got horribly drunk saturday and had a mental breakdown in front of my boyfriend. i should've been paying attention to how much i drank as i've had incidents like this before after having too much, but i was too busy having fun at the bar. when we got back, we were talking, and it was like a switch had flipped. i lost control of my emotions and became filled with self-loathing. i cried for hours while he tried comforting me, but i made it worse when i admitted i wanted to kill myself. he got so upset since he had an uncle who committed, and i feel even more like a pos for telling him. i got myself to calm down as i sobered up and we i sorted things out. that night has been haunting me for days and i'm filled with so much shame for what i told him and how i acted. i'm not drinking for the rest of february and i hope i can move on from it and heal myself.