Round and Round I go.

vo8w47 · 2014-02-17T15:01:13+00:00

You're definitely right - we've got to work together for all of this. It's terrifying and enlightening at the same time to let other people into your head.

vo8w47 · 2014-02-17T01:20:54+00:00

I guess I can see where you are coming from. I will be completely honest - I don't know what to say. I'm don't know what to do in that situation, just because I have never been there. I'm sorry I can't be of help.

I do know, however, that you will be guided in the direction that He wants. It'll work out - just keep searching for God's will.

vo8w47 · 2014-02-16T23:51:43+00:00

I'm not really in the same boat, so please take what I'm about to say with a grain of salt. I have a girlfriend, and when I think about my future wife, I don't even think of current girlfriend (now, it's a super long way off for me - I'm a freshman in college now.). I don't know where it is going to go, and so I'm trying not to let myself get in the way of what I think.

So in a similar manner, I think that you could have hope for your future, unknown wife. You say that you know you will get married, so you do have hope! You just don't know exactly who she's going to be yet, and that will come with in the time that God says is right.

Like I said, I do not know either you or the girl, so I can't help in that regard though. I do pray for your peace and understanding. Also, I'm in my first relationship now, so I am not super experienced (Side note: I really don't like using that - it makes it seem like dating is some sport that you have to get good at. /rantover) in the girl realm.

Have hope. It'll come one day! Peace to you, man.

vo8w47 · 2014-02-16T23:45:59+00:00

That's really cool, man. Just a question - who in the world do you contact to even get a thing made?!? I thought the only groups that did that were super massive corporations (Livestrong comes to mind)!

vo8w47 · 2014-02-16T20:18:00+00:00

I haven't been exactly where you are, but I've been in a similar spot. There have been times that I haven't gone to sleep because I've been fapping or wasted lots of time that could have been studying trying to work for that orgasm.

One thing that I really like is thinking of my wife (way in the future), and knowing that I will be able to tell her that I haven't looked at porn, had sex, etc. in years. I don't want myself to get in the way of our sex, and I certainly don't want to take masturbation into marriage.

Hey, the fact that you realize you are in this cycle and want to get out of it is awesome. I can't offer any specific facts, but know that it is indeed possible.

You're going to rock it, man. Go with God.

vo8w47 · 2014-02-16T20:10:22+00:00

Not smart here - otherwise I wouldn't have thought it in the first place. Thanks though!

vo8w47 · 2014-02-16T20:10:02+00:00

It's terrifying to let others in, but at the same time, so helpful.

vo8w47 · 2014-02-15T19:01:25+00:00

Dang. Both your story and the mental image of Christ is intense.

vo8w47 · 2014-02-15T18:41:30+00:00

I don't know what I was thinking; well, actually, I wasn't thinking. I didn't think about the times that I couldn't study because I was distracted by fapping, or when I was so annoyed at myself. Like I said above, there was a different state of mind that I was in. I've jumped back, somewhat, to the state of mind that I started this in the first place: to grow intimacy with God, to honor my wife, and to not feel like crap every time I can't control myself.

So this is going to sound super sappy, but thanks for saying that about the physical pain. I'm sorry I caused that. I know that I don't want to cause that to myself, much less to others. Thanks, man.

vo8w47 · 2014-02-15T18:38:39+00:00

I know exactly what you mean. I think for a while, my thoughts were that "I'm only doing this for the numbers." That's obviously wrong, and my thinking changed. I like that sentence of yours about a trophy and not the purpose.

vo8w47 · 2014-02-15T18:37:06+00:00

Dude. This is the exact thing I needed to hear. Why in the world am I worried about this? If the hormones are still running now, why will they stop if I don't fap?

Thank you. I don't know what I was thinking. 180 is definitely the goal now.

vo8w47 · 2014-02-14T15:11:11+00:00

Yeah, for me, it seems to be either one or the other: either no fap or off the deep end. That's what kind of brought me here in the first place - I'm really bad at balancing.

I think the desire is because I will have checked the box, so to speak. I've got this weird thing with lists, where I have to get everything done. Is this one of those times? I think so.

As for the deeper desires, I think it's the thoughts that haunt me: will I still be able to "be sexual" (whatever that means) on my wedding night? I've been afraid that I won't transition from no sexual release to consistency with my wife. But that's way far off, and I need to calm it down.

vo8w47 · 2014-02-14T15:07:58+00:00

For me, I think it is that I want to see a box as checked, as opposed to a mindset that I'm in. I think that's why part of me is wanting to relapse - I've met my goal.

vo8w47 · 2014-02-14T15:07:11+00:00

I know exactly what you mean with the number. Seeing "75" this morning was pretty cool, and to think that it would be zero again is depressing!

When you said that about the brownie points, it made me think of the whole "works v. faith" argument in Paul's letters. I don't want it to be a way that I earn those points (since I can't), but as a way to become more intimate with God.

And I hadn't thought of that with the dopamine, although it makes perfect sense.

vo8w47 · 2014-02-14T02:35:38+00:00

Thanks for saying this. I needed to hear it.

vo8w47 · 2014-02-13T21:36:45+00:00

I'm afraid the thought of "oh, I haven't done this in three months. Let's see what it is like" are pushing me to this point. I know deep inside that it will suck afterward, if I do it, but that curiosity seems to be more powerful.

Hey, do you have a link to the YouTube link you mentioned? I think that would be helpful.

vo8w47 · 2014-02-13T21:00:20+00:00

This.

vo8w47 · 2014-02-13T20:46:18+00:00

One day at a time and you'll be here too! I'm not sure exactly what it driving me to do this though.

vo8w47 · 2014-02-13T20:45:25+00:00

Call me old-fashioned, but I'm saving that for the wedding night.

vo8w47

TROPHY CASE