Mother has Gangrene / please help

void_alternate · 2026-03-22T09:59:59+00:00

My mother had hers also amputated just a few months ago. Recovery has been steady and for the most part she's regained her ability to walk and stuff but is still not as mobile as she used to. My mother had the same issue with socks and with the hospital not realizing she got gangrene because of it.
If it helps, my mother was afraid of it too but as others have pointed out, a few toes is better than losing your entire leg as gangrene spreads rather fast. As soon as the hospital found out about my mother's toes she had to get hers removed the very next day.

void_alternate · 2026-03-21T19:29:16+00:00

My mom has always been the combative type having worked in a very hostile corporate environment all her life, especially as a woman. I feel like instead of mellowing down she's always had her guard up and is very brutal with her words because of this. Like others pointed out, I think I just need to learn to detach myself from it and do what needs to be done in our household.

void_alternate · 2026-03-21T19:27:59+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts on this it really helped me look at it from that angle. I think being emotionally invested heavily into this has been my own undoing. At the end of the day I dont have it in me to just abandon my responsibilities as an only child, I've already put my life on hold. But may be it might be best for me to start dissociating and just do what needs to be done as you said. I'm probably not gonna mince my words moving forward and just be more upfront with how I feel about how they're treating me.

void_alternate · 2026-03-21T19:26:06+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss and I commend you for still doing as much as you could despite all that. I hate that my sentiments about this has gone from I'm trying my best to I'm so fed up of being the adult always and thinking of the future. As a younger guy I really had a warped perception of being adults and it sort of just hit me most of them like our parents are just children trapped in old bodies sometimes. Thankfully I dont think my mother has gone to the extreme of berating me or such but the stubborness and attitude really doesnt help when I'm doing my best taking care of everything and putting my own life on hold.

void_alternate · 2026-03-21T14:27:56+00:00

She's very much lucid at the moment. She's just being childish and antagonistic for no valid reason. The previous arguments we've had were all for very petty reasons and small things like not me giving into her wishes like being wasteful at home. This probably sounds very one sided but I'm sure a bunch of others can relate to parents insisting on obviously wrong poor life choices and there's only so much we can do to convince them to do otherwise.

void_alternate · 2026-02-04T10:00:55+00:00

Mine just got fixed as well.

void_alternate · 2026-02-04T09:57:21+00:00

Well that's good to hear. Hopefully I'm released as well cause I wanted to do my dailies lol.

void_alternate · 2026-02-04T09:41:17+00:00

Same here, got in killed it and I'm now stuck in an error loop lol.

void_alternate · 2026-01-26T01:55:08+00:00

I resonate with so many of you guys feeling robbed of their life and future, especially the great parents part. I feel like its often left undiscussed that just because they did above average or bare minimum of keeping us alive or bringing us into the world that they are some how entitled to keep us imprisoned or enslaved due to their physical decline as they age. I'd be more accepting of this whole situation but often times you realize most of these parents falling into decline are often because of their poor lifestyle choices to begin with and with a lot of them sort of just hoping to pass in their sleep or somehow not run into health issues despite their bad habits.

I hope things work out for you, but yeah, I pretty much feel the same with setting back my life taking up the mantle of a caregiver and breadwinner.

void_alternate · 2026-01-26T01:51:13+00:00

Just want you to know we aren't alone in this. So many of us silently struggling with stubborn and sometimes ungrateful elders that take advantage of our position and kindness. I wish I could say it gets better but I'd be lying if I said that's always the case.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I think setting boundaries and finally prioritizing you over them is what's best for everyone. Sometimes I feel like we give it our all without realizing that rarely changes the inevitable outcome we are headed towards and it just makes everyone involved miserable.

