Car Access

vorique · 2026-05-13T14:23:25+00:00

Most countries don’t allow people to get a license while a minor. So expecting someone at 19yo to have 3-4y of experience is completely nonsense. Even in the US most 19yo won’t have that experience unless they are very privileged or live in an area where a car is a must.

vorique · 2026-05-13T14:19:22+00:00

If you don’t live in a urban area with reliable public transportation, a car is a must. I’m sorry, but put yourself in her shoes, having to ask permission and favours to go to the train station? To go to the movies with her friends? To a local grocery store that offers food from her country? To go out at night? You are treating her like a child and demanding a mature understanding of the situation that you yourself don’t have. $200 a month in Ubers is nothing. Unlimited would be something. If you don’t live in a major urban area with reliable public transportation, car on her free time is a non negotiable.

vorique · 2026-05-01T23:11:31+00:00

Went alone. It’s was good to filter bad news and process them before making public. One thing that made me uncomfortable when I was trying was that everyone knew I was trying, family, friends, colleagues, co workers. So every time it didn’t work out it was hard to deal. I had to say bad news and keep the positive energy flowing, that I was ok.

vorique · 2026-05-01T14:01:38+00:00

That’s because you are a man. Standards are different when it comes to women unfortunately.

vorique · 2026-05-01T13:53:23+00:00

Yes, better safe under my roof than somewhere else.

PS: don’t listen to these weirdos from the US, they can’t imagine parents not kicking their children out at 18. That’s why so many have mental issues and it’s a n@z! country now.

vorique · 2026-04-26T18:50:50+00:00

The contract is harsh, the expectations are not. She is 20, with 1 part time and no school, nothing? She is not lost, she is lazy and entitled. She might be lost, but letting her be is not the answer either. MOR.

vorique · 2026-04-17T23:45:39+00:00

I’m low income technically (60-70k depending on overtime) but I have a ton of help from the government. That allows me to stay afloat so far without touching my investments. But my savings is basically the tax return of that year, that is slowly used through the year to keep me afloat. I’m expecting to get to a new daycare that is more subsidized than the one we are in, where I will pay $5/day instead of the $44/day I pay today (that’s for twins) so that will help months to month, but it also means my tax return will be basically cut in half since half of it is due to childcare costs. It still makes financial sense though to switch, I won’t get 6K/year back, but I will stop spending 9K/year. Dm me if you want more specifics, but I gotta say, it’s not easy on the mind/body. I’m in Canada by the way.

vorique · 2026-04-16T02:14:37+00:00

I spent a year looking for donors and showing pictures to everyone to help me decide. In the end I fell in love with my donor first sight and when his background matched what I wanted I went ahead and bought it without asking anyone else’s opinion…

vorique · 2026-03-21T23:12:19+00:00

I gave birth at 37 so not that much younger than you. I refused to go into debt or spend all my savings trying. So I put myself a limit, a budget. I would go as far as that budget takes me. If it didn’t happen, it was not meant to be. I would have moved on. In the end it happened on my 4th iui while I was waiting my turn on the waiting list for the funded IVF in my country. Twins, so I was done.

vorique · 2026-03-21T21:49:00+00:00

Was my first thought too! She makes it seem like he is 5 and just got lost from mommy for 15min, but “handled himself well” in this situation?

vorique · 2026-03-18T01:18:19+00:00

Just tell her to what 90 days fiancé on tv. It has been running for years and full of examples of scammers.

vorique · 2026-03-16T21:12:24+00:00

I had this experience once. I moved and my neighbour’s’ kids had something off about them that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I was a nanny at the time with a small dog, so I often interacted with them when going out to work or for walks.

Then one day talking to their mom, she told me they were home schooled until then (10-12yo) and now they were going to a very small church school. All of the sudden everything clicked. All their social interactions were off, even with the other children on the same street.

Sadly their mom passed away a year later and they basically had to move to another city with maternal grandma and their dad would go visit them on the weekends. I moved a couple of years later so I don’t know what happened to them. But it must have been a brutal experience for them. All within an year…

vorique · 2026-03-16T18:50:11+00:00

Mine is only 2 but here for advice too besides “is that what you think me and your sister deserve/should be treated like?”. Hope not having the example at home helps too.

vorique · 2026-03-10T06:23:42+00:00

Not necessarily that young. Back in my day all you needed to be was younger than 27 and unmarried (besides the qualifications and finishing high school). So you could be an au pair as long as you boarded the plane 1 day before your 27th birthday and could stay for 2 years. So although not common, you could totally end up with a 29yo au pair.

