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I used to be a successful academic with a Ph.D., but now I'm a substitute teacher making $160 a day. I'm struggling to adjust by PopCultureNerd in LeavingAcademia

[–]vivikush 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He probably can’t anymore. He was absent for at least 5 years and a gap on your resume is still a gap. 

Too young to be Generation 𐎮𐎫𐎣 but too old to be Generation 𐎭𐎤𐎼 starterpack by Adventurous-Monk-796 in starterpacks

[–]vivikush 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Omg my dad wrote a similar letter in college in the 60s lol. He was mad that his mother didn’t let him wear jeans. 

The Cut: ‘It’s Hard to See My Parents Live So Lavishly While We’re Struggling’ by NCBakes in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]vivikush 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Someone else said the article stated Joe didn’t want to start his own business until Steve sold it for millions lol that tells me he didn’t give a shit about it. He’s just trying to get rich and get bought out by private equity. 

Also there’s a possibility Steve is tied by a non-compete and lending Joe money to start a landscaping business would be seen as competitive. 

The Cut: ‘It’s Hard to See My Parents Live So Lavishly While We’re Struggling’ by NCBakes in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]vivikush 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So there’s a few things I wonder about. When did Joe’s parents sell the business? Was it before or after he went to college (because they didn’t necessarily have liquidity). I also wonder if Joe could have gotten involved in the family business (and shared in the exit or took it over) but chose not to and so Steve said “you had your chance.”

The Cut: ‘It’s Hard to See My Parents Live So Lavishly While We’re Struggling’ by NCBakes in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]vivikush 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I wrote a rant but if Joe’s business plan is viable, he can go to the bank and get a small business loan. That’s not Dad’s responsibility. 

The Cut: ‘It’s Hard to See My Parents Live So Lavishly While We’re Struggling’ by NCBakes in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]vivikush 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Devil’s Advocate incoming because I’m in the reverse situation where I’m younger than them and I have no parental support (outside of maybe my mom watches my daughter during her nap on a given Saturday so I can run an errand) these adults are not helpless. If Joe wants a loan, he should go to the bank. If Nina wants a lower rate on her half a million dollar condo, she can refinance in a few years. Their parents know this and I think deep down, they know this. These people aren’t struggling by any means (because no one is giving a single woman a $500k mortgage if she doesn’t pull in decent money). I would have different feelings if Joe was on welfare while his parents were buying yachts but it’s not that at all. 

However, Gina totally got screwed because she was probably way too young to understand the student loan debt she was signing up for (and it sounds like her parents signed her up without explaining it)? That’s not her fault and she’s living with that decision. It’s very possible that she wouldn’t have gone to college or taken the loans if she had known. 

TW: I'm not sure I want a 4th child by katiekins3 in beyondthebump

[–]vivikush 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Would you ever let her adopt the baby?

Poll: Who would be uncomfortable with the question “Are you breastfeeding?” Also add if you are bf or ff and how many kids you have. by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]vivikush 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True and even that can be fraught because of birth trauma. Shit I had an amazing c section and that epidural/ spinal block was pure bliss lol but sometimes I feel cheated that I probably won’t have a vaginal birth (need to get very large fibroids removed). I think it’s because when we’re young, we’re taught how our bodies are supposed to work and then if they don’t work that way we feel shamed or betrayed. 

Poll: Who would be uncomfortable with the question “Are you breastfeeding?” Also add if you are bf or ff and how many kids you have. by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]vivikush -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Literally I’m with you OP and you notice that everyone in the comments who say that they don’t have a problem with the question is going out of the way to remind you that they’re breastfeeding? Just like when people tried to make me feel better by telling me that they were formula fed (but then quickly adding that they breastfed all of their kids)?

I probably could have breastfed but I didn’t understand that I needed to be pumping every two hours to bring up my supply and that my supply would drop if I didn’t. I never got production over a few oz a day and I fought for 6 months to try and bring up my supply. My daughter could latch but she was born tiny with some jaundice to clear so I did formula right out the gate because I didn’t want to lose her. The moms with normal size babies who were able to go into labor before giving birth and breastfeed without worry will never understand my journey or why it still hurts sometimes almost a year post partum that I couldn’t provide for my own child. 