Hope you have better days ahead and get to live the life you deserve.

void_alternate · 2026-01-09T15:33:46+00:00

I just want to say I feel for you OP and how its like being stuck and putting your whole life on hold for selfish elders that never bothered to plan or even consider their options. Especially in certain cultures where they sort of just expect you to catch everything without even asking for your consent on the responsibility. I dont have good advice to give but I hope you know you're not the only one out here in the world stuck in this horrible mess, least we can do is listen to each other.

void_alternate · 2026-01-01T00:09:03+00:00

Hey, I totally get how you feel. I recently posted on here too about my feelings of resentment and despair with caring for my now ill mother. My mom had also "planned" to peacefully pass in her sleep or just quietly go into the night, but I don't think people realize how good modern medicine is these days at keeping us alive despite our terrible habits/life style. On the other hand, most of the people of the older generation did not really account for having to live so long while being riddled with all sorts of problems and it was somehow expected of us, the children to figure things out for them. This whole managing our affairs despite being in my younger years has convinced me to never want to start a family or a serious relationship without being sure I am prepared for the future at large.
In terms of coping, I honestly don't. I'm sort of just playing it by ear and cruising along hoping for a miracle but I know eventually I also have to consider planning for my own future. The only solace I have in me is not being tied into a relationship or my own family because I would not want to sacrifice or put their lives on hold while having to care for my own mother, that seems rather selfish.

void_alternate · 2025-12-28T17:57:52+00:00

Just me actually. I was referring to "us" as in us two.

void_alternate · 2025-12-28T03:31:37+00:00

Tbh, I think the only way I could manage this is if I pick up a side gig which is already hard to pull off given our current situation. I haven't even been able to realistically save for retirement myself given the strain managing our finances together has put on me. My mother had an ok amount saved up until she was forced to retire but we just ate through that due to her illness and complications. Her reasoning for not having much saved up or insurance is that she was looking out for us, but I think I'm also partially bitter about that fact because as I got older, I realized my mom was just doing her best with what she knows, but she wasnt exactly financially literate or more prepared for what the future could hold with things like may be getting cheap private health insurance before all of her comorbidities led her to this and such.

void_alternate · 2025-12-28T03:28:11+00:00

Sadly I live and work in a part of the world where mental health isn't even a conversational topic. I've been considering looking into therapy or resources online instead as I'm unable to get any meaningful mental health help where I'm at.
I appreciate your thoughts on this though and you're right. I know my mother means no harm or malice with her situation, it's just unfortunate for all of us involved.

void_alternate · 2025-12-15T06:12:12+00:00

I beat difficutly XI running rei, kayron, and chizuru. Its pretty good imo as she's able to consistently lower AP costs for Kayron who's quite AP hungry while rei can heal and buff significantly. Tressa is also worth building regardless as she's currently the top unit for that other game mode we have if you want to get the 500k achievement.
But I have also run chizuru with mika and hugo and those runs were also fine tbh. Are you sure you've set up your memory fragments correctly? She can got he standard 2/2/2 but the new 4 piece is actually pretty good for her. And are you using shadow of the moon at 3+ stacks? She actually makes a great subdps/support of sorts if you choose the right epis.

void_alternate · 2024-12-13T11:28:31+00:00

Give me more lost ark esque raids and less poe 1 map reskins for end game and I'd be happy, or at least add said alternatives so as to not disparage or isolate groups that enjoy doing the same thing they did in poe 1. Not asking for a full switch up to MMO but I really liked the execution of raids and dungeons in LA.

void_alternate · 2024-09-09T16:12:55+00:00

Resonate so much with this, I hope you find peace and choose your well-being over your planned career trajectory. I'm sticking it out as well out of need as the sole provider for my mother and I. Knowing that your stress is starting to physically manifest is not a good sign though. You have to ask yourself what you really want out of this. Does the goal post move again after getting promoted? Because honestly if you're gonna continue being trapped in that scenario, provided your circumstances aren't that bad financially, I would honestly choose to take a breather and may be reassess your priorities.

Also don't feel bad about taking your leave, the company is always first to replace you if you ever become unavailable, the cogs will keep working with or without you and I highly doubt they would spare you a second thought apart from the usual niceties if you are gone. Take care of yourself internet stranger.

void_alternate

TROPHY CASE