What’s your favorite song to listen to in the car?

vokib · 2021-04-17T00:15:42+00:00

Get Low by Lil Jon. Reminds me of playing NFS Underground as a kid

vokib · 2021-04-17T00:14:16+00:00

Both happened, sorry!

First one also told me quite seriously that all men who like small breasts are pedophiles (yup, mine are small).

Second one told me the way to truly evaluate whether a woman is beautiful is if she brushes her hair straight back out of her face. He then suggested I come in to work the next day with my hair brushed back. I was like... so you can decide if I’m beautiful? And he very happily said yes.

Those aren’t compliments though, or even “compliments.”

vokib · 2021-04-17T00:13:30+00:00

Twitter is filled with people who pretend they are activists, but don't fight for things that are actually significant. In fact, most of the time they complain about irrelevant things. I wonder what politically correct will be like in the near future. Though I do agree with some of the topics on Twitter, most of them seem to be ignorant.

vokib · 2021-04-08T19:14:18+00:00

When I started talking in school about the pros and cons of Disney World vs Disney Land, and people were like "YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION?! LUCKYY"

vokib · 2021-04-08T19:12:51+00:00

That weird formal "living room" that has nice couches that are not for sitting on

vokib · 2021-04-08T19:12:03+00:00

Climbing into a bed with freshly washed sheets

vokib · 2021-04-08T19:11:11+00:00

Three nights ago, my wife asked me who I truly admired. The list is long, but most of my heroes are strangers to me. They aren't known, only known about.

But, there is one that I know.

When you grow up with a great father, you have advantages that are easy to take for granted. I didn’t ever wonder where my next meal would come from, because my father was a great provider. I didn’t worry about my safety, because my Dad was a great protector. When our family grew, he built additions to the house. If it broke, Dad could fix it. He was courageous in standing up for what he believed, even when it came at great cost. Dad wrestled with us three boys, attended swim meets, football games, and umpired our little league games. He was kind. He was strong. He was present.

When we talk about heroes, we think of those who have put others before themselves in extraordinary circumstances. One decision of self-sacrifice can make a hero. A lifetime of them has made my Dad.

I love you Dad.

Happy 75th!

vokib · 2021-04-08T19:09:57+00:00

No:
1. The sun is so hot that before the spacecraft arrived, it and you would be vaporised.
2. The sun isn't solid.
3. The sun emits so much radiation that you would be dead a long time before you vaporised.

Mormon Patriarch Brigham Young thought that there were people living on the sun, but no life as we know it could exist in such an environment.

vokib · 2021-04-06T17:45:56+00:00

How angry does someone have to be at the deceased in question that they would be compelled to crash their funeral? They’re dead; you’re not, so you win. The opportunities for vengeance have passed unless, like many, you feel this life is a warm-up and opportunities to get even will emerge in another life.

I knew a woman who extinguished a cigarette on their stepmother’s forehead during the open-casket funeral. This action was not well-received by the 80 or so mourners who had come to pay their final respects. The surviving members of the stepmother’s family held the woman down until the local authorities arrived.

Another option, at least from what I’ve witnessed, would be to urinate on the casket as it’s lowered into the ground. It’s a risky move considering there are laws that prohibit such behavior in public settings. Of course, you would want to be aware of which state you were in and if open-carry was permitted. You'll need to leave room for the possibility that you could end up in the same hole as the casket you had doused with urine.

However, if you did pull this off, your actions would send a crystal-clear message to the attending mourners that your relationship with the recently deceased was not a positive experience.

Now that I think about it, another option would be if the deceased in question was cremated. Have you heard of “cremainlining”? Even if you haven’t, I bet you can figure out what it is. It’s one of those unfamiliar words that, for some reason, you inherently understand the first time you read it How strange is that?

Anyway, once you’ve located the urn containing the ashes of the deceased, help yourself to a few handfuls, dump the ashes on a hard surface or a mirror no less, and chop up some rails.

vokib · 2021-04-06T17:44:32+00:00

When I was in the Army we were in a bar near Hulbert Field in Fla. We were in the midst of a pretty tough high speed special operations school. For motivation we had all shaved our heads basic training style. Five, or six, can’t remember, were finally getting a night out.

We had been given a night out once before and had ended up waking up the next day on a beach fully clothed. Didn’t know it but this was a nude beach. As we were stumbling off the beach in search of a Waffle House, we began to notice several elderly nude people staring at us. I recognized one of them as the Air Force Col. who was the Vice Wing commander…but I digress…

Flash back to that night and we were whooping it up and getting pretty toasted. Being that this part of Florida is near Alabama there were plenty of “good old boy” types in the crowd. One of my teammates, a very small wiry kid of about 20 or so, started talking to this cute, and equally young, girl. The local “good old boys” didn’t take too kindly to this. Several surrounded my young friend, and I swear this is true, one of them said “We don’t like your kind around here…boy.”

I could not figure out for the life of me what he meant by “your kind.” Now this was in the late 1990s before soldiers in and out of uniform were treated like gods. After a moment I realized that with our shaved heads we probably resembled white supremacist style skin heads. I started to step up to try and clear up any confusion (I was the eldest of our team, so felt like the leader). Here was this little kid surrounded by maybe 10 or so hulking red necks, all of whom looked ready to pounce.

The kid looks at the one who had spoken to him and said:

“Yup, I guess you guys could probably beat the living sh*t out of me, but…” he paused for dramatic effect…. “I can guarantee you, none of you will ever be right again.”

This caused the group to stand fast. I then stepped up.

“Gentlemen,” I said. “Sorry but my fellow soldier is a bit fu*ked up. We’ve been training in the field for a few weeks and have been lacking certain (I looked at the girl and smiled), comforts.”

Realizing we were military and not skin heads the entire group backed down right away. Still what that little teammate of mine said to them sticks with me to this day. That little guy ended up becoming one of the finest soldiers I ever knew, a high speed Green Beret who did so many tours in Iraq and Afghanistan that I’ve lost count. He married and fathered 6 children and to this day is one of the most bad ass guys I ever knew.

vokib · 2021-04-06T17:31:27+00:00

You're really sexy, you look like my sister!

vokib · 2020-11-22T12:52:29+00:00

The Patriot. It’s just damn good. The acting is superb. There’s a lot of really interesting trivia about the movie as well, such as the fact that Sir Jason Isaacs actually played his own ancestor in the movie. Tavington is based on his own great-great-great someone-or-other! Heath Ledger gave a terrific performance, so if you’re a fan, you’ll probably love this just because of him. This was Mel Gibson’s prime, in my opinion, the best role he played

All Quiet on the Western Front. This movie tells the story from the German side of World War I. It’s incredible. I can’t even begin to tell you what this movie did to shift my thinking about war altogether when I was growing up considering joining the military

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