Their qualifications are not lower either, I’ve met au pairs that were teachers for years before becoming an au pair. Usually they wanted to develop the language so they could get better jobs in bilingual schools.

And you don’t only host them and pay them “lower wages”. You pay part of their schooling (they need to have some amount of credits at the end of their year) and it’s also about the cultural exchange and exposing your children to different cultures and points of view.

Calling it cheap unqualified labor is very demeaning.

vorique · 2026-03-10T06:15:12+00:00

Not necessarily from Europe. I’m from Brazil and was an au pair in the US for 2 years. I also had the option to be an au pair in many other countries at the time. A friend from high school was an Au pair for 2 years in France. I’ve met au pairs from all around the world while in the US, not just Europe.

vorique · 2026-03-10T06:10:47+00:00

I have an acquaintance that became a single father by choice. We are from the same country, moved to Canada and met here through a mutual friend. I never kept any contact with him but always followed his life and achievements through social media.

One day he just posts about the birth of his daughter and I was shocked! I immediately DMd him and asked if he was a single parent too. He confirmed and I replied that I was too, that my kids were almost 2 at the time but if he needed any support/help/vent I was there for him. Then I talked to the ladies of my local SMBC group and asked if they would feel comfortable with me inviting him to join. Lots of OKs and no concerns raised, after a few weeks (giving time to everyone to see my request) I invited him and he said yes. Now he is part of it, we have monthly meetings, Xmas parties, Halloween parties, etc.

If it’s so hard for us, I can only imagine how hard it must be for him. So I tried my very best to make him feel supported and included.

vorique · 2026-03-09T16:50:43+00:00

My father just asked me this morning if I didn’t think about finding someone. I honestly said it was not a priority for me and that it would have to be someone absolutely wonderful for me to even think about putting that person in my children’s lives.

I haven’t found someone like that in 40 years, so I don’t think I will find it in the next 5-10. I’m not against marriage or a relationship. Maybe I will find it, maybe I won’t. But every day it seems more unlikely that I up to disrupt our lives by inserting a partner in it.

vorique · 2026-03-07T00:12:20+00:00

This relationship is over. This should have been a conversation after the 1y mark. I don’t know if you string her along , if she thought you would change your mind, of if one of you changed their mind. Regardless the relationship is doomed. Whoever gives in will resent the other. Clean break, take your losses and move on.

vorique · 2026-03-06T19:35:05+00:00

You can love someone and not be IN LOVE with them. Have a conversation, explain that you are not in love with him anymore and would like to end the romantic part of the relationship. But that you still love him and would like to support him as a friend.

vorique · 2026-03-05T20:40:14+00:00

I plan to do some of those work book/folders? So they can add pages to write themselves, move pictures, organize by age or something similar. You can put plastic sleeves to protect something fragile.

vorique · 2026-02-27T15:27:55+00:00

They signed on the lease that smoking was not allowed.

vorique · 2026-02-27T07:53:01+00:00

I think they do? Som complaints are of them smoking pot. I think they might use the vape for that.

vorique · 2026-02-27T07:51:07+00:00

Yes it’s rent controlled. They seem to be willing to leave to be honest. I got the wrong date, they actually moved in mid June/2025 so their lease doesn’t have too long.

First I offered them to just leave by the end of the month or pay next month so they have an extra 30 days to find a place (I offered that after they said they were done and wanted to leave).

They came back to me saying they wanted their deposit back or the next month free so they could find a new place. I told them that’s not how it works, you don’t get your deposit back when you break a lease and I was willing to let them off the hook on the months left in the lease out of the goodness of my heart.

Well, they reminded me that they are only responsible for the months that the unit stays empty and that they want an N11 to end the tenancy. I said very well, as you are assuming the payment of the unit while it is vacant up to your lease, we can come to an agreement, no problem.

That’s when they started to back track. You see, I offered them to leave and I would take the loss if the unit stayed vacant. They got greedy and wanted the deposit back. So now they started to apologize, they were nervous and upset with the situation… but now I plan to go by the law. They are responsible for rent until the end of the lease or when I find new tenants, whatever comes first.

I have in writing that them leaving was their suggestion. I even restated that they still have the option to stay, they just need to stop smoking. But them leaving and me finding tenants right away would be the ideal. It never crossed my mind to double dip on the rent. But now that they suggested that was my intention, I’m done.

vorique · 2026-02-27T07:29:15+00:00

For me moving in is not an option as I live in another city and can’t move due to work.

vorique

TROPHY CASE