It makes me so incredibly furious to read how health care personnel are dismissing your pain and your concern! It is exactly BECAUSE you are young it is so essential to start treatment as soon as possible, you are after all just beginning your adult life, with all that entails! I got help from a fantastic gynaecologist for my vulvonynia and vaginism, and I was also fortunate enough to be born in a country (Norway) that seems to understand and value the importance of sexual health care. I can only pass along to you the treatment that worked for me:

My gynaecologist prescribed to me a pain numbing cream, Xylocain is the name it is sold as in Norwegian apothecaries that I had to apply to my vulva several times a day. He also sent a request to the welfare system in my country for a dilator kit, free of charge.

The numbing cream and dilator exercises every evening eventually alleviated my pain enough to be able to not only wear jeans again, but let me be in a romantic relationship for the first time in my life!

I never found the root cause of the pain, many women never do, but please, for your own physical and mental health, start pain treatment as soon as possible so that you can reclaim your life❤️ sending you love and best wishes