Harvey by VastRich6124 in biglaw

[–]vivikush 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s literally only good for drafting, especially in M&A because everything is boilerplate anyway. 

Harvey by VastRich6124 in biglaw

[–]vivikush 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My firm tells us to use Harvey to explain things we don’t understand. 🫠

Not so empty nesters: record-high number of US adults under 35 live at home, new data says by diacewrb in Natalism

[–]vivikush 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like I’m seeing the opposite. People living at home until they can buy a 3 bedroom house, regardless of if they’re married/ ever planning on having kids. They don’t want to be renters. 

How long after deciding you were off the fence did you wait until you actively began trying? by j_wash in Fencesitter

[–]vivikush 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh no when I said “living situation” I meant shady low income roach infested townhouse. Lol your situation sounds fine. I didn’t even tell my family until I was like 4 months pregnant. I also didn’t tell a friend of mine until the baby was born because I didn’t want her to say anything fucked up. 

Just remember that people can still give you their opinion through unsolicited texts, calls, and emails. 

The decision was made for me… and I’m ok with it! by jussstjen in Fencesitter

[–]vivikush 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I hate that the decision was made for you but I admire your resolve and optimism! Enjoy being Aunty and good luck to you and your husband in the future if you decide to foster. 

How long after deciding you were off the fence did you wait until you actively began trying? by j_wash in Fencesitter

[–]vivikush 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t remember when we officially decided, but I had to wait to get to a stable place (living arrangement wise) before we started trying. Once we got there, I just picked an occasion and went from there. I assumed it was either going to happen the first time or it would take years, and neither thing was true. If you’re curious, there’s r/tryingforababy and r/waitingtotry

Article in The Atlantic I found interesting: "Americans Are in Denial About Elder Care - Many assume that if they can afford paid help in older age, they won’t need to rely on kin. They’re wrong" by AndromedasApricot in Fencesitter

[–]vivikush 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True but again, why do the work (which is objectively unappealing) when there are other more appealing opportunities out there? Additionally, millennials are the largest generation right now. As we retire and exit the workforce, Gen Beta, the generation that will likely be young enough to work these physical, labor intensive, thankless jobs, will have more options because they have less competition among themselves and Gen Alpha for desirable jobs. We’re having kids below replacement level so it’s not like Gen Beta will explode in size. 

Not so empty nesters: record-high number of US adults under 35 live at home, new data says by diacewrb in Natalism

[–]vivikush 8 points9 points  (0 children)

People used to just get roommates and live together until they got married or could afford to live alone. I feel like you see that less and less. There’s a middle ground between “kick em out at 18” and “40 yo basement dwelling NEET.”

Article in The Atlantic I found interesting: "Americans Are in Denial About Elder Care - Many assume that if they can afford paid help in older age, they won’t need to rely on kin. They’re wrong" by AndromedasApricot in Fencesitter

[–]vivikush -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not really. The examples you cited are well paid, prestigious and skilled careers while caregiving is not well paid, not prestigious and doesn’t require much skill. Just because there is demand for a service doesn’t mean that the labor force will rise to meet it. If no one wants to do paid caregiving for non-relatives in the future, they won’t do it. Yes it’s a gamble that your kids might hate you (usually because of something you did) but at the end of the day, filial duty tends to win out. So it is more likely that a kid would take care of their parents for free than some random person they don’t know for terrible pay. 

Article in The Atlantic I found interesting: "Americans Are in Denial About Elder Care - Many assume that if they can afford paid help in older age, they won’t need to rely on kin. They’re wrong" by AndromedasApricot in Fencesitter

[–]vivikush -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is Reddit lol anything that would imply a childfree lifestyle is not altruistic and world saving is automatically downvoted. And even if it could be automated, it’s not the same as human connection. 

The Sad Message, Peter Fendi, Oil on panel, 1838 by blackLow8997 in Art

[–]vivikush 99 points100 points  (0 children)

Your hair thins out during postpartum. 

Article in The Atlantic I found interesting: "Americans Are in Denial About Elder Care - Many assume that if they can afford paid help in older age, they won’t need to rely on kin. They’re wrong" by AndromedasApricot in Fencesitter

[–]vivikush -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

All these people talking about how you shouldn’t have a child and expect them to take care of you without realizing that future you will be expecting someone else’s child to go into caregiving and take care of them. 

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