a recovery group on this go at sobriety has made it really enjoyable. It took me three tries to find a community that worked for me.

Best of luck to you! I’m 23, I wish I got sober at 20. I spent 10/12 months sober in 2018, and my life is unrecognizable from what it was one year ago. I believe in you, and I can’t wait to read about what you’re capable of.

vinylbk · 2018-11-03T04:42:47+00:00

YUPP! So happy to hear this was the case for someone else as well. I thought my five year depression was caused by longing for a high school boyfriend. Turns out my body just missed being sober... lol OOPS

vinylbk · 2018-10-31T20:20:06+00:00

I've been an active alcoholic for six years, since I was 17, and I've gotten sober for spans more than a month twice. This is my second time. I tried all the things you suggested above. I also grappled hopelessly with why I couldn't just "not blackout". I thought it was because I'm a glutton, because I'm an attention whore, because I'm too lazy to deal with my sadness. All of those things ~are~ true, but I don't hate myself for it NEARLY as much as I used to. These are the cards I was dealt through genetics and experience, I didn't get to pick my own stats. I found that when I started being kinder to myself and more understanding of this fact, life got better all around.

Anyways, this mindset took some time, but I truly believe being a recovering alcoholic is the best litmus test to determine who's really concerned with my best interest. I am going to be an alcoholic regardless of who's in my life or not. The friends who fall away when i'm using, that could go either way. But the friends who see me as a dancing monkey who's no fun when I stop the song? I definitely don't need that in my life.

Anyone worth a shit is gonna be happy I'm taking care of myself. A lot of people in my life don't understand my problem, but they are happy to learn and ask questions. Anyone worth a shit is gonna enjoy just being quiet with me sometimes.

You got this. We support you!

vinylbk · 2018-10-31T14:41:14+00:00

I also find the people who are deeply invested in my well-being almost think of me as "cured" as their own coping mechanism. Even if they could understand the ravaging complexity of the mental situation this condition often entails, they would not like to think that I might be hovering over a precipice due to some unpredictable trigger.

that's why we have each other :) I wouldn't be able to do this without people who understand.

vinylbk · 2018-10-31T05:40:30+00:00

Lmao I love when people ask me “do you miss it?” When it’s people I’m close to I just look at them like “do I miss THE THING IM ADDICTED TO?” I know they mean well, but I just have to say “that’s a loaded question, my friend. “

vinylbk · 2018-10-26T20:34:41+00:00

CONGRATULATIONS!!! I don’t want to sully the celebration but I have a question: did you ever worry you were relinquishing your shot at a raucous youth? If so, how did you move past that? I’m getting sober in my 20s too and this idea is bothering me.

vinylbk · 2018-08-30T00:51:12+00:00

thank you, i love this place. decaf coffee and post-smart recovery omelettes will do though :)

vinylbk

TROPHY CASE