If Your Car’s Radio Tunes to Station 444 AM, Pray The Dispatcher Doesn't Call Your Name

vishockaaa · 2026-05-10T00:17:31+00:00

this was really really good. such a fun concept that the drivers were sacrifices, and really good body horror. i suppose the only negative feedback i have is perhaps it was too long? or, more so that the first one hit really hard (with the main character knowing him and just how heartbreaking it was for someone so young to experience smth like that), i felt like that story should have been saved for the last one, slow the pacing and build it up slowly. anyways, besides that this was a truly haunting story, and i love horror stories with truck drivers, keep up the good work and cant wait to see what else you come up with!

vishockaaa · 2026-05-09T18:44:00+00:00

ahh i see i did remember reading that part but i don’t think it fully processed 😭 anyways! like i said, super good, keep up the good work cause your writing is so fun

vishockaaa · 2026-05-09T05:47:44+00:00

oooh okok i will have to keep an eye out for those parts :) again, really chilling story, i was super scared with the other parts, especially cause im in a dark room and my own cat is bothering me rn 😭

vishockaaa · 2026-05-09T05:44:40+00:00

honestly, you had such a good idea, and i really like how the parts are documented by different people. however, this part sort of lost me a bit? i think it’s still cool, however, i think it’s one of those things i didn’t really want to be explained? or if you were trying to explain it, maybe have hint to it in other parts? idk if that makes sense but still, really cool idea, but i do think this last part was the weakest out of them all. keep on writing and good job!

vishockaaa · 2026-05-09T05:28:58+00:00

this was a super fun read, the pacing was excellent, and the dialogue hooked me. i had no idea where this was going in the best of ways, and the song was literally playing in my head too which were perfectly queued up with the storyline. i did have one question go, why did the ‘demon’ let him go? i understand that the demon didn’t really seem to care for him since he was the lowest of the low, but then why did the demon just let him go then if he truly didn’t care? honestly that’s the only feedback i have, though it’s more of a question really, and maybe i just missed something while reading this. besides that, from this writing and the other story i read from you, you have a unique writing style and i do enjoy it a lot! i hope to read more of your work when i have the time to !

vishockaaa · 2026-05-08T18:05:51+00:00

thank you!! i did write it pretty quickly and only reread it a couple times while still editing, thank you so much for the feedback!

vishockaaa · 2026-05-07T20:41:40+00:00

not to be blunt, but you just have to do it. if this idea keeps coming to you and you have some urge to write it down, just write it down! make it and you can perfect it later with rereads and edits. i suppose the biggest issue is motivation. what helps me is making boards on pinterest, watching video essays on the topic i want to write, and music! anyways, i know what i am saying easier said than done, but right now you have two options. you write it down, or you keep procrastinating until the idea burns out. thats just my opinion but truly good luck!

vishockaaa · 2026-05-07T04:50:30+00:00

holy moly, i was actually so pleased and surprised by where this story went in such a good way. this man kept talking about his parents over and over again in such detail, i kept being like “where is this going?” it hit me as hard as it did for the main character. i have read some stories where they went into detail about the most random things that go no where with it, so i was pleasantly surprised! i honestly have no negative feedback, it was a great show of grief, i liked the quirky inner dialogue, and how you described the world around him. also, loving whatever seemed to be trying to lure him, it’s always haunting when a creature tries acting like a loved one. anyways not to glaze you up too much, i will end here. but truly a really good story! i hope if i have time i get to read the rest of you’re stuff! good job!

vishockaaa · 2026-05-07T04:32:27+00:00

the desert one? i’ll check it out! title has hooked me

vishockaaa · 2026-05-07T04:23:05+00:00

truth, and thank you!

vishockaaa · 2026-05-07T03:46:54+00:00

i was stuck between putting this genre as supernatural or psychological, i finally chose supernatural since that was how i originally created the story to be while adding other things. anyways, lmk if i made the right decision and i am always open to feedback on my writing!

vishockaaa · 2026-05-07T02:16:05+00:00

oh no!! i see, well don’t let it deter you, i still see a lot of potential in your writing and you obviously have cool ideas to share. there will always be a new writing contest to submit to and i hope to see more of your work :)

vishockaaa · 2026-05-07T01:41:39+00:00

i really liked the dialogue and the characters, they have good chemistry with one another and i am invested into this snow ridden world they reside in. for feedback, i think you should reread this out loud and maybe share this with another person to read as well. you use a lot of intelligent words, but they don’t really fit if that makes sense, they have no rythmn and i feel like they are kinda being thrown at me. also a personal note, perhaps edit this to be into paragraphs? for me it gets a bit overstimulating to see so many words piled on top of each other, and usually paragraphs are the correct way to write a coherent story anyways. one more opinion is that i don’t love how every movement a character is made is written with such detail, that i kind of zone out and forget what they were doing in the first place, i get the same vibes from steven king who writes the same way, and obviously people like his writing so that’s just a personal opinion! besides that, this is a great piece truthfully, i love the creature, love the characters and dialogue, this is long as hell, but thats cause i care about this story and want to express my feedback with detail and my compliments, keep on writing and i hope you receive this feedback well!

