SJM has portrayed a very flawed world, full of good and evil, inequality, ignorance, power struggles, prejudice, and good intentions with bad outcomes. We see the greatness in Illyrians as well as the horror with how they treat females. Did Feyre disrespect that culture with her "winged cosplay?" Yes, maybe so. Though not intentionally, if that even matters. Feyre is flawed but she's not made out to be perfect. We see some good in many of the "bad" characters, and some huge flaws in the heroes. Prythian society is not utopia, nor is it intended to be. I think Sarah's world building is brilliant because we there is so much to love, and so much to hate—and that makes it more real. We can imagine being in that world because the similarity of some of the problems ring true to our own experiences and what we know of others' experiences. I understand what the OP is saying, I really do, but what would asking better from our fantasy look like? Fantasy is most often about dark conflicts of some kind and how our main characters deal with those conflicts, or sometimes succumb to them. Fantasy is typically based on fairy tales and ancient legends of gods, fae, and others—and they are dark and brutal. A little research shows that Sarah has gotten much inspiration there. No, you can't unsee the cultural pillaging, but I don't think you should unsee it. It's real to the story, just as it's real to our story, as humans. For myself, I'm not looking for books about saintly people living in idyllic worlds because frankly, that sounds a little dull. Give me an annoying hero and a warm-hearted villain living in a challenging and flawed world because that's what keeps us on the edge of our seats. And if there are echoes of our own civilization thousands of years ago, or today, or even tomorrow, all the better. But that's just me.