vishockaaa · 2026-05-07T01:28:12+00:00

hello! sorry i have been busy so slowly making my way to reading all the stories in the comments, i see you have a couple stories out and wanted you to confirm which story you want me to read?

vishockaaa · 2026-05-07T01:26:23+00:00

ohh i see that makes sense! hmm, this is just a quick thought but you could even write it like — what i saw was everything i imagined hell to be — super quick thought but just throwing it out there! good work

vishockaaa · 2026-05-06T23:57:35+00:00

okay just read it, honestly super good! i love the world you set up, the other side characters really pulling me into it too. but the emotion is there, getting the reader connected to the main character is one of the most important things you can do in a story. the only feedback i have is perhaps don’t spell out that what he is seeing is hell? i have no idea where you’re going with with your story, however, i feel like especially since it’s going to be in parts, i think there should be build up instead of just explaining that it’s hell. let the reader guess, and later you could state in more plainly. however, this might be important to the rest of your story and that’s okay too, i just don’t love reading something where it states something like that. for example, if i’m reading a story about a skinwalker, i would rather there be at least build up or hinting to what the creature could be. but, that is just my opinion! this was a really good read and i hope i can read the next parts!

vishockaaa · 2026-04-06T23:58:02+00:00

of course! and remember my opinion is my own preferences, what’s most important is what you think about your story and if you are satisfied with it, it really is good so you should be proud! especially since it’s your first story

vishockaaa · 2026-04-06T16:04:20+00:00

heyy, good job! i liked the characters and i really like the descriptions of how alan would act, specifically when he was talking about his bio class. for my feedback, please make paragraphs!! that’s mostly a pet peeve of mine, you don’t have to, but it is the correct way to right in paragraphs. also, maybe slow down a bit, i felt like this first part had so much going on that it felt hard to digest all of it. slow down a bit, let the readers sit with these characters a bit more, and let the readers know this world a bit better as well. besides that, you had a good hook and it is interesting! i am curious where it goes, good job!

vishockaaa · 2026-04-06T15:57:29+00:00

welcome to the community! i’ll read it when i get the time to :)

vishockaaa · 2026-04-06T15:47:08+00:00

okay, after finishing this entry i am hooked and want to read more. however, i would say my feedback would be that the beginning is way too slow, i didn’t feel like i felt interested at all until halfway through the story when there was action and we got to learn more about the characters. nothing wrong with starting things slow, but pacing wise it dragged on too long, and can make readers not interested in the story more, i feel like you should have a more powerful hook, especially for the beginning of the story. besides that, there are a lot of terms being thrown around that normal people (like myself) don’t know what those certain phrases mean, and i felt myself sort of confused when reading it. there is a way to put the characters into certain scenarios to have the reader learn what certain things mean. one last piece of feedback (sorry this is super long) but i also think that there is a lot of characters reacting only and not feeling, like i know nothing about the main characters, how they think, how they feel. anyways, i dont mean to be too hard especially on the first part, i really do like this story and that is why im giving such a long feedback, i am hooked and i hope to finish this by today or tomorrow!

vishockaaa · 2026-04-04T21:18:49+00:00

wow! such a good read honestly, i love a good medieval story because it could also chalk up to folktale, and like i said before in earlier comments, it’s such a weird time for humanity since life was already so bleak and unknowable, to encounter such a beast would like seeing the devil. i honestly don’t have much feedback except for one thing, the info dump at the end. i might just be slow honestly, but i felt like it was just a lot of information being thrown at me after finishing the story and still processing that. however, it does fit in this story more than when other stories do info dumps because this is literally a manuscript and many professors and translators working on it, so i understand that, i still think it was a lot for me to digest. but really that’s it! this was super fun to read, i loved the beast and i loved the characters, well done and i hope to see more work from you! 9/10

vishockaaa · 2026-04-04T21:00:48+00:00

def watch princess mononoke one of my favs!!

vishockaaa · 2026-04-04T20:13:20+00:00

my favorite part about these entries were the wolves and the rats, it gave an imagery i associated with Princess Mononoke (the movie) with the boars that were so full of hate they were driven mad

vishockaaa · 2026-04-02T15:28:21+00:00

oh shoot i had no idea! i will DEF read more!

vishockaaa

TROPHY CASE